I'm Scaird!?

Question

So I have been married for a little over 9 years and a good 7 to 8 years whenever my husband and I argure he thretens divorce he has thrown his ring at me or simply leaves it on the kitchen counter he has told me that I am a waste of time that the marriage is a waste of time that he does not care about me or the marriage I have cought him in several lies to me, his work and family on both sides he has also told me that he does not wat to be my friend anymore now he has appoligized everytime he says these things to me and he will be nice for a while and then he get tempramental again and he has diabeties which has effected our sex life he can not get hard enough the last time we had sex was before christmas and he does not kiss me intamently anymore he changes jobs and typically has 2 to 3 different jobs a year. We do not have kids I have asked him in the past to go to counceling and his answer is that we can work thought it ourselfs. He trucks drives and is never home I have only

seen him 6 days out of this year. I do have a job I work for a airline where if he did not have a load he could fly for free but at times he chooses not to. We have grown up and I feel that we have grown apart.

What I am scaird about is divorce I am pretty sure I want one but at the same time I do care for him and I do love him but it is just not the same.

and when he was hom last month we had two arguements and he thretend divorce. I dont feel the greatest about myself and I worry for him if I leave him because I provided him with insurance and he takes so many medicines for diabeties. Am I crazy?

Answer 1

First of all you are suffering from abuse (verbal abuse) and this makes you feel less worthy every time he says anything slightly negative. You need to stand up for yourself. If he refuses counseling then he has made his decision. If you sit him down to have a long chat and he says the same thing you will have to make future decisions on your own. You don't need to worry about him or what he will do about his medications because he certainly is not worrying about your feelings or your welfare at this point. Why not try a trial separation and see if that improves things or helps to make you more comfortable about living alone and moving on. What he says and how he says it is not just your typical marital spat. All the things you wrote that he says (and there is probably plenty more) IS verbal abuse and it is not right that you have to put up with it. Good luck to you and God Bless.

Answer 2

Ok, I did a review of your previous questions, and obviously you have to do something about your situation.

7 months ago you were asking about sex, what feels good, and stuff about anal sex. Now all the sudden you are about to divorce.

For what you said, I take it that you have been trying to figure out how to be more sexually active with your husband, but with no luck. And worse, whenever you see him, is to be fighting.

Well, since you have no kids, things are not as bad. You are afraid of divorce, but in your case, if your side of the story is truth, then maybe your best solution would be to separate from your husband.

To start with, matrimony is based on the fact that the couple loves each other, that is, they take care of each other, understand each other and sacrifice for each other. I don’t see any of those happening here too well. And worse, there is no more sexual contact; in fact, there is no physical contact as you have only seen him 6 days this year.

I’m sorry, but a matrimony is also something that has to be done by two people, not just one, and the other comes see you every 3 months for a day. That is not matrimony.

Is ok if you guys are looking to get more money and work hard for awhile, and maybe he needs to drive away, whatever. But you as a couple must work out a way to stay together, and obviously that hasn’t happened, and I don’t see that happening either.

As far as you know, he might have an affair somewhere else, or many, or just be cheating with whoever around when he is out. Of course, you said he has a condition that might make it almost not possible to be like this as he can’t have sex… but can’t he?

Fighting whenever you see each other and avoiding having a good time, sexual or not, makes your matrimony a lie as of today. Unless you and you r husband sit down and have a serious talk, and listen to each other problems, concerns, etc, and are willing to understand them, and make sacrifices for each other, you are better off signing a divorce paper and be over with it.

But remember, if you do talk, the sacrifices must be mutual, not just you or him. Otherwise it shows a s love from one side, but nothing from the other, and I think that is the case right now. You love him, but I don’t see it being return.

And forget about health insurance and all that. Is his life, so if he knows what is good for him, he will have to look around and get insurance somehow.

Don’t stay in the relation if he doesn’t love you back. Is not worth it, and your life is more important than his, at least, while he is acting like this.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Open a saving account in your name, save any and all extra money you get your hands on. Apply for a credit card in your name. Next time he says he wants a divorce tell him you agree and that youve decided your be needing x amount of money each week until you get to court. While walking to the bedroom to get a suitcase out. Start packing his clothes if he doesnt try to stop you pack them, give him some dishes, pots and pans put his dirty clothes in a trash bug, throw in a coffee pot, some pictures of the kids put them in his car and say bye. Because he hasnt left hes threnting you to get his way, if he wanted to leave he would of. When he says he doesnt want to go tell him your over the threats and the next time he says anything about a divorce you will see a lawyer to grow up.

Answer 4

It must be difficult for him just as it is for you. He might feel insecure, lost faith in his manhood and how you perceive him. He needs more than your help. I know how difficult it is to deal with diabetes and the fits of anger especially when the person in question is on a riot, doesn't eat healthy, exercise, take their medication. I think you should try and talk him into seeking professional help, and the decision is yours, if you want to stay or let go..

These threats, I hope he is not being manipulative and is not abusive, by nature....anyway, looks like it won't be easy...and I sense you feel insecure too, and I hope it isn't his doing, emotional abuse is not always easy to capture and can become devastating, seek help, good luck

Answer 5

I think you have answered your own question here. You seem to be unhappy so i suggest perhaps you need to move on before things do get worse. You don't need to put up with this mental abuse.

Next time he throws his ring at you.. throw yours back and call his bluff. See what happens then.

However i do feel that you would be much happier finding someone who will always love you and mean it. Sorry and good luck

Answer 6

Get yourself on track, and leave. If you are unhappy, every single aspect of your life will suffer for it. You will be miserable and even more so if you wait because you will have wasted time sticking by someone who is that awful to you. If you don't have kids, there really is nothing to lose. Money and objects can be divided and re-gained. Every day you waste with him will be gone forever.

Answer 7

If you work for an airline, you make enough money to take care your basic needs, which would be far better than taking this mentally abusive crap from him. He is acting like a baby.

Tell him if he is that unhappy, you want a divorce.

Answer 8

Why do you keep posting the same question over and over? Did you not like the answers you got the first 18 times you posted it? You time is better spent filing divorce papers.

Answer 9

i fell sad for u i dont think u should divorce him because he will need money for things and the next time u see him he could be dead or a hobo on the street or if your unhappy u could divorce him and send him money :)

Answer 10

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