My husband is not very affectionate. He says it's the female's responsibility to be affectionate. How do I get him to be more affectionate?
2007-03-14 08:23:38 · 13 answers · asked by Lucci 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You can't "get him" to "be" anything.
He is what he is and he won't be changing for anyone, not even you. Sad but true. Affection is one of those "hard-wired" things - you either have it or you don't. There's no stapling it on. Why did you marry him knowing full well he was not affectionate if you so desire that affection?
Plus both men AND women run the spectrum of being affectionate, moderate, aloof, and frigid. Lack of affection is not the sole domain of men. Plenty of women are cold fish, too.
2007-03-14 09:08:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all goes back to how their mothers treated them: if they weren't affectionate, chance are they will either do the same or be overly affectionate to prove they can be. If their mothers were affectionate, chances are they will be b/c they know how women are and what they want. If you want him to be affectionate, ask him for help, men absolute love when women need thei help.
2007-03-14 15:29:58 · answer #2 · answered by Heather L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't "make" him. Lead by example, and he might learn some new things - but don't expect him to change significantly. Different people are different in many ways, including the level of affection they're willing to give or tolerate. My husband and I are on the less-affectionate part of the spectrum, and our needs for affection seem to match closely. Your husband might be expressing his love for you in a different way - learn to understand his "love language", and you will appreciate him more.
2007-03-14 15:32:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is wrong. To keep each other happy you both need to be equally affectionate. Tell him how important it is that he shows his love. If he doesn't listen take away all of ur affection for a few days and see how he feels then.
2007-03-14 15:30:04 · answer #4 · answered by *VS* 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its all in the way they are raised. to be this big tough guy that never cries...or someone who still hugs their dads.....
And it not the females job to be affectionate, some women aren't either. Talk to him and just keep showing him and maybe he will pick up on it.
Good Luck!!
2007-03-14 15:29:29 · answer #5 · answered by Orleanslady 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apparantly has something to do with his family life, and the roles his parents created. Let him know where you're coming from and what you prefer. If he's unable to comply, perhaps a 3rd party professional would be able to let him know that it's ok to show/express affection.
2007-03-14 15:29:50 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I truly hope during sex some affection comes thru! how did you get married without some level of affection? I wd like to think you did gt reciprocated before marriage.
2007-03-14 15:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Brown'n 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is about how he was nurtured by his parents.. Have you looked at his parents and their affectionate for each other?
2007-03-14 15:28:02 · answer #8 · answered by MJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reward him like a dog when he shows affection. I would go in to detail but this is Yahoo.
2007-03-14 15:28:24 · answer #9 · answered by Johnny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont men usually return the affection they recieve? Maybe he feels that if he shows you affection you will think he just wants nookie
2007-03-14 15:27:51 · answer #10 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋