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I am 50, shes 27. She lied she was university student for 2 years, then lied continuously to cover it, started an affair,it continued 6mos. under my nose while I trusted her stories, when i traveled she "couldn't come" then used my apt to screw him on my bed. Money dissapeared day before I left. When I returned I dumped her, then she started coming over for sex, I wanted it too. She became pregnant. I always wanted kids and family, especially at my age, so I offered to try if she stoped the lying. I she can't stop, still I catch her in lies big and small. When traveling I left cat with her two times, two different cats died under her "care". I have since found good woman my age, and left this cheating, lying, thief. But what about baby,I think she should pay for test,she cheated. I can not now be with such low character, but I fear for baby's upbringing.Legal fight's possible, but I'm 50 yr old man and not so rich to pay for legal battles, she has no money,lives with mom. We're enemies

2007-03-14 08:05:56 · 19 answers · asked by Nick N 1 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

19 answers

Here's what you do.... DUMP HER!

2007-03-14 08:08:39 · answer #1 · answered by Elijah 1 · 0 1

Unless you want your child brought up my a possibly mentally unstable woman, I suggest you engage the services of a lawyer. If you cannot afford one, call the American Bar Association office in your community. They will put you in touch with a lawyer who will do your case on a pro bono basis.

If what you say about the young woman is true, I suspect she does not want to (or cannot) take on the responsibilities of parenthood. She may be relieved to turn over the child to you.

You might want to get counseling or attend parenting classes and establish yourself with a church. A court might look upon a 50 year old man who has sex with women half his age as less than a desirable candidate for child custody. If you make efforts to create a stable situation and show improvements in your own behavior, a judge might be more open to your request.

Put the welfare of the child first. Good luck!

P.S. I was feeling sorry for you until I looked at your profile and previous questions. Six months ago, you wrote "in our relationship she was fathful and caring, available in many ways. I felt lucky, happy, until I did my usual thing in relationships: got bored, started to take it for granted, going out and flirting occassionally. I left for 6 weeks on business and she had an affair. I returned, over-reacted." Maybe there are better alternatives than having either one of you raise this child. Adoption is probably the only chance this baby could have a normal life with loving parents.

2007-03-14 08:19:04 · answer #2 · answered by Suzianne 7 · 0 0

I would keep this lying cheating woman out of your life forever. Do not offer to pay for any pregnancy tests for her. Let her go to social services. She is what we call in Italian a "Mala Femina"..which means bad woman. You will not have legal battles, because you were never married to her. If she tells you that it is definitely your child, then I would do a DNA test. You may have to pay for the DNA test from a reliable DNA lab, but it will be worth knowing the truth. Don't believe her, because she did have sex with other men while she was with you. She may con you into believing it is your child. If you find out it is your child, you could try to get custody from her if you can prove that she is an unfit mother. But, because of your age, and circumstances, I would just send her money for the baby if it is yours. If not, tell this woman to stay out of your life and to go where the sun doesn't shine. You were too nice and she took advantage of your kindness, but now you met a good woman, do not do anything to jepordize your relationship. This woman if you let her will try to worm her way back into your good graces...do not let her do it, because she will never change. She is a user, a promiscuous slut and a liar, and she will never change. Sometimes we have to learn from unfortunate experiences. So now that you learned a hard lesson, it is time to move on.

2007-03-14 08:44:19 · answer #3 · answered by cardgirl2 6 · 0 0

You're going to have to scrape up some cash. The first bit is to cover a paternity test. You need to know if you really are the father. Then you need to go and talk to a very good and efficient attorney and start some sort of payment arrangement so when the time comes, you can sue for custody. She sounds like someone who needs a great deal of help from a professional and not someone that should be raising a child.

Oh, and start a diary of every interaction you have with her.

2007-03-14 08:12:05 · answer #4 · answered by donewiththismess 5 · 1 0

When the baby is born get a paternity test first..if the child is your's support it and be a part of his/her life..but dump the mother..she doesn't deserve anything more. Might be tough, but how can you put up/marry someone like that..but get the paternity test first to make sure the child is yours. You can get aid/help through legal services within your community.

2007-03-14 08:11:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Oh wow. Ok; here's the best way to handle this. Have a DNA paternity test done for legal purposes. Then, if it's yours, hire and attorney, the results you receive will hold up in court. You can either file for full custody or custodial parenting. Full custody=she loses her rights to the child. Custodial parenting is aka shared parenting. Now, if it comes back that it's not yours; you are legally and morally off the hook and you can move on. Good luck and keep me posted!

2007-03-14 08:12:49 · answer #6 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1 1

Is this a question or is it just you venting? Go make a speech somewhere else, pal. Yeah, she's a repulsive person, but if she can't prove your the father, you can drop her like a fly and never have anything else to do with her. If she doesn't raise the issue of paternity, don't raise it yourself. But if she does, insist on the test; hopefully you won't be the Daddy and then you can choose to never see her again.

2007-03-14 08:11:09 · answer #7 · answered by lmnop 6 · 1 0

you will not get full custody unless you can prove she is unfit, and even then there will be a big court fight, and those do not come cheap. if you doubt that you are the father go to the court now and have them order her to take a paternity test , they are not expensive any more. if you are shown to be the father get a lawyer and seek joint custody and really try to see the child as much as you can, try to counter the influence you know she will be having on it.

good luck

2007-03-14 08:14:23 · answer #8 · answered by tigweldkat 6 · 0 0

I would not pay on dime on that baby unless I had a paternity test. Heck, go on Maury, he will do it for free for you. And second of all, if its not yours, its not your problem. Start a new life, with a good person. But i would suggest you get that mess figured out first. I promise you, now that you have moved on, she will start more trouble now then she ever did. So get the test, and get on with your life.

2007-03-14 08:15:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You caught her cheating, lying and stealing. Yet you were willing to have a baby with her until you met a woman your own age? Please tell me you can't really be that dumb. You'll be paying child support until you're 68 unless the kid goes to college. I can't honestly see a bright future for the baby with you too idiots for parents. But, miracles happen. Start saving now for tuition.

2007-03-14 08:14:43 · answer #10 · answered by penhead72 5 · 0 0

You should not trust a girl for having a family, if she can't even look after your cats!!!

And, honestly, real liars can't just stop, it's like an addiction.

Of course you should insist on a test to know if you are the real father or not, anyway - even if you pay for it, so what.

2007-03-14 08:10:59 · answer #11 · answered by swissnick 7 · 1 0

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