I need some advice on helping my Daughter?

Question

Hello, My Daughter going though a really bad time at the moment and she has been looking after me for years while i have been ill.

But i feel she needs to think things out and have some space get herself out of this rutt and i think the best thing for her would be to get away for a week, but i want her to be safe and she has alot of aneixty and derpression promblems.( she see a thearpist etc)

where would you suggest?
is there any places where she could go? anywhere that can help? she is 17, nearly 18 years old

ps: My other question, will explain more if you need more information.

Answer 1

Blessed are you to have such a loving daughter. And blessed is she to have such an unselfish and understanding mother.

Your daughter has been taking care of you for a number of years, i.e.since she was quite young. I do not know the nature of your illness, but it obviously requires her to be with you. Yes, at her age she would get depressed, and you are a very understanding mother to want her to get away for some time.

I wouldn't just let her go away by herself, especially if she hasn't been out on her own. This may sound a little conservative or "square", but I would be much more comfortable if she went away in a group, preferably with other girls in her own age range (say 16-20). I am sure your parish must be organising short, supervised trips for girls, and if she goes with them, not only will she be safe, but your mind will also be at rest.

Since you do not mention your husband, I presume you are either divorced or widowed, but pardon me if I'm wrong about that, I don't mean any offence. If her father lives separately, then perhaps she could spend time with him, unless of course, you have very strong reasons against such a move.

Or if she can spend some time with a relative, where she will have decent company, that would also serve the purpose.

Time away in another setting will give her mind the much needed rest, and she will come back rejuvenated to provide you the support you need. You will also benefit, for you will realise how precious she is to you, and that nothing can replace a devoted daughter's love.

Hope this matter gets sorted out happily for the both of you.

And last, but not least, hope God rewards your daughter by making you get better, for she takes care of you because she obviously needs you and loves you.

Answer 2

Join the Prince's Trust Volunteers, if it's still going. It's a great course it was for 12 weeks when I was on it 10 years ago. It'll help her have some fun, meet people, boost her confidence, communication skills, etc.. She'll also do Outward Bound as well fund raising. It's an excellent course for anyone between the ages of 16 and 25 yrs.

Contact your local jobcentre or careers office or college and find out about your local Prince's Trust Volunteers course.

Answer 3

Sounds like she has a lot on her plate for 17 years old. Do you think a week will do it? If she's suffering from anxiety & depression I don't think i'd be sending her alone. You need to sit down and talk with her uninterrrupted and see what her take on it is. Perhaps a best friend could go with her (check with the best friends parents). This time of year with spring breaks, etc., 2 young girls alone isn't the best situation. Instead, why not send her to a week-spa (of course I don't know your financial situation or anything so that's pretty costly). The best thing you can do is to sit her down and talk.

Answer 4

I suffer from depression & just based on what I would enjoy, I would have to say that your daughter needs to get away for a week as you said, but she probably doesn't need to be around a lot of people. Something where she can enjoy nature & relaxation. I wouldn't suggest like a beach because of the crowds. Is she going to be away by herself or with friends/family? Perhaps she just needs to be left alone for a few days, not actually going any certain place, but to have time to herself. If she enjoys reading she may like to spend some time doing that. I can't think of any specific places for her. Wish I could be of more help~

Answer 5

Wow a question worth comprehending. Well it sounds like your daughter really loves you to take care of you while you were sick, but if she is almost 18, then she is an adult and you should show your appreciation by buying here tickets for a vacation some where with a friend. Or if you are feeling better then maybe you should both take a cruise somewhere. You probably think that she is tired of taking care of you, but my mother was sick with breast cancer for a long time and I was with her everyday and she is better now thank goodness and I still spend as much time with her as possible. So maybe yall getting out on the town together would be nice. Something to pamper the crap out of you both.

Answer 6

I've had a lot of friends who have really found a lot of confidence while on a trip with Outward Bound. They do adventure trips with teens and adults that range in location, activities and length. Maybe she would excel at new challenges and see herself as more powerful? And she' be supervised and distracted by learning new things and pushing herself, not just sitting on a beach somewhere.

And ask a friend/family member if they could stay with you or come visit so she doesn't have to worry and knows you'll be happy for the week too.

Answer 7

Young people, need to have activities outside the home. What about "The Young Carers Services". Young carers have the same rights under the NHS, and the Community Care Act 1990. If, you have a social worker, they might be able to give you this information or contact your local authorities. This might help, your daughter to have some respite and to meet other young cares like herself, who are caring for members of their family. Great kid you have there, and take care...All the best...

Answer 8

i am really not sure that if her problem is chronical one week away would help. the best thing you could do is talk to her first, see if she wants to go, or maybe just try something new, or whatever would make her feel a bit happier. and definately talk to her therapist before you do anything. your daughter seems a nice, loving person and i am confidents that she'll get through her bad period, but it's something you should discuss with her, just be there for her (like she has been for you), notice her, try to make her smile... you will find a solution together

Answer 9

I agree with Stefka, somewhere with relatives, Nice place. Do you know anyone in CA? maybe she can go to the beach, or a nice nature retreat where she can unwind and relax with people you can trust.

As a woman, even traveling when I was younger, I always made sure I was safe, I hope your daughter is OK with this, maybe you can arrange for someone else to take care of you in the meantime.

Best wishes!

Answer 10

Ummm....have her take responsibility for her life. She is probably depressed because she never had a chance to live her life, since she had to help you out all those years. You are now in that same postion: caring for your daughter who is emotionally ill. Whatever the cause, it is most likely because of withdrawal from being in the caregiving position for most of her life. Give her back what she gave you, but don't encourage co-dependency. That is her psychological makeup at this point; she needs to learn another purpose for her life. Being in the caregiving position must have left her with some sort of void.