How to deal with social phobia?

Question

I cant take it anymore. I say five words to a person in the beginning of the day and spend the next 5 periods thinking if I sounded ok saying it, if what i said was alright, what the person thought of me, and so many more things. I just cant stand it and dont kno wut to do

I honestly dont really have any friends because I never learned how to make them and my parents arent the type you 'talk about everything to'

Answer 1

Don't obsess. They'll only get uncomfortable around you if you're intentionally mean or if you obsess.

Answer 2

I have social phobia as well (to a certain point). You should really talk with a licensed therapist that treats those with anxiety disorders and you may also really benefit from the ssri antidepressants such as Paxil to help with the symptoms. And btw, for medication due to mental disorders, it's best to get treated by a psychiatrist as opposed to a family dr as they have much more knowledge and expertise in dispensing psychotropic meds.

I do deep breathing which really helps. It's a type of relaxation technique which includes (one way of doing it), slowly breathing in thru the nose and then slowly out thru pursed lips. I typically just do that a couple of times making sure not to do so too fast as to not hyperventilate. For me, after the deep breathing for a couple of times, I just breath normally and don't force it.

What also helps or helped me was to remember that everyone has the same insecurities and generally wants to seem like a flawless person. Though with how catty and gossipy people tend to be, they will always find something to nitpick about, if even behind the other person's back. I just try to remember that we are all human beings and all just trying to fit in and feel comfortable in our own skin. Please do get professional help though. It can really increase your quality of life.

Answer 3

There is a social anxiety exercise you can do. Just go downtown somewhere and scream a four letter word. The purpose of this is to show people will just forget and it doesn't really matter. You could try and mention some stuff like Maybe your grandmother died to someone or just something a little personal. If you want feel free to message me. Also if you have any with dating just go somewhere public and start getting digits. Its kinda funny how many you'll get.

I started reading a couple of books to help with mine.
I want to let you know from experience that even when you start to make friends you are going to fail. Not forever, but its going to take a number of people before you figure out stuff to do.

One example of myself was I was hanging out with a really nice girl. She had her own problems also. But it wasn't her fault. I was going threw what is called Cognitive thinking. She had been generally very negative throughout the day and then when I was walking down a dirt road with her she started to open up to me. Her first thing she mentioned went fine. But I remember my train of thought during that period and I was finally having such a fun day with this person I couldn't stand how negative she was being even though it was my fault and didn't realize that she was trying to open up to me. Like the book said. I would fail. And I was trying to make fun of myself and it TOTALLY came out wrong. In reality I really wish I had stopped walking and just given her a hug. But Also wish I had given an example of what had happened to me and I understand what her experience was like. But I don't think she would have liked the hug?

Answer 4

There is no easy answer to this. A true social phobia can take years of therapy to "cure". My advice is to seek out a counsellor to talk to. Your school should have one.
Also there are anti-anxiety medications that reduce the effects of social anxiety. Talk to your about them.

Answer 5

well just chill out and relax when u talk to people and only talk to people who you are comfortable with like your friends and family until ur ready to talk to new people