She has been acting like as if I am a stranger in the house. Yet when she needs her day to day material things she want me to be the provider. I am the sole bread winner, she does not want to work. Isn't it a torture. And there is nothing I can do because of children.
2007-03-14 08:13:09 · 31 answers · asked by DilPickle 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
thats considered normal for me
2007-03-14 08:16:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How long? I know that when my husband and I need to be away from each other (b/c of an argument or just need breathing room) we just do what makes us feel less stressed.
If your wife keeps it up, simply ask her, " Why dont you want to share a bed with me or even acknowledge my existence?"
" Have I done something to hurt or offend you? If I did, honey, Im so sorry. I never meant to."
If she's real cold towards you after you have asked her in a caring and loving way, maybe her heart isn't where it was when you married. Or maybe she just feels disconnected from herself and being alone helps. COMMUNICATE with her
take an interest in her outside of her normal capacity: mom, wife, maid(lol). It could be that she resents you b/c you have a job,a purpose, other than just being a husband and father.
If all else fails, marriage counseling w/ a pastor or therapists
might help. Working things out together solidifies your relationship. Marriage on its best day is still HARD work.
Its a team effort. Not a one man show. But no I dont think separate beds and the cold shoulder constitutes "separated"
2007-03-14 08:39:07 · answer #2 · answered by heatherclhn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think legally you are seperated, but I've been where you are and it is bad. I had kids and stayed for them, then she asked me to leave and they got hurt anyway! Don't know what the moral is here, because if you leave her you will feel guilty for causing the hurt, if you stay it's just a different kind of hurt for everyone. I think you need to talk to her, and if you find that too hard you need to ask yourself some serious questions about why you cannot talk to the person who is meant to be closest to you.
Hope this was some help, but in these situations there is no easy answer I'm afraid - I just wish there was.
2007-03-14 08:35:26 · answer #3 · answered by oeasensible 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry your going through such a tough time, it seems quite obvious that there is no relationship there. To answer your question it is not considered a "legal" separation as you would have to live in separate places and I believe it would have to be for a period of time. To add a little advice to this matter, I once went through almost the same thing and after much thought and counseling even with kids you only have one life to live. Everyone deserves to be with someone they love who loves them back and in the end when the kids are older they will understand why their parents separated. Hope it all works out for you.......
2007-03-14 08:26:42 · answer #4 · answered by cleo_patra101 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she having an affair? any woman that loses interest in the bedroom and completely moves into another room is usually having an affair.You can seperate and you living in the same house is not considered a seperation, you can move out and pay child support and then she would have to get a job.
2007-03-14 08:18:49 · answer #5 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
arrange an over night stay somewhere for the kids and sit down with your wife.
tell her that you love her, but you feel like something is wrong. ask her if she feels that you have done something or if you have said something to her to take away some of the closeness that you once shared.
ask her if she is needing more help round the house, suggest a vacation so you can get reacquainted, spend a bit of quality time together.
take her in your arms, kiss her, tell her she is the most beautiful woman you have ever seen, tell her every time you see her you fall in love with her more and more.
best of luck with everything and i hope that you manage to get everything back on track.
2007-03-14 08:27:57 · answer #6 · answered by laneyb_1983 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's what I call limbo divorce, your between intimate and seperated. If your going to give your marrige a chance, you should do something now. Counceling is not such a bad idea, remember these people have dealt with people such as yourselves, they may have answers or perspectives you do not know. Sounds like she does'nt want to be married, but enjoys the security of one.
2007-03-14 08:21:36 · answer #7 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, just no longer sharing the same bedroom and you are estranged in away. You can do something you can see a counselor on your own if she won't go with you. Before that, ask her what is the problem not in an accusatory way. Start arranging dates, bring her flowers, candy, victoria's secret.
2007-03-14 08:17:51 · answer #8 · answered by purplejadedragon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends are what city, state you live in. In Missouri you have to have separte residences to be considered separted and for a divorce you must have be separated 1 year.
Have you talked to your wife? Just because children are involved does not mean you HAVE to live a life of hell. I got divored with two kids, and lots of people I know have too.
I am not encourgeing divorce by all means, try to talk it out.
2007-03-14 08:18:14 · answer #9 · answered by 2shay 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not a legal seperation but you two are seperated in a way. You should sit down and talk to her about your concerns if you haven't already. You should also probably look into couples counseling.
2007-03-14 08:16:36 · answer #10 · answered by Vivita 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, my parents, when i was a kid didnt really sleep together. My dad would stay up late to watch tv and fal asleep on the couch. My mom slept in the bed. They never had sex, i dont know why. And thats its....they never cheated on each other, or divorced.
2007-03-14 08:29:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋