why cant I fall in love with the most perfect guy. I thought I was in love with him for the 1st 3 months of our relationship and then boom 1 morning I woke up and thought "what if i dont love him anymore" he is a great guy, genuine,honest,sincere,trustwo... worker,would be a great father, etc etc. So why are my feelings the way they are now?
I still want to spend time with him and I enjoy talking with him etc but why dont I feel the love for him that I felt for all of my dramatic loser ex -bf's.This is my first non-dramatic relationship!
Why cant I fall in love with the most perfect guy in the world? He would do anything for me. I wanted so bad to be with him and now that I got what I wanted I feel as though I am pushing him away when he speaks about long term?!??! Can I make myself love him again or was it just infatuation and thats it.How can I tell if thats all it was?
I will be heartbroken if thats what it came down to. Finally a good guy and I have to let him go:(
Is this all because I dont know what real love feels like. With my ex bf's I dont think we ever got over the infatuation period cause it was so dramatic with cheating and lies.
I still love hanging out with him and we laugh and joke about anything and I feel content with just staying home and watching tv together or what not?!?!?
Any suggestions?
2007-03-14 11:20:14 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Don't worry about whether or not it's love. Put that question out of your mind and just enjoy spending time with him. If things work out, your attachment will grow over time. If you start worrying about not loving him, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Three months is a bit early to talk about long term plans, in my opinion. When he brings it up, you could tell him you really care about him and want to stay together, but you're not ready to talk about long term plans yet.
2007-03-14 11:27:38 · answer #1 · answered by rainfingers 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may not be that you don't love him. It may be that your love has reached a different level. It is a fact that after a certain amount of time (which varies from couple to couple, person to person), you will move away from the passionate, "lustful," infatuation-type love and into a sense of comfort and stability--a new type of love, but love nonetheless.
I have been where you are. After several months with my fiance, I started to wonder if what I had felt was merely infatuation because the fire was gone, and all I wanted to do was hang out watching TV and joking around with him (which is what you said in your final paragraph). However, when I thought about it, I realized that I couldn't imagine life without him, nor did I want to try! It's a new kind of love, and a pretty darn good one, trust me. Stick with it, you'll figure it out.
Good luck!
2007-03-14 11:25:17 · answer #2 · answered by Esma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetheart it is very NORMAL for girls to fall for the bad boys and not the "perfect" ones. It's exciting eventhough it doesn't last. You didn't say how old you are, so I'm assuming you're still young. Don't worry if this guy isn't for you, there will be more. No matter how "perfect" he is, you'll still feel the same way next week, year, etc., and if you really don't love him anymore, break it off. It'll actually hurt him more in the end if you stay and it sounds like you really care for him so I know you wouldn't wanna do that. Good luck.
2007-03-14 11:31:18 · answer #3 · answered by Noname 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you don't know a good thing when you see it!!! Either that or you just love drama and since he is not giving you any you are not interested. I think you need to tell him how you feel because if you don't care for him like he cares for you then it is not right to string him along. Also maybe you really don't need to be in a relationship untill you evaluate what love is to you and what type of person you want to be with. Take some "you" time and figure out what you really want.
2007-03-14 11:26:51 · answer #4 · answered by nainai_797 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be caught up in all the drama from the former bf, is very seductive, not healthy. Slow down, I think you need some sort of counseling, you seem to be all over the map.
2007-03-14 11:27:58 · answer #5 · answered by Sandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im not sure...maybe it was just a temporary crush..or hes just not your type of boyfriend...maybe hes just meant to be a really good friend of yours. Its probably that you dont want to be in a relationship with a guy who is perfect...someone who has some flaws in him..but is easy to love too
2007-03-14 11:24:15 · answer #6 · answered by desiladki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You like men who are mean to you and dangerous and you have low self-esteem, you should see a therapist, and talk about why you think you are unworthy of such a great guy.
2007-03-14 11:24:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We always want what we can't have. I always like the bad boys. I would like to meet a nice man, but I probably wouln't like him. Sad huh?
2007-03-14 11:27:29 · answer #8 · answered by Teslajuliet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through the same thing hope you get some good answers.
2007-03-14 11:25:28 · answer #9 · answered by tarakootenay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drama is all you know. Maybe it's what you need.
2007-03-14 11:24:49 · answer #10 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋