i have a boat in my front yard, there is a homless guy living in it, he talks like a pirate. when i asked him to leave he threatened to keel haul me.
2007-03-14 12:53:58 · 42 answers · asked by Richard J 3 in Cars & Transportation ➔ Boats & Boating
give him a bottle of rum, then when hes leggless drunk, tie him to the keel of your boat, he will respect you, and if you let him live he will work for you and call you captain
2007-03-14 13:00:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious??? You actually have a homeless guy living in a boat in your yard who talks like a pirate? I assume he talks like a Disney pirate, right? Like, "Arrrrrrr Ya scurvy swabs!" or "Shiver me timbers!!" I only ask, because a modern day pirate would talk like this: "Give me all your money! Next, I will shoot you with my machine guns, rape your children, shoot your children, then set your boat on fire and sink it!" Modern pirates are no laughing matter. If he is talking like a modern day pirate, call the police and/or FBI immediately! If he is a Disney-style pirate, film him and put him on Youtube! It would probably be a great internet hit. You could even befriend him. Get him some pirate clothes, a skull and crossbones flag for the boat, and a pet parrot. You are very lucky to have a disney-style pirate in your yard. Most people never get that opportunity.
2007-03-15 15:49:14 · answer #2 · answered by hockeyhockey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt call the police. I would hitch the boat up to your truck and drive like a madman a couple of towns over.(wait until like 4am when you know he will be sleeping. Then have a bunch of your friends waiting there to help you remove him. Atleast then you wont have to worry about him for a while till he makes his way back into town. Or heck you could call the police station ahead of time and tell them you are going to drop off a prisoner. That would be really funny.
2007-03-15 13:22:55 · answer #3 · answered by bucketmouthhauler 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't kick him out, Many people would love to have a pirate living on there boat. Just imagine the stories he could tell. To get the really raunchy ones you will have to get him liquered up. Yo HO HO and a bottle of rum. Arrrggg.
2007-03-15 08:25:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you call your local law enforcement agency and report that an "UNINVITED GUEST" has taken residency
in a boat that is stored in your yard. It sounds as if this person
may be a "poopdeck" SHORT of a SAILOR, if you know what I mean...I would let them handle the situation, since they have experience in such matters. Good Luck!
2007-03-14 13:01:27 · answer #5 · answered by Dee Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to mcdonalds and get him a happy meal. Say that you will give it to him if he leaves the boat.
Or, if he acts like a pirate
Say this "I'll be getting my crusty crew back at blackpearl harbor to take you out, and make you walk the plank, unless you leave" (in a pirate accent).
2007-03-14 12:58:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your the captain keel haul the bloke yourself
2007-03-14 13:00:50 · answer #7 · answered by David A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call the police, just that simple. No reason to play hero or good samaritan with a guy who could have mental problems and actually knife you or something.
In the future, learn how to properly secure your boat.
I'm sort of hoping this is just a joke though, cause it its pretty funny.
2007-03-14 12:56:10 · answer #8 · answered by gvfordo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One night as he lay sleeping, take your lawn sprinkler and turn it on him. Tell him a storm is brewing and he better haul it to dry land. That should do it. Otherwise, grab a fishing pole and join him, lol. You should be okay so long as he isn't after your booty!
2007-03-14 12:58:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until the middle of the night and then launch your boat into a lake. When he gets up to whiz, OOPS!
2007-03-15 14:04:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋