Why do I feel like this? AND how do I feel better??

Question

I've always been a fairly possitive person and try to look at the bright side of things and it's seemed to work for me. Since I've began college, I've gone through alot of things. Me and my girl friend of 18 months split...the distance was just too hard, I moved 45 min away from home, and everything around me is brand new. That's alot to deal with...believe it or not. And, no doubt, things have gotten better (1st quarter was miserable for me) but I'm still feelin down quite often. I'm not sure why...I'm just not happy with things. I'm an introverted person...not meaning that I don't want or like to talk to people but it's sometimes hard for me...causes me alot of anxiety. I had a very close group of friends growing up but now we've all split and gone seperate ways. So I guess..college is just a bit lonely at the moment. so the question might be: how can I get out of this slump...How can I start talking to people without anx. and how can I start enjoying life and everything?

this Spring quarter is my last one at this current school...I'm transfering to OSU in the fall (hopfully)....totally new experience. Just lookin for some guidelines. Thanks for answering! and please don't comment if you don't wanna help

Answer 1

You have had quite a few stressors. You might consider seeing a counsellor on campus. This sounds fairly situational to me. If you need to see a therapist at a clinic. It takes time but you gotta bring those grades up or you'll never be the next president. It's possible you need an anti-depressant for a year or so.

Answer 2

I like to read good funny books when I don't feel good. And talking to people without anxiety is not as common as it sounds. Most people are nervous about whether the other person will judge them or if they will be liked or just anxiety about not making a fool of themselves. I think that to be completely completely free of anxiety is not something easily attainable.
Time heals everything I've heard and you may have to try new things even if you don't want to while time passes. That may help with the anxiety and even with the enjoyment of life. I had an awesome Calculus class one semester which came after me not having any friends at the college I was attending. We got to know each other because the class was very vocal and so when the semester was over we all when out and had fun. I still am in touch with some of those people. Even when you are afraid to say something or afraid that you aren't enjoying life, say it anyway, do it anyway and something good will probably happen. And if it doesn't there will be no regrets about missing an opportunity.

Answer 3

Sounds like you are homesick. Change is hard on a lot of people. What I would suggest, is either at this place or your next new college, Join as many new clubs as you have time for. or and this is what I did several years ago. go get a part time job as a cashier, in this situation you will have to talk to people. and the more you do it, the easier it gets. It's a great way to learn how to deal with people and situations that come up that you might otherwise shy away from. You will meet someone new everyday and even just saying- Hi, How are you today?--Gets easier the more you do it. If you work at a really busy place and you end up saying it 50 times a day, it will become second nature and you will catch yourself saying Hi, Hows it going?--even when you aren't at work.
The more people you meet, the more you will enjoy yourself.
And you will be amazed at how many people will open up to you just for that simple word -Hi- or a friendly smile.
If you don't have time to get a part-time job or join a few clubs, Try making a goal that you have to say -Hi- to at least 5 new people a day. Try it, It will get easier the more you do it---

Answer 4

I understand that you've been through a lot and, being an introvert, can find things that others seem to take in their stride somewhat harder.

There's a good possibillity that you can't start talking to people without anxiety. The anxiety doesn't go until you are talking to people and start to feel comfortable in their presence. That doesn't always happen quickly. With some people it never happens. I am still uncomfortable with some people I have known for years.

One trick here is to just accept your anxiety and do what you fear anyway. The anxiety is often worse than the reality.

Anxiety is produced by your bodies flight or fight response. You can begin to controll it by learning to contol your body. Here are a few sites that might help.

http://www.pe2000.com/anx-breathe.htm

http://www.bbc.co.uk/health/conditions/mental_health/disorders_anxiety.shtml

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety

I don't have a solution to your problem. Chances are you just have to work through it, feel bad and feel good later.
Just so I don't come across as too bleak...it gets better. If you don't trust much else, trust that it gets better. I struggled and came out the other side.

Answer 5

There are two kinds of depression-chemical and situational. You are experiencing situational depression.
Luckily, this is not a permanant or deabilitating condition. Ask yourself the following:
Are you unable to function?
Do you sleep or eat more than normal?
Do you have thoughts of suicide?
Do you isolate yourself from your friends?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, go and seek help from a doctor. He can prescribe a short course of anti-depressants to get you through this rough patch.
If you answered no to all these questions then you are more okay then you think. It means you are already adjusting and will continue to adjust to your new situation.
Either way, this is just a temporary setback. You have experienced a lot of changes in a short amount of time and humans naturally become stressed and anxious when they experience change. A lot of young people feel that way upon entering college.
Monitor your situation, and seek help if you need to. Remember, getting help doesn't make you weak. It makes you the kind of person that takes care of themselves and that is a *good* thing.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Read this awesome book "How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie". It is has been a best seller for many decades and will change the way you think.

The thing is people get nervous and anxiety fills them because they put too much pressure on themselves unintentionally. Some shy people are too concerned with what others are thinking of them. And since they badly want to do good, it puts more pressure on them and makes them even more nervous. And the more people are around them, they get even more nervous. But if people start thinking about others instead of themselves then that changes the entire perspective. Instead of thinking about yourself, show a lot of interest in them, BUT this should be done GENUINELY! with a sincere intention of getting to know them without accepting anything back because then that makes people disappointed if they don't receive the level of interest they were accepting. See how Dogs are? they give you all the attention and love you without accepting anything in return. No matter they are loved.

Answer 7

I can relate to you feeling in certain ways. You are younger than me (probably by 10 years or so), but I had a close group of friends and we parted ways when some got married. Sometimes, I see them and it is really uncomfortable for me.

Being in a new area, surrounding yourself with new people should be considered an opportunity to connect with new ideas and a new life.

There is a nice quote from a movie I once saw referring to bad feelings, "This to will pass..."

Good Luck,
Chad

Answer 8

it probly because you are starting something new and its challenging so it puts a lot of stress over you .....sorry