How can I make my 11 yrs old daughter learn to sign ?

Question

My daughter has learned how to sign language since she was a baby.. stopped immediately after she was about 5 yrs old and refused to learn them to communicate with me, I have hard time understanding what shes trying to say, she understood me perfectly clear. ( I am a deaf parent ) Never gave me a reason why she refused to learn or use the signs she knew. I need to communicate with her and be able to understand what shes saying at all times, to make everything so much easier.. How can I motivate her?( I have tried to make a game out of it, she still wouldnt.. ) How embarrassing is it for my mother to intrepret for me what shes saying.. She is MY daughter. She doesnt even look at me and talk.she looks around or away , when shes facing me her eyes wanders.. I felt as if shes not really wanting to repeat herself to me. But I know she wants me to understand her. I talk with my voice and sign to her, she knows what I said when I sign without my voice. SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!!

Answer 1

Hi, sorry to hear about your frustration with your daughter. Seems like she stopped signing at 5 years old because you use your voice with her so often.

You have to use signs with her 24/7 and not use voice, so she understands. Have you ever tried sending her to sign language classes?

I am Deaf, and my son is 6. When he got lazy around age 4, I just pretend I can't understand him at all, until he used his hands again. Then when he used his hands to sign again, I praised him a lot, took him to favorite restaurant, movies, etc.

You will have a hard time though because 6 years have slipped by and become a tough habit for you to break. But it can be done!

Have you asked her why she won't sign? What does she say and what is her reason(s)? That is a good start to find out also.

But since she stopped a long time ago at age 5, sounds like she got lazy with it, and you let it slide. Not trying to be mean, not at all! Just being blunt, like a lot of Deafies are.

Do you take your daughter to Deaf events? Have Deaf friends that come around? Are there any Deaf children around her age that perhaps you could babysit and she could play with? This would show her that other people need sign language too, no matter if they are Mommy or not!

I hope you can solve this with her with some of these things to think about, and see how it goes. Maybe even a therapist can figure it out for you two, if she doesn't seem to know.

But she DOES need to know that it's important to you that you understand her as she is your own daughter, and that it hurts you deeply when she forces you to try and read her lips. NOT FAIR at all, especially from your own daughter!

You will need to have open communication with her, especially as she will be teenager soon. Hope you can get over this hump and make the bad habit a good one! Remember it will not happen over night, but if you two keep working on it everyday, it will get easier and easier.

Good luck!

Answer 2

this could also reflect on her age... she is 11 and growing up, maybe she sees how all her friends are able to communicate faster, she might be embarrased..have you asked how she feels?... try and not to get frustrated, if you do then it jsut might show her less interest in learning again. Again ask her how she feels and why she stopped in the first place..let her know you want to be able to talk with her and this is the only way you guys can communicate...also give ideas of writing each ohter notes, emails... from time to time ? have you tried seeking counseling ? if it persist consider going through that route...Im sure there is something out there for you guys to be better in communication again =) good luck.. and for now don't be too hard on her ...let her come around it

Answer 3

Honestly, the behavior description you give sounds like my autistic son. That doesn't mean I think she's autistic. But maybe you need to take her to a therapist so you can determine what might be going on.

If she's okay, tell Mom not to interpret anything when she is asking you for a favor; she may have learned to depend on those translations so she doesn't have to deal with your deafness, or it could be simple laziness. If she finds out she must sign to get what she wants, she'll start doing it.

Answer 4

It appears perhaps she's being teased, at school or neighbor kids, about using sign language and now she's embarressed (because of peer pressure) It's very unfortunate she's allowed outsiders to lead her in a different direction.
Maybe, what you should do is invite her friends over and teach them some sign language - then she'll step up and 'shine' again.

Answer 5

She obviously understands you and knows how to sign herself. I think it is time you sit down with her and discuss the difficulties you are having. It sounds like she is rebelling against the Deaf for some reason... most likely bullying, etc.

Answer 6

Maybe she is getting bullied at school for having a deaf parent and she is pretending to herself you are not. I know it is probably embarassing for you as your mother has to interfer in your personal conversations with your daughter.
As she gets older she will understand it's not your fault you are deaf and learn to accept it.

Answer 7

teach her names of thing she likes.
candy
ice cream
barbie doll


you could dress dolls with her ( 5 year olds like that kind of stuff i guess) and teach her the names of the different clothes and parts of the doll, arms legs, hair,
you could also cook with her
make cookeis and teach her how to sign the ingredients
make it an interactive learning game, sitting there just having to memorize is soooooo boring

Answer 8

you should see if you can get your mother to talk to her about it. or find who she looks up to most and that might motivate get her to to begin signing again for you. as far as why shes doin this i think she might just be upset that she cant talk to her own mother. it must be devistating and hard. not being able to speak to your mother and tell her whats goin on in skool.

Answer 9

,maybe she needs to meet some other girls or kids her age with deaf parents. so that she doesnt feel alone or like an outsider

Answer 10

If she refuses to learn, just try to read her lips. Ask her to speak slowly. Or just learn how to and get better and that's how you can read lips faster.