I'm curious to know what others think. I believe that in-love is just a state of mind we made up. When one says i'm in love in actually they're saying I'm infactuated with(involvement of feelings and emotions) or In lust with that individual. Love is love and there is no in-love stage. To me it's either you love a person or you don't. Love is an action not a feeling, but yoet we get love confused with our emotions and feelings. Love never fails, but our emotions and feelings does, and it will mislead us into making unwise decisions. You can compare saying i'm in love to wind. B/c you never know which direction the wind will blow and the same way with your feelings and emotions(which is like a roller coaster). So ask yourself the next time you use that phrase, "I'm in-love" if it's feelings (emotional attachment), or love (which doesn't involve feelings or emotions).
2007-03-14 09:33:03 · 8 answers · asked by unknown 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Will you still choose to love that person once the infatuation stage wears off and you truly see the person for who they really are?
2007-03-14 09:34:02 · update #1
You got it down! The 4 kinds of love are: Agape (selfless, lay your life down love), Phileo (friendship love), Eros (lust), and storge (familial love). Most of the time when people say they are "in-love" they mean lust. Love IS definately a choice. Otherwise, how could we possibly promise to love one another when we get married? Sometimes when people say they have "fallen out of love", they just mean they are lazy, and don't want to work at the relationship. But if a relationship is going to be sucessful, it is going to take love and commitment. And that is all something that we WILL to do.
2007-03-14 09:45:46 · answer #1 · answered by G.I. Jill 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm with the both of you Unknown and TD. I've been telling people that right after I got out of school and they didn't want to hear it so I feel you on that level.
But you are 100% right. Either you love someone or you don't. And like you said Unknown, when people say they are "in-love" it IS lust and/or infactuation.
I counsel people all the time who say "I'm just not in love with him/her anymore." The sad part is what they're REALLY saying is "Now that we don't have sex 7 days a week, and things are getting a little tough, I realize that I never really loved him/her in the first place." Even sadder is the fact that they don't know that's what they're saying. They actually think they've fallen out of love with someone. They don't realize that they never loved him/her in the first place.
Well, my wife is over my shoulder so I'm going to go now. See ya!
2007-03-14 09:54:53 · answer #2 · answered by Eddie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i believe in love is that infatuation stage or honeymoon stage we experience when we first meet someone, where we see no wrong in them, we accept them unconditionally no matter what, but as the relationship goes on and time passes, we go into another stage where we either decide to stay and love that person in spite of circumstances, or we leave the relationship disenchanted. in love is all about how we feel, loving is about the decision we make to stay in the relationship even if the relationship doesn't always give us exactly what we want when we want it. feelings and emotions can't really be trusted, its just a physical thing. in love is not the same as love, and its not intimate, when someone is in love with another they idealize the other and loves the ideal rather than the real person.its all about the early stages of a relationship, where body chemistry is activated, and each person is attentive, and involved. real love happens when we can act lovingly even if we don't feel loving. falling in love takes place to help ease a persons loneliness, falling in love is the physical attraction, but real love concerns itself with the development of the other, real love grows, falling in love doesn't enlarge the person, they don't grow from this.
2007-03-14 10:07:49 · answer #3 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In love:They are your everything. You eat, sleep and breath them. Loving someone:The feelings of love and care are there, but you can do without them being around so much. They do not hold your focus anymore. But I think it's different for everyone.
2007-03-14 09:53:56 · answer #4 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally agree with you Unknown. I've been telling people that for years. But unfortunately no wants to hear the truth.
2007-03-14 09:45:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is a difference between love and in love. For example, I may love my dog but I am in love with my boyfriend. There are different types of love. You can love someone but not be in love with them. I think infatuation is completely different. It's not even close to love, it's just a euphoric feeling. When you are in love with someone, you love them romantically and you are willing to put your own needs and wants to the side to please that purson. When you are in love with someone you want to make them happy and it becomes less about you.
2007-03-14 09:43:10 · answer #6 · answered by Vivita 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're exactly right.
What makes it worse is when people want to get a divorce or have an affair.because they don't have those "in love feelings".
Get a divorce or have an affair for a real reason!
2007-03-14 09:36:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree, I once had a boyfriend say, " I love you, but I am not in-love with you" that is a crock of ****.
2007-03-14 09:38:26 · answer #8 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋