not financially, but freedom-wise....the other day he said that he thinks we made a mistake buying an SUV, and that he should have bought a 2 seater sports car instead. Well, this comment made me feel that there is more to what he wants out of life and it's not just about the kind of car he drives. Am I right?
We have kids, a dog, married for 15 years, and really not enough parking space - these are just a few of the practical things people consider when choosing a type of car.
That whole conversation made me feel that he is missing out on excitement and if he didn't have us - family, he would have had the lifestyle that he really wanted. I really explained all this to him as well to make sure it's not just about the car, but I am left feeling like I burden and how his life could have been if he didn't have us, how do I make myself feel better about this situation?
2007-03-14 07:44:59 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
us guys are funny sometime. but i would not worry. he was just making a guess that if he did not married would his life be better. guys do this all the time. hell i did but i know that if i did not have my wife i would be a bigger mess right now. you lady's fix us men so that we don't do stupid things. thank god for woman. men would be lost.
2007-03-14 08:14:54 · answer #1 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think it may be a mid-life crisis either that or he wants to feel young, important, popular, you know how sometimes you enjoy heads turning to see you in a great car. You need that sometimes. You are not a burden to anybody, you remember that! You have your kids to worry about and he's sure to get over it. Still, I would talk to him or better yet do something fun for the both of you. Is it financially possible to maybe rent him a sports car for a day and ya'll go out on a picnic or just driving around? Have your mom or his, or a friend/babysitter watch the kids and you guys take a day of for a romantic night out. Honey if you hadn't had his kids you would have a different lifestyle maybe YOU gave up something too. He should not take you for granted and appreciate you. If he wants a sports car then ok (its a guy thing) find something that he will enjoy just the same. All people give up something for a relationship or marriage he is not the only one. I'm sure he'll get over it, but know its not you, he's going through menopause lol He'll come to his senses just be a good mom and a good partner so YOU can be confident in knowing that YOU did a good job.
2007-03-14 15:04:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps he just was upset with the SUV because of the fortune you can expect to spend on gas??? I know that would be my reasoning!!
I think you are reading into the comment entriely way too much. Not enough parking? Of course an SUV is not a good first option!
2 seater sports car screams mid-life crises mobile...however, maybe you should consider that he pictures you in the passenger seat of that 2 seater sports car! Could just be that he wants to rekindle a youthful flame in your marriage?
2007-03-14 14:54:20 · answer #3 · answered by jebul 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't honestly jump to any conclusions with his statement; not just yet. Tons of people would LOVE to have some kind of sports car. I'd feel out the situation more by asking or blending that question into a discussion. Ex : "Did you really like that sportscar?" This way, you're non confrontational and you can read his facial expression and body language which say more than words. Just go with things for awhile; if things go awry, you'll see the hints. Best wishes!!
2007-03-14 14:50:59 · answer #4 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was he always that way, materialistic. Did that attract you too him in the first place, did you get married because you loved his character or personality, or because the car he drove and the money he made. It takes a very short time to figure out what a person is really about. Just deal with it, and hope he does'nt leave for a younger woman.
2007-03-14 14:54:54 · answer #5 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a mid life crisis honey. In 2005 my husband bought himself a great xmas gift a 2006 corvette! You got it a corvette when we have a 13yr old handicapped child, had a child on the way, and he has a 6yr old from a previous marriage. His passed and I am sure your husbands will too. If its been 15yrs and you feel he wants more out of life ask him and if he says what your assuming he will, be ready to face those facts.
2007-03-14 14:52:13 · answer #6 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ask him why he said that about the car? Talk to him. Never be afraid to talk to him. Sometimes it is easier for men to talk to our wives if you initiate the conversation. If he really feels that you're a burden to him, tell him he is free to go. If he wants to stay, you two need to work it out. Go see a marriage counselor.
2007-03-14 14:52:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible your husband is going through a mid-life crisis?
No matter what, you didn't do anything to make him feel this way and are not to blame. You didn't cause it so you can't cure it. He needs to deal with his issues.
You are not a burden.
2007-03-14 14:50:08 · answer #8 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if every person who is married wasnt married they would have different lives. is this great news?
you have low self esteem if you are questioning your value as his wife. we all have regrets about purchases, etc. do not let him fool with your mind, write a list of all the things you could have done in life, and its also possible he would have been miserable single, as many are. a person's happiness comes from within,[i mean from Jesus] not from a life style.
2007-03-14 15:00:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, a two seater IS impractical when you still have children at home. Odds are he'd be nothing without you. Remember that!
2007-03-14 14:51:57 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋