Okay some women in my family live by the saying "date for fun but marry for money if you want a happy life.The other women go by what my moms said which is to marry for love but to look for someone at our class level (upper middle class) and it would not kill anyone if you went for higher up.I am very confused and fear that i may have gotten engaged to my bf of 3 yrs for the wrong reasons?Many of the reasons i like my bf are finacially based and i think i love or like him as a good friend .The reasons i dated him was because i new he was smart so he had potiental, his family had money, and he would take care of in a serious relationship.I feel like maybe i am not in love with him as much as what he has to offer?
2007-03-14 11:14:19 · 8 answers · asked by Amelia R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am supposed to be getting married next month (april) and i am not even excited?
2007-03-14 11:18:08 · update #1
First off most people would disagree with me, but there are things that are more important. You sound like you love him but you are not in love with him. If he loves you and he will be good to you and take care of you and you both respect each other than there is nothing better. If everything goes well you will grow to be in love with him. I know from personal experience, I was treated poorly by a lot of guys who I thought I cared a great deal about. Then I met my husband he was so different he didnt make my teeth sweat so too speak, but he was a good man. In the years following our marriage I can tell you I have grown to be in love with him. I couldnt be more in love. He has been good to me treated me well. Loved and respected me. I am sooo happy. We have now been married eighteen years. You can build on what you have so dont give up. I hope you too can grow to love this man and know what total happiness is.
2007-03-14 11:26:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Some people believe that it is better to marry someone for the more practical reasons, like because they would be a good provider. They beleive that love will grow the longer you are together.
On the other hand, sometimes when people get married because they are "so in love," and they don't think about the practical stuff - the love ends up fading. Then you are stuck in an impractical, loveless marriage.
2007-03-14 18:27:20 · answer #2 · answered by Shawn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to answer your question. Do you feel that financial security, money, etc are important and necessary in your life, for you? Personally, I'm more attracted to a hard worker who has skills and can hold down a job....at least I know he's dependable, hard working etc. That's more important than how much money is in the bank. Also, I can damn well go out and earn my own money if it's that important. So focus on all the other stuff....like interests, goals, compatability....are you just getting cold feet, or are you just now realizing that you have no idea what YOU want?
2007-03-14 18:23:59 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
number 1 your family is shallow!! number 2 you would be considered a gold digger!
BUT what happens if he sumhow loses his money then you'll be stuck in a marriage with sumone you only liked because of $$. You will be miserable! You should marry because you want too and love that person you are vowing to spend the rest of your life with "in richer and in poorer" I feel bad for you because even though you posted this question you aren't going to change anything you will get married to please your family and everyone else. You need to realize this is your life and the saying is true money can't buy happiness. good luck
2007-03-14 18:56:47 · answer #4 · answered by tweedy778 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guess you have a big decision to make then. Do you want to live your life with someone you aren't in love with? I don't know if money is worth all that? I don't know if I could do that. But hey some women can and do and are okay with that.
So its up to you, good luck!!
PS... I am getting married next month too!
2007-03-14 18:21:46 · answer #5 · answered by Orleanslady 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought that he dated someone before with financial needs,
whereas the girl that he has met had no problems before
with finances
she was just lonely and looking for love!
Women tend to think the same about men,
maybe he doesn't want me for love,
maybe he just saw in me a good housewive potential,
and a mother potential,
maybe his life wasn't fulfilled before,
and he just wants you to be a mother of his child.
Very smart thinking!
2007-03-14 18:33:36 · answer #6 · answered by AnnaP. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only marry for love, break it off now, unless you think its could be last minute jitters, it could be that you do love this succesful man, and you know love is a decison, it's not about feeling all 'school -girlish and silly'- trust me love doesn't have to be poverty laden, but--if you are sure you don't love him at all do not marry him.
2007-03-14 18:28:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to postpone it until you KNOW you are doing the right thing. Do not let anyone pressure you into this marriage.
2007-03-14 18:23:24 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋