past abuse affecting current relationships?

Question

i have had what people call a hard life. i grew up in an abusive home and it was pretty bad. now whenever my husband gets mad i get really scared hes not the least bit abusive but it scares me anyway and makes me kind of shut down. I also hear voices and see things that aren't there and kind of lose it Any Advice?

yea im on meds and yea i have a doctor but there isnt much for therapy in the town i live in

Answer 1

You really do need some help. Seek out some counselling to help you deal with the ghosts of your past. Abuse, in any form, has devestating and long lasting affects on the individual......You cant just say, well it happened and get on with life normally.....without professional intervention, the abused child is still within you. I worked with abused kids and many forms of mental illnesses affected these people....depression is a mental illness, schitzophrenia is a mental illness as well as bi-polar disorder......mental illnesss does not make a person crazy.....when a child is abused the mind can go into overload and can create all kinds of misconceptions about themselves....some girls who were being sexually abused had the power to distance themselves, so it wasnt really them who was being abused....the mind is an incredible thing and can do all sorts of things to protect you from real harm.....that is why your mind is not behaving the way it should.....it had to find another way to cope with the abuse when you were a child....it had to perform lots of tricks, for you to be able to survive the abuse......You should not feel ashamed, because you need some professional help, you need it, if you are ever going to come to terms with your ghosts.....You would be doing yourself and your husband a huge favour by seeking out some professional help.

Dont think youre crazy, youre not.....your mind is just reacting to years of abuse, it is the abuse that has conditioned your mind to be this way, therefore you do need to seek out some professional help to help your mind to be re-programmed. Think of your brain as being a huge computer....it is only as good as the information it is fed. In your case, the information was all bad, so your brain is not thinking the way it should if it was fed "good" data.....so the bad data has to removed and replaced with good data if your brain (the computer) is going to operate properly.

Take care, I wish you all the very best.

Answer 2

I don't think that you should have gotten into a relationship if you are carrying these past issues with you still. But, it is too late for that.

You may be going through some anxiety attacks by hearing the voices, seeing things etc....and that is caused by past abusive relationships. This will take some time to heal and time to get back that trust to feel safe again. You also need to let your husband know what you are going through when the two of you have some misunderstandings in the home. Just don't use this as an excuse for doing wrong, because you can make it right.

You can do something about this, but you have to be willing to make that effort to want to change on how you see things now. Of course you will not forget the past, but you can replace it by something good. Like being with your husband holding his hand, going for a walk, find something that you like doing as a hobby, take a warm bath, listen to some soft music etc....just to get your mind off the bad things. Don't let this get out of control to which it will affect your marriage, it wouldn't be fair to your husband.

I have heard that counseling doesn't work, or works for some people, but you may want to consider on reading this great book called, "Bad Childhood, Good Life" by Dr. Laura Schlessinger. It is a good book and you will get so much out of it and start living the way you want to live. I challenge you to read it, it will help you and it will also let you have that marriage you always wanted. Importantly, pray to God to give you strength and the peace that you need.

Answer 3

My dad used be over the top with punishment. When I hear someone reacting loudly with anger I get a rush of fear too and I'm 50. It's actually a mild case of post traumatic distress syndrome.

Abuse has a long reaching impact on people. It can be triggered at any time. Many people don't realize that you can hear voices at times of extreme depression or stress. Many just think schizophrenia and are afraid to admit it.

This is serious stuff. Please don't try to go it alone. I strongly recommend you see an counselor/ therapist. They will probably screen you for depression and other issues and refer you to a psychiatrist if need be.

Answer 4

Get some counseling, I also grew up in a abusive home but I've also been in a abusive relationship.You gotta deal with most of that stuff in you before you can deal with the consequences. Confront your abuser, talk to GOD, and ask yourself if you're gonna continue to let that person control your life and your happiness. It's not an overnight thing. Plus talk to your husband tell him what his yelling does to you. I just got married 3 days ago and I'm also still dealing with things from my past- it helps to have your loved one holding your hand through this recovery.

Answer 5

Well you deserve to have a happy,secure life. I would suggest talking to your husband, a friend, a pastor, a therapist. You may also want to seek help from a healthcare professional if you are interested in trying medication therapies. Good luck.

Answer 6

Yeah, You need the LORD in your life.Theres such things as demon spirits and thats probably what youre hearing and seeing.You also need to understand there is such a thing as healthy anger, for instance of someone tried to hurt you, your husband would probably go off on them big time.It seems he has proven he is able to keep his anger under control for you never mentioned any abuse,verbal,mental, or physical.Talk to a pastor soemtime, united penteocstal pastors have had experiences wit things like yours, and a lot of people have come from the same kind of background and GOD has done mircales in their lives.Drugs (prescription or not)will not solve the problem, they only treat the symptom.

Answer 7

changing one's habit is perplexing in case you attempt to do it multi functional day. start up with small adjustments, including a objective of no longer staring at receipts for a week or 2 at a time and then upload yet another merchandise, till you end invading his privateness all jointly. once you're doing that permit him comprehend which you're working in this and permit him comprehend how dedicated you're approximately changing this habit and that i'm effective he would be very supportive and relieved! every time you relapse, remind your self of how plenty he loves you and you like him. practice keeping your lack of self assurance to your self as nicely, using fact it ought to on no account pass away thoroughly, whether it is your situation and doubtless no longer his situation. In time you will experience shield...only takes practice.

Answer 8

Yes. Stop making your husband mad. And seek a counselor for the voices.

Answer 9

Definately get professional help.

Answer 10

See a shrink, get on meds.