My husband still continues with his girl fren even after marriage.?

Question

i got married just two months ago, last week i found that he still continues to be in contact with his girl fren. he says that they are just frens now, though before our wedding they had physical relationship too. wht shud i do, im in a real trauma, even i tried to committ suicide but was not successful. I am unable to trust him. He says he will stop phone conversation with her now, but since she is just 20 miles away i don't trust that they will leave each other. But im in a dilemma, can't leave him as i love him, but can't tolerate any other women in his life too. what shud i do? plz help, its really urgent, i want to save my marriage.

Answer 1

If he's just friends, then you are being incredibly insecure.

If you can't tolerate other women in his life, as friends, then you really need to seek counseling, cause that is a very serious problem.

If he's being more, then he's being dishonest.

Answer 2

I hate to tell ya, but you have allowed him to get away with this for so long, and he knows that he can get away with it so he will do it, so you can stay married and pretend like its not happening, or you can divorce him and find a real man. If you think that he is going to just change out of the blue, you have another thing coming, if he already messed with her before the wedding and you did not do anything about it, then this is on you.. so you love him, but do you not love yourself enough to have some self worth and leave?? Love can't always conquer all, if he is willing to go to counseling and he really does stop, then wow im impressed but i would give him a choice and if you find out he does it again then leave, because if you don't then you are just showing him you are weak, dependent and have no self -worth. I love my husband very much, but if he cheats on me i will still love him for a while but i will leave him.

Answer 3

Please do not harm yourself again or even try. They just are not worth that! If you conduct yourself in an honorable way, you should be proud. I would say that you two need immediately couples/marriage counseling. Your husband needs to understand and know why it is NOT a good idea to maintain even a friendship with his exlover. And you need to learn to trust him. Contact your health insurance provider to obtain the name of a reputable counselor. If you don't have health insurance or can't afford counseling, contact your local church (pastors/priest are usually trained for some counseling). You could also contact your local health department and request information about their mental health dept (marriage counseling falls under this division). You may want to save your marriage, but you need to save yourself too. Don't let your love for this man blind you to your value yourself. Even though you would be terribly hurt and devastated if your marriage does not last, you would survive and continue to grow and thrive as a single person and renew your life and perhaps find a more suitable love. Be strong. Marriage is one of the hardest jobs there is, but it has the best benefits. You both need to work hard to repair this damage. Good luck to you and may God Bless you.

Answer 4

Had he promised you before marriage that he would stop all contact with his ex-girlfriends? If he had, but broke the promise immediately - this is a big red flag, and it is likely to happen again and again; better get used to it if you want to stay with him, and don't let it bother you.

If he had made no such promise, and you guys have not addressed the issue until now - don't make a mountain out of the mole hill. It is not uncommon for people to stay in touch with their former dates, and it doesn't automatically mean they have "feelings" for each other or any such thing. My former spouse and I remained in contact after we divorced, and we still talk to each other; it's been 6 years since we went our separate ways, and 6 months since I've re-married.

However, if you don't wish for him to be in contact with her - just let him know that; if he accepts the terms, then there shouldn't be a problem. Don't be dramatic about it; these issues are best resolved by communicating your needs and expectations, not by threatening suicide at every occasion. Lighten up.

Answer 5

believe me he isn't worth u hurting yourself. u need to set boundaries the boundaries are about what u will accept in the relationship and what u won't, make it crystal clear to him that if he keeps seeing her u will have to leave the marriage. only way to save it is to confront him, show respect for yourself, and give him an ultimatum, if he won't stop seeing her, there is nothing u can do but leave him. a married man should not have his ex girlfriend in his life, for any reason. perhaps he is still involved with her. but u need to stand up for your self, and there are just some things that don't set well in marriages, and that's other women in the marriage.

Answer 6

Here's your problem, for which no one can give you a solution: "I don't trust that they will leave each other," your words. You married a man you don't trust. YOU MARRIED A MAN YOU DON'T TRUST!!! Now, when you thought about the kind of man you wanted to marry, did you put the "trustworthy" trait into the "Not Important" column? Apparently you did, and now it's too late. You can't marry a man expecting him to change.

Oh, and see a psychiatrist. Antidepressant medications are very effective these days, and they cause few side effects. Please, get help.

Answer 7

If you want to save your marriage, then you have to stand up for yourself and tell him what he needs to do. He is the one in the wrong and he is the one who has fixing to do. If he continues with this relationship, he is disrespecting you and you need to find a way to get out and get over him. Love shouldn't hurt that much!!

Answer 8

Good job.
Girlfriends should be nipped in the bud well before marriage. Attempting to commit suicide? I have no respect for you but let me finish.
Grow a spine and leave.

Answer 9

you need to pray about it then tell your husband that you feel like that is desrespectful, because how would he feel if you were doing the same thing. if he doesn't respect your wishes and his friendship with his ex is more important than your marriage then you dont need to be with him because you deserve someone that will love you and respect your wishes. and if he does then he will stop all communications with her. bottom line, god bless you hon.

Answer 10

k-so if he cheated on you with her right before the wedding -why did u marry him???? and always go with your gut instinct -question? you would rather be cheated on and married then be single?