2007-03-14 07:01:56 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you put an obituary in the paper announcing the viewing times, that makes it a public event. The funeral home cannot keep anyone out if there was a public visitation. Your best bet is to try to keep the peace, but if you are concerned, you need to hire a gaurd to keep out the people you don't want to come in, because the funeral home will not assist you in keeping anyone out (legally we cannot do that)
Also- If you did NOT publicly announce the viewing in the paper, then it can be by invite only and that point the director can control who is allowed in by names on a list.
2007-03-14 07:07:26 · answer #1 · answered by Reagan 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I don't think so. Not if it's in a church at least. Anybody can walk into a church and watch the funeral. I hated that at my Dad's service: 'site seeing' mourners who we didn't know!
You can request that people don't attend of course (maybe through a friend of a friend etc.) but I get the feeling this might be a bit more acrimonious than that. I'd say, don't make a fuss and just get on with the most important thing: saying good bye to your Dad. Ignore everybody you don't want to speak to. Most people will understand. Also, it's a very overwhelming day anyway, so you'll be focused on getting through it and not so much on who's there.
2007-03-14 07:09:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless the obituary read "Service are Private" anyone can attend.
If your mother made the final arrangements then it was her decision to have a funeral for family, friends, co workers etc to attend.
If you mother is not around and YOU were the ONLY survivor (no brothers, sisters) then you could arranged a private service.
Attend the service and be on your best behavior with everyone in attendance. They came out of respect for your late father and to pay condolences to his family.
2007-03-14 07:44:01 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is tough. you can have the ushers at the funeral escort the people out, stating that the family has asked that they not attend, but their is no legal way to prevent people from attending a memorial. My father passed away, and before dying he made it clear that one of his sons was not welcome. My sister called the son and told him not to come. He didn't. I know he had upset my dad before, but i also know 6 months earlier, he showed up at my grandfather's funeral and home, and he was obviously only there for the food and nothing more. He ate so much food, it was like he hadn't eaten in weeks, and he was not clean, not shaved, wrinkled clothes, he was a mess. My dad was embarrassed and angry. So as far as keeping people out, all you can do is communicate that they are not welcome as far as i know. sorry. this is not a time when you want to deal with this sort of thing.
2007-03-14 07:15:31 · answer #4 · answered by casady96 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, honey, the only person you can control in this world is yourself. It shouldn't bother you WHO attends this funeral, since your father won't care, and actually it is a sign of RESPECT when people honor the dead by attending. So why would you have a problem with that? Sounds like you have other issues to work on.
2007-03-14 07:06:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am very sorry for the loss of your father . I too am grieving for the loss of my beloved partner after a long illness in December . What you must ask yourself is would your father want these people there ? My situation was also very difficult and there was alot of people at his funeral who had not bothered with him for years including alot of his own family , but for his sake I swallowed my pride and just let the day go as best I could . It really is a hard time and my heart goes out to you but at this time we have to do right by our loved ones to the very end . Hope it works out ok for you .x
2007-03-14 08:07:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically you can. Tell the funeral director to get names at the door, give him a list of people not to let in, and then have him turn them away.
Should you? That's a totally different story. It depends on the situation, as do most things I think. If your father would not have wanted this person to pay their respects, then use your best judgment. That person can ALWAYS visit the grave site on their own.
If your father would have wanted them there, but you do not, then it's probably not the best thing to ban that person from your father's funeral.
2007-03-14 07:56:22 · answer #7 · answered by joteach03 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First, I'm sorry for your loss. It is a hard enough time without having to deal with situations like this.
My sister and I had this issue when my mother passed. We did not want someone to come to her funeral, but then we realized he needed to say good-bye, no matter how much we disliked him or what he did in the past.
Do not try and stop them from attending. Instead get good friends to watch for these people. Let them come and pay respects, but tell your friends to keep these people away from you. Take care.
2007-03-14 07:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by g-lady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I fear I will have this problem when it comes time for my father. My mother always treated my dad like crap, used him for his $$ and will take all she can when the time comes. I will refuse to lte her to his funeral... what I believe may work is to have the police on hand and tell them not to let said person into the funeral.
---Don't listen to those who tell you that you shouldn't allow someone into a funeral--they have no idea of the real world. Its your father and if you think taht said person shouldn't be allowed then you do that.
2007-03-14 07:06:22 · answer #9 · answered by All I have to do is dream... 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can ask them not to come and hope they don't. I don't think you have any legal recourse. You may be able to ask the funeral director to help keep them out. I'm not really sure. It doesn't hurt to ask them though.
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my father 7-6-01.
2007-03-14 07:08:36 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋