Why are people so mean?

Question

I can ask a simple question and you have stupid, ignorant people online that will say the meanest things. This is suppose to be a pleasant experience for people that dont know that want to ask others their advice that might be too ashamed or imbarrased to ask someone face to face, but I guess thats impossible huh? Why must people say the dumbest things. I can be having a good day....along comes stupid saying something that downs my spirit. Although I dont care what others say half the time, have you ever heard of " If you cant say something nice, dont say anything at all". What happened to that phrase? Just went out the window I guess along with kindness and respect. But I know its gonna be some a**hole thats gonna reply to this message and say something mean. I respect myself and if you respect yourself you would not comment to my question so negative. Thankx

Answer 1

There are so many reasons...immaturity, selfishness, insecurity, anger, or ignorance (which often goes with the other four).

It's best to acknowledge these people are out there, but don't let them get to you. In fact, you might even feel bad for them, because they are so insecure or clueless. I wouldn't want to be in their shoes. You've got to be in a pretty low place to be purposely mean to another person.

I hope they get out of that place.

Answer 2

You may want to see the Wikipedia article on flame war - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flame_war

especially this part on the causes of flaming:

1. Egocentrism causes us to think we know a writer's tone 90% of the time, although we only are correct about 56% of the time. This leads us to misinterpretation of the writer's intended meaning, causing flame wars.

2. The lack of body language and voice inflection make it difficult to show emotions in a nuanced way, and the relative anonymity means that it is felt less dangerous to use heated language.

3. In forums and chats, there is usually no other way to express your opinion than by writing. Not writing can be interpreted as "giving up". And opinions and ideas stated a long time ago can be forgotten, causing a need to repeat them. According to this view, a good system for Computer Supported Argument Visualisation (CSAV) might help to clarify the issues without repetition. Sometimes, however, there is a disagreement on so fundamental criteria, that it is not even possible to agree on a structure of the issues and arguments.

4. It is reasonable to consider that some forms of flaming can be attributed to deeper social or psychological weaknesses, probably from lack of exposure to a broader spectrum of disciplines that result in self-control issues.

Answer 3

Interesting question, just some people's human nature.
People are most likely mean to others simply because they get pleasure out of it, and like to see other people become angry or sad. It makes them feel tougher and more important perhaps. By definition, someone's human nature can not be changed easily. I agree with the "If you can't say anything nice, dont say it at all"
It's a question to think about...

Answer 4

I believe that people are mean for a variety of reasons. Some may think they are being funny, some are trying to "fit in" (the ones that are mean in a crowd situation), some are trying to tear others down to make themselves feel better (always a sign of insecurity), and some folks are just naturally nasty. Just don't take it personally, and don't expect it. What you think about is pretty much what you get, so think that people will be nice, and they will.

Answer 5

Well for me, people that don't bother to do research into their own problems first before coming here are just lazy and wanting everyone to do everything for them. 99.9% of the questions I see on here I can answer in 2 seconds by doing a google search, and so can they. If you have a genuine question that you absolutely cannot figure out on your own, as long as it's not HOMEWORK, people generally respond accordingly. Stupid questions like "He beats me, what should I do?" are best resolved with a stupid answer.

Answer 6

Ya!! Some people are terrible! It's so upseting sometimes too....I think that they just say it to make themselves feel better when they are having a really bad day or life... I wish they would get over it, ya know! The world would be so much better without every one blaming their problems on other people. Hope no one sends a bad e-mail to you....And don't worry about it either, they're just jerks!

Answer 7

I think its the right decision to ignore the mean comments. Mean comments are designed to hurt, but if you dont focus on them, then they cease to exist. You are doing the best thing possible by ignoring it, if you reacted the same way as they did, you would just be strengthening their narrow perspectives. Id feel sorry for them, seriously.

Answer 8

Why do you assume it's supposed to be pleasant?

Truth is, there are a lot of ignorant people who ask ignorant questions, and some folks get tired of it.

Also, I suspect that you are confusing some of the "mean" things with truth, which is always a mistake. Truth is truth, you can't categorize it.

Answer 9

Sometimes I find myself answering questions sarcastically... but, if the question is sincere my answer is too. I guess it is because so few questions here seem sincere??? If I ever wrote something in reply to a question of yours (don't think I have) that offended or annoyed you, I apologize.

Answer 10

Some people just like to be mean for different reasons to make them seem big and bad, to look cool, to hurt your feelings, to take their problems out on you, and sometimes people just do it to be bratz & its good that you respect your self just ignore those rude people!!!