PLEASE PLEASE HELP me I'm CRYING!!?

Question

I'm not asking you to read all of this it's WAY TO LONG i only want you to read ONE!!! I DON'T CARE WHICH ONE YOU PICK

So I’m a senior in high school going through a lot of stress right now. I feel like I’m really seeing my friends true colors shine and they aren’t shining to brightly to say the least. I have written 3 different situations that I am in right now!. ALL OF THEM VERY UPSETING! You can call me a drama queen if you want you can be rude about this whole thing or you can be polite about it I don’t really care I’m not asking you to read all four of them NOT BY ANY MEANS YOU DO NOT HAVE TO READ ALL 4!! That would take much to long but I beg of you to at least read ONE PLEASE and give me some sort-of advice on it! PLEASE! I really am upset. This has been upsetting me for awhile I come home crying almost every night now. I don’t know what to do anymore!!

AGAIN THIS IS VERY LONG BUT I'M ONLY ASKING YOU TO READ ONE OF MY 3 SITUATIONS!

Person #1

Person # 1 and I have been friends since the 4th grade. We went to elementary, middle and high school together. I went to her birthday party in 6th grade and got into a fight with one of her friends. I invite this person to EVERYTHING of mine…My birthday parties, movies everything! She always shows up too. Recently she told me to my face that she was having 2 house parties! But she then told me that she was not inviting me. When I asked her why she did not invite me her responses were the following
you

told u the god d*mn reason... maybe i thought u'd be uncomfortable... i still remember during 4th grade at Julie's birthday part you were down in her basement CRYING because you fet like everyone hated ... well u know who came down there to see if you were okay... oh yea! that was ME!!!!!!!!! i tried to ******* help you... MAYBE i thought u'd be uncomfortable with the people at the party and i didn't want u to get upsest and start crying again... if u actually think of it... i was trying to help you! so i'm sorry if u think i hate you but i don't... you just take things the wrong way and your going to tell ME to grow up! wow.... let's just read u'r post again and see who should grow up and try and learn what people are trying to do to help you. and HELL people go behind my back all the time... that's life... it WILL happen so sorry.”

lright u want the truth???? the truth is that i felt you were out of place and i didn't know if you would fit in with the people at my party... hell u dont' even KNOW any of my xc friends except for kat but that's one out of like 10. and my other friends i dont' know if u'r friends and that group of friends that i have we have the same exact people at our parties it's not like it's anything new all of their parties i'm mostly invited to and my party they are invited to so i'm sorry if i thought it would be weird. oh and that's the other thing i DIDN'T tell you that i was having a party because i didn't want to hurt u'r feelings but i should have known it would come out sooner or later... and how many times do i have to say sorry beacuse i will say that i am sorry i told you i was sorry like a hundred times so i don't know what you want me to say.”

QUESTIONS INVOLVING PERSON # 1

1.Would you forgive her and be friends with her?
2.Do you feel what she was saying was just an excuse because she did not want to tell me the “real” reason why she was not inviting me to her parties.
3.What would you do in my situation?

Person # 2

Person # 2 and I have been friends for awhile now. Her and I and a ton of other people were all supposed to go to prom together! She told everybody to buy there tickets on Wednesday which is today. Yesterday she came up to me her other best friend Katie and my boyfriend and told us all that she had already bought tickets with all of the other people who were supposed to go with us, got a limo, and a table and that they were now full so we would have to find other people to go with to the prom! Katie was in tears! Because Person # 2 is really Katie’s like best friends. All of my other friends are either going with a group of people already and had asked me but I told them I couldn’t because I was going with person # 2 and now there tables are full OR are not going at all.

Person # 3

Person # 3 used to be my BEST FRIEND! I told her everything. Recently I was running for a position as president of a club. My best friend who was president at the time told me she didn’t think the position was right for me and that she would like to allow freshman to become presidents and VP’s because they are the one’s taking over the club next year. I was fine with that I said ok I see where your coming from. She then went behind my back and allowed 2 of her other friends to be the president of the club and vice president and the two people were SENIORS (in my grade) and had NEVER been involved with the club EVER! I’ve been involved with the club for 6 years! It’s a club about people against smoking and trying to get teens to quit

Questions about person # 3

1.Would you consider person # 3 a friend?
2.Would you forgive that person?
3.What should I do?

Answer 1

I don't know if this will be any comfort or not, but in 3 months none of this is going to matter anymore. Speaking from experience, hardly anyone stays in touch after high school. They might try for a year or two, but eventually they'll give up trying to stay in touch while they go on with their lives. You'll make new (better) friends in college and you'll forget all about this.

Answer 2

It sounds like you have a lot of issues to think about.. Remember it is not the quanity of friends you have that should matter it is the quality. If you and Katie were left out maybe you and Katie shuld go together, and make plans of your own. Make a good thing out it and don't let their unsecurities ruin your night. Prom is special for many reasons not just whom you go with. Okay the other situation about the party is this other than the way she talked to you and acted about it I don't see why she should feel responsible to invite you to every party she has. She has explained that you didn't know the friends she invites and that she felt you would feel uncomfortable. Be her friend not her cager. Friends don't have to do everything together to be friends. But in the way she talked to you afte the fact with the cussing and name calling that would be my bigger issue rather than that she choose to have an activity with out including me. Friends even when in a disagreement should respect each other and it doesn't sound like you two have that. Now the third problem. How did you're friend arrange to have someone become p and vp. Are they not an elected position? If you listened to her and choose not to run you made the descidion not her. I'm sorry you didn't get the position you wanted however unless she personally assigned them the position she isn't to blame. It might be she honestly did back a couple of freshmen but that they didn't win. If she did appoint them you need to ask her why she would do that if she didn't want you to run because you were a senior. My answer is long please read it all. It may also be that you are feeling like everyone is out to get you because of something else if you are still feeling down ask to talk to you're school counslour, they may be able to help

Answer 3

I think in sit. #1 your friend's telling you that you never have a good time at her parties and always stress about something so she didn't invite you because she doesn't want all that drama at her party. You could have a talk with her and tell her you are going to "work" on being less emotional and try to grow up some. The 2nd sit. about the prom sounds like a lot of chaos with nothing "mean" intended. Maybe you two shouldn't have waited around for someone to do all the organizing and then criticize them for making a mistake. You should double with Katie and hook up with your friends at the prom. This is your senior year and you should be having fun and not getting all stressed about friendship issues....in other words cut your friends some slack. Start learning how to stay calm and give up the teenage angst crap.

Answer 4

Oh High School. Can't say I would want to go back to the drama. The previous people are correct. Once you get out of High School and head into College--these people will become distant memories...
How about just invite a few people to hang out with you at your Prom. You will probably have more fun with a smaller group of people anyway. You and your boyfriend and your friend can go together. Relax.
Catty b****es will continue to be in your life. The best way is to just ignore them. They act that way because they are insecure and feel a need to take it out on you. It doesn't matter how old you get, or how successful you are--those type of people will always be around. Just smile and nod but don't let it affect you.
I promise things will be a lot different once you have graduated and these "friends" will not get very far in life acting like this.

Answer 5

First of all, stop crying and step back for a minute. Your problems really aren't problems at all. As I read through your 3 situations, they all had one thing in common - YOU were upset because someone had not included you. Now, you can either let that bother you (which it has) or you can learn to be your own person and realize that you don't have to hang with ANYBODY to be happy. You don't need people's approval or have to be included in anybody's party or group. Yes, everyone wants to be a part of the in crowd, but in all honestly, those "incrowd" folks are going to be long gone after next year. My advice is for you to learn to be OK with people talking about you, not including you, or not liking you. This is life, unfortunately. But, what you have to do is figure out a way to be happy enough with yourself that things like this will roll off your back. So, my advice for these situations - figure out some other plans during the night of the house party, find other friends to go to prom with, and forgot about not being President. And, most importantly, stop allowing this stuff to get you upset. It was OK to cry over trivial things when you were a child, but now it is going to ruin your quality of life if you don't get a better handle of your emotions. Just my two cents!

Answer 6

You are right, you are seeing their true colors. Now you need to be the mature one. Wash your hands of these "friends". You don't need to be rude about it, I always tell my daughters, a polite "hi" in the hallway to acknowledge them, but no general chitchat or calls or invites. When you leave high school you will be involved in so many other opportunities to make new and different friends and it is VERY rare that the friends from high school remain with you after that. Look to the future - in every way possible - college, job, husband, children. You will have so many other opportunities to grow and expand your life and friendships. Finish high school with your head held high. Don't stoop to their level! At the end of a bad day, make a cup of hot tea, run a hot bubble bath and grab a good book and soak for awhile, when you get out you will feel a lot better. You don't want to waste your time, effort and energy on people who don't know what being a friend is. Good luck to you and God Bless.
In all of those situations the "friends" should have handled each situation differently.

Answer 7

I agree in a few months you will not care about the fourth grade are your stupid in crowd friends. You are going to have to learn to move on and now is the time! You are going to wonder what the hell you were being so insecure about and why and wonder why you felt like this. Maybe stress from growing up has got you down but true friends are for life and we only get a handful and I have found my best ones where not those silly little girls from highschool.... I do have one that I still talk to every once in a while. the other 3 are my dogs for life that I got on the way through and out being a grown up. You will see very soon. So calm all the way down.

Answer 8

I am sorry you are having a hard time. I read all three situations. What I get out of this is you are a senior and you know what. YOur friends you have now will probably not be your friends later in life. It sounds like your friend in number one is not being such a friend sounds like she got caught and was feeling bad for being not so nice and decided to jump on you and make you feel like you were the one at fault. In situation number two. who cares who you go to the prom with. it is one night. and yes it would be great to have those memories. but you will survive if they are the best. I pray you have the best. stop stressing over it. and you will have fun. in the third one you need to let your self make decisions who cares of people are happy do not let them tell you waht to do and then get mad because because you did.

sounds like you have lousy friends.

or could it be that you are the lousy friend.
that people just do not like you so much for some reason.

look into it ask them calmly. maybe you did something that you did not even realize. something you could fix.

Answer 9

Take a deep breath, honey, and let it out slowly. Now take another, count to 8 as you let it out... keep breathing deeply and slowly. I know you're very stressed out and upset right now, it's totally okay to cry and get all the frustration out of you, so just let it go.
Now that you've gotten all this stress and badness out of your system, it's time to rebuild and find a way to fix things and take care of yourself.
I skimmed all of your messages, and two main problems came to light:
1) you are easily upset and prone to taking things too personally, and
2) your friends aren't very considerate of you, and are somewhat self-centered.

First of all, remind yourself that 99% of what people do isn't about you - it's about *them* and their issues. Teenagers, especially, haven't yet had a lot of practice putting themselves in other people's shoes or considering their actions from the other person's perspective. So don't take it personally if a friend doesn't invite you to a party or presidency or prom - they are simply being a little selfish and putting their own needs before yours. So if they won't consider your needs, you have to - think about how you can change the situation or create a new solution to address your needs - reserve your own towncar/limo for prom, party with another friend, run for another position in the club or a different club.

Secondly, ask yourself what you really value in your friendships. Who has stood by you and understood you the best? Who is the most willing to put up with your moods and help you feel better? Are your friends really backstabbing you, or are they "handling" you to prevent you from making things difficult for other people? Consider it honestly and fairly, and then stand by your decision and don't doubt it again.

Also, take advantage of your school counselor, s/he is there to listen to you - not to just passively listen to your venting, but to help you actively deal with your problems and find solutions. An objective opinion from a live person could really help you right now.

Remember: breathe; think about the big picture; and focus on solutions. It will be okay.

Answer 10

I read everything. It sounds as if you are an extremely sensitive person. I'm not judging you but It sounds as if you really need to get a hold of yourself before you drive everyone away. Work on your self esteem. You are young and probably confused and lonely at times. Remember that a friend is not your pillow to lay on. Friends have their own problems to deal with and you have to show some independence. People often make the mistake of trying to make their friends their psychiatrist. They want friends to be there for every little problem they have, but it's simply not fair. Sometimes it becomes a big burden for the friends even though they love you. Lighten up sometimes. Try to be more cheerful and positive. Give your friends some emotional space. People react more kindly if you are fun to be with, but if you are always crying and whiny they will avoid you. Give this a try.

Answer 11

You already know what you need to do. A true friend wouldn't treat u like that. Unfortunately a lot of friendships fall apart over time. Also, I think ur getting too upset about this. Parties aren't the most important things in the world. I'm sorry that ur going through all this but u just need to calm down and everything will be ok