My wife kissed her boss how do I get over it and forgive her?

Question

She has quit this job a while back. Things had been going bad for a while last year and I guess this boss of hers was feeding of of this....She had taken a trip to OK city with her compan and I found text mess that said she needed someone to hold her for a night...For some reason I knew this wasnt coming to me so I asked her...she told me it was going to himand immediaty I asked I asked if he was sleeping with the Fat bastard....she said no and nothing happened....that was bck in Jan and Saturday we were talking about something and BAM there it was she said he had kissed her....I asked if she kissed back...I got a no but I was thinking whatever...I persued itmore until she broke and said it was going on for a couple weeks...and she said that she keep telling him no but it wasnt working....So when they were out on an appointment one day he rached back into the back set and then dropped one on her.....I told her if she really didnt wnt it to happen she would of said something.

Answer 1

Sorry to hear this. It will take a while. Probably several months till the anger settles and the hurt passes.

But if she confessed it instead of you catching her, then that means that she has some conviction which makes reconciling this matter a good idea.

You have to understand however that forgiveness and trust are two different things. She may have your forgiveness instantly, but it will take a while to gain your trust. If she loves you she will be willing to be there for you while you hurt about it, and take how ever long it takes for you to heal.

Good luck...I've been there. It sucks.

Answer 2

good thing is that she told you about it cause she felt bad, knew it was wrong. bad thing is that its her boss, i dont care for the power situation. assume she told you how this came about, the real issue is do you trust each other. A kiss from a boss poses special problems.
if i was her, i'd stay with the same boss if i had strong feelings developing, but i might also stay with him if i had NO feelings for him & knew i could handle the situation. one kiss does not an affair make. none of us are dead, we still look and imagine, focus on the trust established till now and build back up from there.
if she hadnt told you, youd never know, THEN there might be a more serious problem. dont hold this over her forever tho, i personally dont feel a kiss is like cheating, just doing a 10-yr check on still being alive. talk it out, then put it away and dont haul it out every time you have an argument.

Answer 3

hi there I know how you feel first you must think was it a passion kiss or just a friendly kiss? try talking to her you both are grow adults. but like they say trust with truthful is a roller coaster ride . hey do not do anything you'll regret later on ok . if your find it to forgive as god forgive us then do so. do u both have kids if you do do it for the kids if you do not follow your heart but do not do anything foolish. talking is the best way to any situation and a better understanding of things then screaming and fighting . be wise if you find yourself losing your mind get professional help 4 both of you even your near by church can help be well be safe god bless.

Answer 4

You don't just "Get Over" this kinda thing.

She needs to know what her actions did to you. What if felt like, for you and she has to realize that you may not be so forgiving right away, stuff like this takes time.

And if you want to fix this, you have to try to be trusting with her again, and if you wanna call her and follow her whatever, she has to be okay with that because you have to rebuild that trust you lost. And she's gotta accept that.

And when or if you slowly begin to trust her again, make sure that you don't use this incident later on as amo against her. You have to move on...together!

Answer 5

That's a tough one. It will take a long time for you to get over it so don't put pressure on yourself to do it. Forgiveness is also a process. Do not rush it. Your wife is the one that should worry about how this is affecting you not you worry about how to get over it and forgive her. It will take a conscience effort on your part to get over it and forgive. Makes me think of the country song, Forgive, a line from it goes "forgive, that's a might big word for such a small man(woman in this case)". Good luck. If you want the relationship to work, in time you will get over it and forgive her.

Answer 6

Your wife is the one that cheated, so it isn't your job to figure out a way to fix the trust problem you now have. If she wants to make things better, she has to gain your trust again. Maybe that will mean finding a different job... no matter what, its going to take time for you to get over it and forgive her.

Answer 7

I don't know if I could ever get over it. I would always have that thought in the back of my mind everytime she went to work. Maybe she needs a job change to get away from her boss. Good luck with that one!

Answer 8

You find out why she did it. There are bigger issues at play than just the kiss. What's missing in your relationship? Why did she go to this guy in the first place? Have a heart to heart with her. It's possible that she loves him, in which case both of you have decisions to make. Good luck.

Answer 9

well if it was a serious kiss talk to her and ask her if she loves the man and that if she does than if something goes wrong that she will probably lose him and her job that might change her mind if it was a playful but not threatening than let it go but if she does it again your going to have to have a serious talkbut make sure she doesnt take it the wrong way

Answer 10

She needs to get another job. She needs to quit, it's unacceptable for her to work there. My boss asked me to do some things with him, I told my husband, the next day I resigned. What husband would put up with his wife working around someone that is sexually attracted to her? It's unethical on both sides! That's how you get over it.