ok im 18 almost 19 and my girl is 18, she is pregnant now we just found out last week, im involved with a lot of things i shouldnt be and it'll be really hard to get out of, i know i would be a great father, maybe we need to move somewhere and relocate, but im affiliated with gangs, not in one, and i do drugs, i dont want to have a kid live a life style like mine, violence,drugs,etc., i would be the best father i could be and love my baby boy or girl like a father should and live and die for my baby, but im scared she will get involved with my situations, should i have an abortion or relocate, and relocation is a possiblility i have a couple grand saved up,,?? please help me..
2007-03-14 08:52:29 · 14 answers · asked by Will 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
It takes a lot to be a parent. You said yourself you do not want a child of yours to live like you do.
I think that you know the answer to your own question, you just have to decide if you can live with that decision.
A couple of grand does not go very far. A pregnant woman, and a boyfriend detoxing, broke, trying to start over somewhere new. I just don't see it.
I have read your other questions, Will. I do not think that you are capable of being a father right now.
I do not know you, or your girlfriend. You two know yourselves and your situation better than anyone. So sit down together and have a very logical and realistic conversation. sometimes the truth sucks ***.
I am not trying to be mean or harsh, just factual.
Whatever you two decide to do, i wish the both of you the best of luck.
2007-03-14 10:22:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ok. Wow. First let me start with the obvious question- what does your girlfriend want? I can't imagine that this decision is based off of you alone?
Having a child can be wonderful- even when you are young. I had my child at age 16 and I am more successful and happier than tons of people my age- even with a child. I think it's all in how you look at life- you are never given anything too large to handle. But that is the question- how do you handle it? If you feel that your lifestyle can't be changed in the nine months that you have before your baby is born then adoption should be a serious option for you both. Do some reading on adoptions though- giving a child up for adoption means you have to grieve for the loss of a child that is still alive.
Now, abortion? This is a very personal decision. Regardless of what other people think or say, it's a decision you and your girlfriend can only make for yourselves. Nobody else knows your entire situation or your emotions.
Finally, relocation. This sounds like a fantastic idea- try to go somewhere that you have healthy friends and family that can help you with caring for the baby and maybe some daycare until you both can get jobs? It would be best if you can move prior to the baby being born- but I understand that a move takes time.
MOST IMPORTANTLY: If you decide to raise this baby- you need to make sure you are making good healthy decisions and considering the impact it will have on other people beside's yourself from today forward. I know it's hard but you can do it!
2007-03-14 09:07:47 · answer #2 · answered by Nickster 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well, the first thing you need to do is get your life in order. If you are affiliated with gangs and do drugs then your children will follow in your footsteps if (god help it) CPS doesn't find out and then they will take the kid from you. Adoption is a much better solution than abortion as you can help so many people out there who can't have children and would provide for this child the life that you may not be able to due to your young age!
2007-03-14 09:41:56 · answer #3 · answered by Mom to Foster Children 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Im adopted and my mother was severly addicted to cocaine and had 4 kids she couldn't take care of. But first let me give credit where credit is due its so great of you to consider relocating for the benefit of your child and thats a big step in the direction of good parenting but also you have to realize that as a couple you have to look at what your girlfriend wants and in the long run the decision she makes will be up to her if she does wants adoption and you dont her opinion is ultimately the one that will make the difference as she is the one having the baby she doesn't need you consent or permission to have or give up that baby and you need to understand that but at the same time you need to sit down with her and talk and make a decision together and if in the what she wants still differs from yours you need to respect her enough to let her make trhe decison she feels is right for her
2007-03-14 12:25:50 · answer #4 · answered by Bri 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am adopted.Please if you cant handle a child right now,let the baby be born and put it up for adoption.So many couples want kids of their own and can't have them.My birthmother was 15 when she had me.She made the right choice,I have wonderful parents and have and have has a wonderful life,with more love than somtimes I could and can stand.Its the perfect choice.
2007-03-14 09:41:26 · answer #5 · answered by jill@doodle 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That's a very personal question for you to decide. In my opinion, I think you need to have the baby, put it up for adoption and go on with your life. There is always someone out there desperately wanting a baby, but cannot conceive, someone who could provide a safe home for your child is important.
2007-03-14 16:36:51 · answer #6 · answered by soggybottomscout_25 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my advice is that you relocate cuz you dont want to bring a child into that kind of situation. If you get an adoption, you might regret it and your child wont like that either.Im not adopted but I have a step dad and i wish I had a real dad and it eats me alive everyday not knowing what its like to hav the love from my real dad. good luck
2007-03-14 14:03:04 · answer #7 · answered by jkeys00 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I would say relocate.....not only will you be helping your child but you will also be helping yourself. It sounds as though you are traveling down a road that is only going to lead to trouble and you need to remove yourself from it.
2007-03-14 09:02:05 · answer #8 · answered by mom2ace 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that should be decided between you and your girlfriend is she willing to relocate? but yes if you wanna be a dad you should get away from all that mess. get help its good that you want to be a good dad, but this is really up to the mother
2007-03-14 08:59:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
relocate..... lose the gangs and drugs and be the best father u can be...... good luck and God bless.....
2007-03-14 09:25:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋