Do you mind weight gain in a partner?

Question

Be honest or there's really no point in me asking this (and it is annonymous of course).

Are you predjudiced against fat people? Would you consider going out with a really big girl/guy if you really liked them but they were big? Or would you consider dumping someone if they put on a huge amount of weight? Do you think they'd still be attractive to you?

OR are you on the other side of this as the larger person? I'd like your point of view too.

I'm asking because I was watching a programme about people who's partners had left them after long relationships because they didn't like their weight gain. The point of the show was to point out how shallow these people were as the person they met and liked was still there no matter how big they are. I THINK IT ULTIMATELY SHOULDN'T MATTER, but, I have to say that if my husband put on loads of weight I wonder if I would feel the same because being physically attracted to someone is an important part of a successful relationship.

Answer 1

after 21 yrs of being with my hubby i dont think weight is a problem in our house... we both have put on weight since we were teenagers. i love him for who he is... when i look at him i still see the teenager i fell in love with. i would think most happy couples feel the same way...

Answer 2

I am personally on the thick side and so is my partner. My friend's father once said, 'meat is for the man and bone is for the dog.' My guy likes a little extra something and so do I. I would not dump my guy because he put on the extra weight because he is still the same guy. I have heard of relationships where the guy gives his gal some rules about weight, "if you gain more than ten pounds were done" That's just ridiculous and VERY shallow (like hoosier in his comment)

Answer 3

I don't mind an extra few pounds but personally, I would not go out with someone who was obese. I am married and if my husband were to become obese, I would love him unconditionally but honestly, I would find him less attractive. I also feel like weight gain (that is not related to pregnancy or a medical condition) usually shows that a person does not take care of their body properly and doesn't cares for his or her appearance. It's one thing to be physically active and eat right and still be overweight. It's another when the person who is overweight eats nothing but junk all day and does no physical activity.

Answer 4

Great question,and I think that women care less about weight gain in their love than men do.This I think depends on the age factor because men that are in their 60s seem to dig in for the long haul and will over look the midlife spread in their women they usually have too much invested by then to change horses in the middle of the stream,yes ultimately it should`nt matter but I feel to make an issue of it for health reasons is showing the love you have for your partner.There are usually a lot more issues going on in the relationship that people don`t want to face so it`s easier to focus on the apparent one,and ease on out the door.

Answer 5

My partner weighed 15-16 stone when i met him. Now, 5 years down the line and he weighs near 21. It bothers him so he is working on it. It only bothers me in so far i can no longer wrap my legs around his waist. So although his weight doesn't matter, ultimately, if he was to put more weight on, yes, it would turn me off him. I fell in love with someone i could wrap my legs around, it's a physical thing. Mentally i wouldn't stop loving him but the physical side of it would just be a turn off. Eventually it would probably lead to tension. Or at least we would revert to a platonic relationship.

Answer 6

I would mind if I could see my partner was unhappy due to putting on weight, there's no way I would finish the relationship based on it thought. If they put on a considerable amount I would help with diet and excercise. Not just for my benefit but for his too as not only would it possibly affect his self esteem but his health too. When we're comfortable in a relationship it is quite common for people to let themselves go a bit or pile on the pounds, it's a sign of contentment. Yes physical attraction is important, but when we're old and wrinkly would we dump them then?

Answer 7

There is more to a relationship than size! Yes I agree physical attraction is part of a relationship, but so is personality! If you love someone it should be unconditionally! Would you disown your own child if they were overweight? If you love someone you love them for what they are and what they mean to you! Not just what they look like, look beyond the cover! You have to open a book to be able to read it!
Hope this helps?

Answer 8

the physical attraction only usualy lasts for 2 to 3 years and is replaced with a much deeper type of love based more on respect weight gain and altering of appearance shouldnt realy matter except for health issues i was a trim size 14 when i met and fell in love with my partner of 25 years and i am happily now a size 16-18 its mostly contentment i guess he realy doesnt mind but i guess that i am just lucky

Answer 9

im married but when i was single if i had of met a guy who was big, if he treated me how i wanted to be treated and was comfortable in himself, then it wouldnt be a problem. i wouldnt try to change him, but if he was extremely big, then i would maybe just try to encourage him to lose a bit of weight by cooking him healthy meals or doing things together that involve exercise.

my husband is quite thin, but if he was to get big, i dont think i would mind. while i have been with him my weight has gone up and down, through being pregnant, but it has never been an issue with him either.

But i don't think that people should let themselves too much, you cant expect your partner to still find you attractive if youre twice the size you were.

Answer 10

I would be more upset at the fact that my partner wasn't taking care of them self, than I was at the actual poundage. Weight gain happens to everyone over time, but larges amounts pose serious health risks, and would make me upset if I thought that my husband was just being lazy, and glutenous.
You ultimately have to be healthy

Answer 11

When I got pregnant I went from 123 pounds to 220 pounds, and I worried everyday that my husband would leave me, especially when after 3 years I had only lost 10 pounds. He has stuck by me and I finally lost most of the weight. If he gained an enormous amount of weight I would stay by his side, because I know that deep down he is the same person, and besides he loved me enough to stick by me!