My wife's five month pregnant and i think shes cheating on me?

Question

we have only been married two years but we already have two children together and she’s pregnant again. I would never normally suspect anything like this because she would normally never do anything like this to me but recently her ex boyfriend came back into her life he was her childhood sweetheart and they were together for five years before they finally broke up. She spends every day with him while im at work and they seem to always be together and since he walked back into her life she always seems to be withdrawn and she’s gotten to the point now where she wont even hug me. I did confront her about it but she said she wouldn’t do that to me i didn’t really want to pry into it anymore because she’s pregnant and I don’t want to put any unnecessary u stress on her. Am I just being paranoid and if she is cheating what should I do? I really don’t think I would be able to leave her

Answer 1

If you aren't comfortable with her relationship with him then tell her - I know I sure wouldn't put up with that!! Maybe nothing is going on - yet!!

Answer 2

Confronting her may not have been the best way to approach the subject. Even when people haven't done anything wrong they become defencive about being confronted. I would try a different tact. Try asking how she is feeling, if there is something bothering her and let her know that you want to be there for her. Also show an interest in what she is doing with him, ask her about her day (though make sure it's casual and not an interrogation). Another thing is to tell her how you are feeling and that you noticed that she has been withdrawn lately and you are worried about her.

The only way to know for sure if she is cheating is to either catch her in the act, which might not be difficult if they are together every day, or she tells you directly which isn't very likely. Take a sick day from work and double back and follow her. It sounds very cloak and dagger but if you really want to know... but I'd try the talking first.

Answer 3

I think shes cheating...how old are u (how old iz she??)...iz he nice looking..if he iz..u might be feeling a little jealous about him being guud looking...
If she is cheating then u need to fing some of your OLD gf and find out whats going on in there life and if u could hang out sometimes...(u dont have to cheat) just kind of make her jealous (unless u want to cheat)..u wont even have to make her jealous because she will get jealous (jealousy may sound childish and not a good plan but it always works out if u know what i doing) I`ve had this problem befor ... I didnt cheat but I started hanging with his brother (which seems really wrong lol) and it worked out...he ended up telling be He was cheating and he said he "knew" i was cheating 2...(when I wasnt) I ended up telling him how I really wasnt cheating and I knew he was cheating....this always works out...she says she`d never do A thing like this to u because she never would purposely...love isnt always what u want from someone...sometimes it just happens....just try hanging with some old friends (girl friends) or some guy friends and go to the club and make her think your actually going with a lady...ok ok...but if she iz cheating it would really be stupid because shes 5mounths preagnant...hope I can help

Answer 4

You have picked up on some very curious signs, my friend. If she has suddenly become withdrawn that's a bad sign. From what you describe, I think she's cheating too. She lied about it, because she's afraid. She may think she still loves you and she may be afraid of losing you, or it could be that she is afraid that she will lose the roof you help provide for her head (and the heads of her [maybe your] children). It could be that she loves him, but would never expect him to care for children that aren't his (assuming they are all yours).

So what's the point? She's probably cheating, but afraid of the consequences. You've mentioned that you don't think you would be able to leave her. It's time to grow a backbone. If you really want her then confront her. She's not going to miscarry because you give her a dose of reality. She is doing this to you because you are allowing it. Tell her what you think is going on, ask her to stop all contact with this man because it hurts you. Probe and learn before you acuse, but do let her know what you are thinking. Let her know how seriously you take this. Ask her if she wants to stay. If she does ask her to join you in counseling to fix the issues. If she says that she is going to leave you, then it's because you had already lost her to him. If she dislodges her brain from her nether regions and begins using it again, then she'll stay with the man with whom she had built a home. The not knowing is going to kill you, and she is losing respect for you, because you're allowing it with your hands off approach. Tough love, my brother, but it's time for some.

I hope you two can work this out, marriages are worth saving, but the hands off approach doesn't work (the mistake I made).

Answer 5

It might be paranoia, might be that there is something going on, might be that something might happen.
Do you notice something? They are all just possibilities. The reality is this, the two of you are married, husband and wife. She is pregnant, as you said, so her hormones could "possibly" be telling her things...to do, say, feel. It is a very sensitive time...You are right in feeling that you dont want to add on to the stress.
However, the two of you are supposed to best friends, be able to communicate. I don't know how the relationship is between the two of you, neither that between her and her ex. This much is clear...YOU are stressed, and apparently incredibly worried, that is definetely enough reason to bring it to your pregnant wife's attention.
How about taking a day off and cooking for her, and connecting. Tell her how much she means to you, and that she doesn't need to ever be afraid to share, her feelings, ideas, desires. Then listen intently, and let her know how you have been feeling...let her know that this might be purely jealousy (if that is just what it is, primarily), however you need to know, and that you will trust what ever she tells you. Remember, you have to prepare yourself for her answer, or lack of one. Maybe you can even ask her to not see the ex as often...since this really makes you uncomfortable, and you need some time to adjust. Just be sincere, and loving, dont show her that you have already judged her and try to be as honest as possible. You know your wife better than any of us do.
Just keep in mind, she might just miss the attention...remind her that yours is the one that she longs for...not overly you, just you. Her husband, the man who loves her and will always love her.

Answer 6

You need to be a little bit tougher....she may be pregnant, but she is your wife and you are her husband. It is unacceptable that she is spending everyday with her childhood sweetheart....it would make the most secure person wonder. I am pretty secure, but I know I couldnt handle my husband spending every day with another woman.....she doesnt hug you, she is withdrawn, and while she may not be physically cheating on you....her mind is certainly not on you. This man needs to withdraw himself from your lives....If she wants to stay in contact with him, then he comes around when you are there. Her loyalty should lie with you, not him. You need to sit her down and tell her that you dont like her spending every day with this other man.....tell her it is upsetting you and causing you to have doubts about her fidelity....tell her, its either him or you......find out where her loyalites really lie. She cant use pregnancy as an excuse to do anything she wishes. What she is doing is totally unfair to you, pregnant or not....she needs to decide who she wants to be with....you cant live like this. You dont have to leave her, you just have to expect more loyalty from her, thats all......if she refuses to give you her loyalty, then I think it's pretty obvious that she isnt in love with you anymore.

I hope it works out the way you want it to. Dont let pregnancy be the reason she walks all over you.

Answer 7

You mentioned that you trusted her. I think you need to get back to that the trust is essential, the foundation in your relationship. That said unless you have concrete proof hold back on the confrontations. She may be withdrawing from you because you have withdrawn from her with the anxiety of her ex-boyfriend hanging around so much. Talk to her about how you feel not so much on what you think she might be doing wrong open up more healthy communication. Stop worrying about the what ifs they will drive you crazy.

Answer 8

Here is what you should do: Take a half day off of work without telling her you are doing it. Drive by your house several times, if he is there, walk into the house like you just got off of work, if she is guilty, they will probably be doing something she shouldn't be doing in the first place. If they are just sitting have conversation and not sitting close to each other,than you really don't have a problem.

Answer 9

Take the pregnancy out of it: SHE IS CHEATING ON YOU. It may not be sexual, but it sure the heck is emotional. Spending every day with him while you are at work is wrong. She needs to stop that. She is making you paranoid and making you not trust her. Your feelings are real. What she is doing is wrong. Talk to her and tell her to stop. Don't hold back.

Answer 10

Well if you don't think that you could leave her then you should find a way to not let this situation bother you. Tell her if you do not like her having a relationship with her ex. Tell her all your feelings then go from there. I guess if you won't leave her then what does it matter if she cheats?

Answer 11

Well im 5 months prego and i dont think that i could cheat. It would be so weird. Anyways you need to pry its the only way to get answers. She will get so anoyed that you keep asking and just tell you.