My husband of 20 years is so wonderful and we get along 100%. He is a kind and GENROUS lover, very gentle with me, yet strong as a bear. He was 16 years military and has been out since 2000. He seems sooooo perfect in each and everyway BUT he cannot seem to hold a job now that he is out of the service for more than 8 or 9 months- and thats the LONGEST one- the average lasts about 3 or 4 months. This is really starting to hurt our family. I normally work but I just had major back and hip surgery and cannot work and work comp. still has not paid me and I hired an attorney- that was 3 months ago. My husband just quit yet another job knowing its impossible for me to save us in anmy way at all! Things are getting so tight I may have to sell my car just to keep our home. Ive tried in vain talking to him about how I feel and all I get is Im sorry- I know- Im a lousy husband! I NEVER SAID THAT! I cry all the time- worried sick for our family and that doesnt even to affect him HELP
2007-03-14 10:20:27 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Eventhough your worried he is 10 times more worried. Men are like that. You have to understand that he was in the military for 16 years and no job is anything like it. He is trying to look for something that is the same and he isnt going to find it. Its hard to explain, im in the military and I know what its like. Its hard for him because the military is very strict and has several different aspects than a normal job. And working with "civilians" is more different than working with other soldiers. There is a huge bond in the military. He is just not finding that but im sure he is doing the best he can and trying to bear jobs to support you. Talk to him and show him that you understand but make him see that he needs to just suck it up and hold down anything until your financial situation gets better. Hope that helps.
2007-03-14 10:29:24 · answer #1 · answered by Worried wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is all that discipline the military is supposed to be teaching? Doesn't sound like he really cares for anyone but himself. I bet he finds away to have anything he might want, even if you guys can't really afford it. Sounds to me that you need to kick him to the curb, if he isn't contributing faithfully then he is a drain. There will be more help to a single mother, with a deadbeat husband and father. Than a married woman with the same. You are living single, with married duties. He won't change, don't get your hopes up that he will, that military thing is just an excuse, a crutch. Watch his behavior, and you will see exactly what I mean. The best thing to do is divorce him before it's too late, that will save your family. I mean he is already gone, if he won't stick with a job, right?
2007-03-14 10:46:57 · answer #2 · answered by darkpoet3000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both need counseling, try social services (free), or even a church. I think your hubby might have Post Traumatic Stress, The guys do not like to admit this, so be gentle, there is help available. the jobless thing, while it seems the most important to you, is a symptom, not the cause. Good luck dear, I am going to pray for y'all.
2007-03-14 10:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hits hard on a man's ego to be in a power position (in the army) and then have to take menial jobs. He probaly is used to giving orders and no taking orders and that's why he doesn't seem to keep a job.
Does he qualify for unemployment? You may qualify for food stamps while getting back on your feet.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation.
Maybe a career in sales would be an apropiate alternative.
Good luck
2007-03-14 10:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call the lawyer and speak to the state Workman's reimbursement dept. tell the two certainly one of them what is going on with you and which you choose the money to stay to tell the tale. 3 months is an prolonged time to have a criminal professional without solutions. you have been the two harm on the job or no longer. did the state pay for you surgical technique? discover out the place you're at. you additionally could make those telephone calls from mattress and be professional energetic in looking what the states involvement is and whilst they are going to pay. they are able to`t only leave you fabulous accessible without seen potential of help in case you have been harm on the job./
2016-11-25 20:21:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow. Umm, is there anyone that can help your husband find a job?
Is there anyone that can help you a little bit with your financial problems?
Just stay strong, be strong, dont give up and just be there for each other becuz it is a hard time for you guys.
You guys will find a way.
2007-03-14 11:17:35 · answer #6 · answered by Happily Married 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has to find his place in the world, stop trying to push him and make him think he's a bad husband. Everyone has to find what they do best and what it is they enjoy doing. He will find his place, be patient. Also, suggest truck driving, with a Class A CDL you can ALWAYS find a job quickly! Good luck
2007-03-14 10:32:49 · answer #7 · answered by Steel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What did you think the military was going to do, something good. The military screws a person up! You have to be such a robot and put up with so much garbage you loose yourself. Tell him to go to the VA office and get mental help.
2007-03-14 10:30:42 · answer #8 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It was time for him to step up and he failed. Tell him in no uncertain terms that he better get a job and help support the family, or you would consider leaving him. Be prepared to do it. Worrying sick is not worth it. You need support, not a robo-leech.
2007-03-14 10:25:23 · answer #9 · answered by Big Momma Carnivore 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
What does he want to do? post a resume on monster jobs.com
With his military career, he should go far in law enforcement, executive security?
2007-03-14 10:27:12 · answer #10 · answered by walker9842 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋