The essay I am writing has to do with the negative aspects that performance-enhancing drugs in sports. I did write one which was,"Performance_enhancing drugs harm the health of athletes, damage the honesty of sports,and causes cheating: therfore, they should be banned from all sports." But my teacher said It was weak, help I am so confused, does anyone have any idea as to where I can go to help me with my thesis???
2007-03-14 08:55:27 · 7 answers · asked by Ann L 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
You might put a spin on that:
"The need to win at any cost in sports in high school, college, and professionally causes athletes to resort to illegal drug use."
2007-03-14 09:02:11 · answer #1 · answered by fredrick z 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This should be more beneficial concise. you have to be able to make your fact in a million sentence and 2 on condition that really mandatory. also, attempt now to not use the passive voice (the verb to be, basically). action verbs artwork more beneficial useful in an essay. So, instead of exclaiming they 'are egocentric', say some thing like 'Gatsby's and Othello's ego's exemplify their selfishness, as they broke hearts and brought about deaths among their loved ones (basically an get at the same time, nevertheless no longer acceptable). save operating at it and also you'll hit the mark. BTW, I hated the finished Gatsby, and that i had to write down a a number of similar essays about it, so i'm sorry you're dealing with it on the prompt. sturdy success!
2016-12-02 00:18:33 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your teacher said your thesis was weak because it is not specific enough and is not formulated correctly. To make a great thesis statement, on any subject, make sure your argument is specific and show WHY your argument is valid. For instance, you should say, "Performance-enhancing drugs have a negative impact on professional sports BECAUSE they [do this this and this]."
I hope this helps...
2007-03-14 09:13:05 · answer #3 · answered by madeleine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It needs to be simpler.
Thesis:
Performance enhancing drugs are bad for sports.
Supporting statements (topic for each of your 3 body paragraphs)
1. They are hazardous for athletes health.
2. Damages the integirty of sports records.
3. Encourages cheating & dishoest behavior in athletes.
2007-03-14 09:02:36 · answer #4 · answered by Sam Fisher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should try to get in touch with Ben Johnson, who lost his gold medal from the Olympics because of his steroid use. or on the other side of the coin professional wrestlers make a pretty damn good living and I am sure many of them have indulged. The area you have chosen has immense potential....if you apply yourself, I am sure there is also potential for an amazing grade.
2007-03-14 09:06:16 · answer #5 · answered by l00kstwice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your teacher shouldn't have just left that kind of statement 'in the air'. They should have discussed what they felt were the weak points.
Go back and ask and then you'll have an idea of what you can still use in your finished thesis.
2007-03-14 09:08:44 · answer #6 · answered by squigglekit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what my english teacher said. "1 topic sentence, 3 supporting details, and 1 concluding sentence." This is what I would say:
Paragraph 1: Preformance enhancing drugs harm the helth of athletes.Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah.
Paragraph 2: Preformance enhancing drugs damages the honesty of athletes. Blah blah blah. blah blah blah. blah blah blah. blah blah blah.
Paragraph 3: Setroids causes cheating because of blah blah blah. blah blah blah. blah blah blah. blah blah blah. blah blah blah.
Paragraph 4:Steroids should be banned because of blah blah blah. blah blah blah. blah blah blah. blah blah blah. blah blah blah.
Of corse, this was an example, and you need to fill in the "blah blah blah" yourself. I am sure you will get an A if you do this.
2007-03-14 09:10:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋