When do you call it quits in a marriage? I am so damn unhappy.?

Question

I have been married for 3 years now and i just dont know if i should call it quits. I am worried if i do call it quits he would freak out on me, maybe get violent. where do i turn when i feel that i am just a bad wife, one who cant do anything right or have anyone love me. Is it because i am not pretty enough to keep my husband happy with me or is it because i am not meant to be around this person? How do i pack up my life and leave? Where do i go? What do i use for money because i dont even have accsess to the checking account? Should i just stay put and deal with this because it is life? is it normal to cry everyday when your married?? i know i sound really dumb but i just dont know where to go! please someone help me!

Answer 1

The first thing to do is stop blaming yourself. I'm sure you're doing the best you can. Secondly, what about your parents? Could you maybe stay with them a while to get yourself straightened out? As far as money goes, get a job, save your money, then you can operate better. Good Luck!!

Answer 2

It appears that you need some professional advice. That way you can receive guidance in what you do. Did you marry young without life experiences? Are you working? Go to a local library and read books on the subject. That requires you to do things on your own and to get out of the house and be around other people while you are finding out information. How do you know you are not doing anything right? Has your husband physically or verbally abused you? Talk to someone you trust, not in the family or not his family; maybe a church member or an older woman.

Answer 3

You need to get out as soon as possible! Do you have family you can go to or a good friend? I know what your going through, I just never had anyone to talk to or go to. I would wait until he goes to work and pack your sh-t and get out of there.
You are worth more than that-He is abusive by making you feel bad about yourself, keeping you from the checking account and your also worried about him freaking out, which means he probably will! If you do not have money, when he goes to work , ahve the local police help you out and tell them your situation! You are a good person and happy people don't cry every day! Hell no!

Answer 4

My city has a shelter for battered women. If you are being battered, look in the phone book for shelters, call them. They can provide protection, hiding, and help with jobs, relocation, etc.

Secondly, you are just as beautiful and intelligent as anyone else thinks they are. Look at yourself in a mirror. Think of ways to improve your looks. Ways that you are happy with. Love yourself, admire yourself. Build your confidence in yourself and your self-esteem. Don't wait on others to validate you. Tell yourself you are pretty.

I left an emotionally abusive husband once. I stayed with friends, and family until I could get back on my feet. I left with two children. It was better for all of us. Since then, I have learned and continue to find ways to love myself.

Get out and apply for food stamps. Look for a job. Do you have friends or family that will help you? You sound a little depressed. I was severely depressed when I was in my situation.

If you have a doctor, talk to your doctor. Confide in him or her. Perhaps the doctor could make some suggestions. Find a way out of your misery. Life is too short. You deserve to be happy and if your husband won't work with you for happiness for the both of you, you deserve a better spouse than him. Good luck.

Answer 5

Honey, good looks and sex doesnt turn a jerk into an angel.Did anyone warn you not to marry him?Now lets see, do you blow money foolishly?I could understand him not letting you at the money if you did, be honest.Has he ever beat on you?If so next time, jail him.If he is abusive go home to your parents now and get away from him and tell them you made a mistake.No it isnt normal to cry everyday.You should leave and tell him when he is willing to go to counseling youll go to counseling and when you think the time is right, youll go back to him.

Answer 6

What happened in those 3 yrs. that made you this unhappy? Did you love the guy in the first place? All I can tell you is to communicate. My X said she tried, but I don't think she tried hard enough. The communication between the two of us shut down and she had an affair. She wasn't happy either, she said. I don't think it had as much too me as with her. If it hadn't been for the affair we probably could've resolved our issues. Either way its not easy. Good Luck

Answer 7

I am so sorry you are in this situation. I wonder how it got to this point, but if you feel you need to get out then try to find a friend or family member to live with and get a simple job to save money. Life is short - don't stay if you are that unhappy!

Answer 8

i'm sorry to hear that baby girl, there are so many things going on in your life that need to be fixed. first let give yourself some hope so that you'll have a goal to reach. you know better than me what will make you independent. i guess you played "what if" game. so, what they called you a bad wife, they don't know how it it. so, what if he gets violence, at least you'll be out of it. they'll be someone who'll care about you as long as you give the same back. find a lawyer, who has free consultation. you need to start being you for once.

Answer 9

Marriage isn't always easy and you didn't really specify what the issues are that are causing the big problems. Before you decide to call it quits have you tried getting into marriage counseling? Counseling can help you both tons if you are both committed to it!

Answer 10

Happiness is your own responsibility, not someone else's. It's a choice too. Change your attitude and see what happens. Why is divorce even an alternative? If he is physically abusing you, has an addiction, or has cheated, then yes.