he accusses me of cheating when im not we fight everyday .. he yells at me because i dont want an abortion but says he loves me and i love him to death !!! what can i do to help him change????
2007-03-14 12:53:56 · 37 answers · asked by edwinandmelissa92005 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
try to tell yourself and him you 2 must speak and listen to each other else you cant understand each other.
If you , reaaly,cant, go get some councelling for couples.
2007-03-14 12:58:37 · answer #1 · answered by janne5011 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing get away from him before you have that baby. That baby will be the most important thing that ever happens to you and by being with someone like that you will force that child to lead a crappy life which will in turn lead the baby to not be able to have a good life on there own. See the importance here. Also most of the time someone is accusing you of doing something because they actually are doing it and feel the guilt and also believe that if they can do it so can you. Love is just a word the action behind it is what counts all his actions beside just a word says hate if you ask me. Also wanting you to get an abortion shows just what kind of a person that he is.
2007-03-14 22:04:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have not given him reason to doubt your loyalty....your husband is very insecure and has some major confidence problems. Usually the root of a problem like this - whether its a male or female doing the accusing; is because the person isn't happy or complete with themselves. They are looking for their mate to fill them up and so they lash out when it doesn't fill the void. NO RELATIONSHIP can fill a void that a person has within themselves before they ever met you.
As far as this abortion issue; you need to explain that a little further. Did you plan this pregnancy? Did he express that he didn't want children before you married him? Can't comment on that without more background....
If you really love him, and feel like the relationship can be salvaged; go to counseling and try to work on your issues and learn healthier ways to express your feelings. Good or bad.
2007-03-14 13:04:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is called abuse.Leavehim now. It will only get worse.
The accusations of the affair are due to his overjealousy & the demands for an abortion are so he can stay the center of your life.
Leave now, before your child gets hurt inthe process.
Also, having once been a member of the "But we've been together X years, I don't want to just throw it away" club--That whole mentality--yea... chunk it--you'll just end up wasting even more time on his ***.
2007-03-14 13:52:04 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer Anne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have said leave him, but you say you love him. About changing him sit down and wait if he chooses to be the way he is you can't change him he can only change himself. I feel so sad for the baby having the father it does and having a mother that puts herself before the well being of her child. May God watch over that child since no one else seems to be.
2007-03-14 13:07:19 · answer #5 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have found in life the accuser is usually the one doing the cheating and he must be inmature to want you to have an abortion,not ready for adult responsabilities.
It will not get any better,only worse,pack your bags and get out before the baby is born because he will resent the child and neither of you deserve to be treated that way.
Love doesn't hurt,this aint love!
2007-03-14 13:02:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't put up with this another second. Someone who accusses you of cheating and who constatly yells at you does NOT love you!
2007-03-14 12:58:33 · answer #7 · answered by woundbyte 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have several choices, stay with this abusive idiot who is most likely cheating himself and is trying to get rid of his guilt by accusing you.
Get marriage counseling for yourself, or both of you since you both need to have help, if this relationship is going to work.
Get counseling for yourself, you are going to need it, no matter if you remain with this abusive person or not.
Get out, get help for you and your baby, and file for divorce....or better yet hire a lawyer, kick him out and force him to pay all the bills for you and your baby, get a divorce and live your own life.
You can only change yourself, and not others.
Loving a selfish abusive idiot is not going to prove anything, your are only killing your own spirit and emotions by putting up with it.
I wish you good luck
2007-03-14 13:19:37 · answer #8 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't change anyone, only make it a little better for awhile. I know you love him, but there are more important things to consider than that, espically if you are pregnant and verbally abused. I know it's hard, but I suggest you leave him. It's going to get worse if you don't put an end to it now.
2007-03-14 13:02:17 · answer #9 · answered by Kaja 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh, did he tell you he wanted to change?Chances are he isnt going to he.The guy he is now is who youll be with till death do you part.Any guy who would ask you to murder his and yours baby isnt much of a man.Most guys who accuse a woman of cheating usually is cheating on her.You might want to pack and go home and tell your mom you made a bad mistake.Tell him he is going to have to change before you'll come back and that means counseling and church.
2007-03-14 12:59:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's got to want to change, nothing you can do about it. Quit nagging him about it and maybe he'll open his eyes. All he's hearing right now is you yelling and b*tching. Try going to a faith based counselor. I don't suggest a regular marriage counselor since most of them fill your heads with garbage and teach you to point fingers. Faith based ones will help you be considerate of each other's feelings, and teach you to walk through life together.
If he was like this before marriage, then it's your fault for marrying a guy like this. Don't ever expect your spouse to change after marriage. It's selfish, and you have control whether or not you want to spend eternity with someone.
2007-03-14 12:58:41 · answer #11 · answered by SillyKimmie 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋