Well, Ive been married for 9 months. He cheated on me time after time after time. I can't belive I let myself take him back every time. The worst thing is that it was with the same girl.(his ex). I don't understand him. Why dose he do this to me. ive tried so hard everytime this has happend to forgive and forget. I moved to IL from another state and yet he has done nothing good for me. I want to make it work. bUT i don't trust him. I do admit he has changed in the last 2 months. But we are having problem cuz of trust. I wish i could make him feel what i feel or just be able to let go of him or of the past. what should i do.
2007-03-14 08:11:55 · 6 answers · asked by lost1985 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He will have to earn your trust and honestly, if it's only been 9 months of marriage and he's already done this, he'll do it again.
2007-03-14 08:23:22 · answer #1 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've only been married 9 months and already he's had multiple affairs on you? I hate to sound negative, but what are you waiting for to get out of that relationship....an STD or something?
You need to honestly re-evaluate why you're with this man. "Love" doesn't hurt and doesn't take advantage of others. If he keeps straying on you, then he's not committed to you. He will never respect you or the vow he made to you unless you give him an ultimatum. Either go to counseling or get out. Personally, I would have kicked him to the curb a long time ago, but if you are still willing to work on this marriage, then get into counseling ASAP. If he's unwilling to go, then cut him loose. You deserve better! Good luck.
2007-03-14 15:33:04 · answer #2 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is with the same women, you probably have more of a deception on your hands than you realize. Have things been better over the pat 2 months because you are sure he is not seeing her...or just because he seems to be focused on your relationship? Cheaters lie over and over, and if he knows you know, it makes the lying and deception even easier to hide because he knows you will be looking. Maybe this "ex" is in it with him...
I have read about so many women who stay because they gave up "this" or "that" for the guy. Why give up even more of yourself, including your self-respect? Why keep taking him back? There are good guys out there. Often the guy we think we want is not the one who is good for us.
He will never "feel what you feel"...I tried to get my ex to think that way for years...it was a waste of my time. He always made me feel like it was my fault for being distrusting when he was the one cheating!
Be strong girl!!!
2007-03-14 17:28:44 · answer #3 · answered by sweetsouth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like me. For 2yrs my husband was cheating on me with the same girl and I also took him back over and over. We been married going on 4yrs in May. We spent 1 anniversary together the other 2 he spent with her and in between time he came home and now where on our 4th anniversary and guess what he back over there with her. But this time it's different. He really wants to come back again and I won't let him.This last time he left, a month later I went out in meet someone. And I been dating him now for 6months and I have no real intentions to go back to my husband. I had to draw the line in the sand sometime. Going though it is a night mare. I understand how you feel. When my HUSBAND was back home, the times I took him back it was a living nightmare. I was all ways afraid to come back from work in find him not home or I was always thinking is he calling her, meeting her somewhere, or when his phone rang, was it her. I was afraid to leave his sight. It was a living night mare and it's discussing to live that way. No trust at all. YOUR always stressed out, it's like your waiting for him to do it again, you just don't know when, and it's so unhealthy to live that way. But I notice one thing when I LET my guard down and try-ed to trust him and he do good for a few months and I think things are going back to normal he do it again. And if your husband cheats again, are you finally going to draw the line in the sand. My husband calls me and tells me he is so unhappy and he wants to come back in raise his son, we have a 9yr. son together.And that was other thing I got tried of his son getting happy that daddy was back home and he turn around in do it again. I can't let him hurt me or our son again. And now his crying the blues. And truthfully this man I been dating he help me to stay strong, and not taking my husband back.And believe it or not I still love my husband but I can't live with someone without that trust. And when your ready you will draw the line in the sand. Only when YOUR ready. And God help me a lot. I ask my husband for a divorce too. Of course he said no.But I have other plans now. 2yrs of his cheating. No MORE FOR ME. And I started to read a lot Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger has a good book ten stupid things women do to mess up their lives and ten stupid things couples do to mess up their relationship read them.
2007-03-14 15:46:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have some respect for yourself girl. If he's done it more than once then he's not going to stop. Dump the dude, seek counseling and move on. You're just hurting yourself at this point.
2007-03-14 15:16:01 · answer #5 · answered by Rick 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully, I don't even understand why someone would be asking such a question? But, since you have, I must say: "Get out of that situation right now!" Move it!!!
Life's too short, and there's certainly no shortage of "GOOD" men out there worthy of your love!!!
So you made a mistake... learn from it and move on!
2007-03-14 15:18:44 · answer #6 · answered by love_2b_curious 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋