I recently got married and I just want to know from couples who have been together for a very long time does that wonderful feeling of being married to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with wear off. I hope not cause everyday I fall more in love with him and I hope it never goes away...
2007-03-14 06:32:25 · 22 answers · asked by tawnee_santa_paula 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It improves with time and gets only stronger.
2007-03-14 06:44:49 · answer #1 · answered by OC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you are on the right path if you are feeling like that.
Let me explain what love is first. When you love someone (could be anybody, not just romantic, but friendship or family), you will do everything possible (and sometimes impossible) to take care, help and make that person happy without asking or expecting anything in return.
That is real love.
NOTE: to nyckib (first answer), you have lots of things to learn about life still.
Now, when you love someone on a romantic relation, in your case your husband, you add the physical attraction, sex, and the fact that by nature, we want to be together with a “soul mate” to share our life and have a family.
The problem is, that most of the time, people is confused and call love something that is actually lust or physical and sexual attraction. After they get married (usually don’t wait too long), they realized they made a mistake, and from there, things go down the drain.
In real life, attraction usually starts with the physical part, the sexual part as I really think it is, and it is usually followed by the mental part, which is your personality and who you are. Of course, is not always the case, and some times you fall in love with someone that was not attracted at the beginning to you. You can get both cases all over the world, and many times a mix, which I think is the best one.
As years go by, and the couple gets to know each other better, love will increase or decrease. I haven’t seen a case that stays the same. It will decrease if you find out more and more that the other person is not really the one for you (for whatever reasons), so hopefully they will not get marry, and they will go apart. This is a healthy scenario. Things go bad when they marry, and then they end up separating, divorce, and kids running around.
But if things go well, and the two of them keep on liking each other more and more, then the relation will be successful, and hopefully they will get marry, have kids and make a new family. And is there, living together, as a family (with or without kids) that man and woman get to really know each other, share things, have fights, have sex, make love, spend good time together, work, have fun, etc etc… You won’t even realize it, and you will be in real love with your husband, and so he will with you.
When you can say that you will sacrifice anything for each other, then you have reached your goal. But don’t think is that easy. A couple must communicate all the time, be honest, and understand each other, and be willing to sacrifice and also set limits. Is a co-relation between the two of you, and if you can manage that, then you will be fine.
Will love fade away, no if you learn to love. I know it. I’ve been together with my wife for almost 10 years, and we love each other more than anything lese in this world. And still each day that love grows.
Good luck, have fun, and congratulations!
2007-03-14 07:07:06 · answer #2 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been married a long time. The feeling does not go away, it just changes after the years pass. Change is a good thing and not a bad thing. You get closer to each other, understand each other better and the caring get deeper. That beginning tingling love...(I cant stand to not be with him for a second...thinking of him every moment), well yes that fades...but it is replaced by so many other wonderful things. Life goes in stages and so does relationships. They either grow stronger...with work and effort, or they grow weaker by not caring and not being so attentive than you were originally. Dont forget the little things...do nice things for him-always. There are a lot of ways you can show him how important he is to you...without words. You know the ways...just never stop.
2007-03-14 06:39:58 · answer #3 · answered by natashainka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It becomes more involved and deeper. As you experience things together, you develop trust and confidence in your marriage and in your partner. You learn everything that there is to know about them and if you truly love unconditionally, it does not ever go away. If you have conditions on your love, your partner may not be able to live up to your fantasy and then your "love" is over or you "fall out of love".
It's not always so "fluffy" and sexual as it is in the beginning, but it IS more satisfying. It's very comforting to know that your partner has seen you at your worst (sick, in labor, without makeup, fat, etc.) and they still love you and want to be with you. There comes a time that you cannot imagine not having that person in your life. That's why if a long marriage ends, people are so devastated and sometimes feel that they can't go on alone.
The best advice I know is to ALWAYS put the needs of your partner ahead of your own. If you can do that, you will seldom argue and you will be good for each other. You have to put yourself aside and think like the other person. You have to think about WHY they feel the way they do and then try to work with that. Try to understand and never ever hold a grudge. Never ever use sex as a weapon (witholding). You both need to know that your bed is a safe place where problems are not allowed and open arms wiat.
Lastly - always have a small bed so that you always touch when sleeping. Sounds dumb, but it works. King-size beds kill marriages!
2007-03-14 07:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by Dovie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to learn the difference between infatuation and love. Infatuation is similar and can feel like love. It generally lasts between 6 months to 4 years. After 4 years the blissful feeling doesn't consume your every waking moment, but is still present. In the long run it's more of a peace and satisfaction and deep caring then an "in love" walking on clouds feeling. That's not to say that romantic things don't re-spark those feelings. But they generally don't consume you like the infatuation does for the first few years.
Here's a poor analogy. Think of it as a person who always wanted that nice car. So they finally get a nice corvette. For the first while they're totally stoked to be driving it and being seen in it. Then after a while, they still may like their car, but it doesn't give them the rush as when they first had it.
2007-03-14 07:16:53 · answer #5 · answered by sickblade 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your married to the right person, most days are like you're still honeymooning. Eventually the novelty of being newlyweds wears off, but knowing that you are both still actually IN love after 3, 5, or 8 years of marriage gives you wings!
2007-03-14 06:38:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is the bonding of two people into one that
makes an unbreakable mold. When two people
are committed, respectful, and loving to each
other then their is no limit on how long it will last,
having said that my 20yrs being married to my
loving wife is an example that I am proud of and
we will continue to do what is needed to make it
last until the end of our time.
2007-03-14 16:49:17 · answer #7 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my standpoint of marriage, love has many forms and stages. True love lasts forever, and it grows every second. One way i have learnt to keep it blossoming in my 8 years of marriage, is the 3 step secret. My time, My wife's time, and our time. To this day I don't know the proper balance (trust me i have tried and failed on many different fronts) but I am learning it comes naturally. Hope that helps.
2007-03-14 06:38:32 · answer #8 · answered by writethewrong 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it never does! If you truly love someone it grows more every year. Just remember to live those wedding vows each and every day and don't take each other for granted and the only bad day that you can ever experience is the day one of you loses the other to death. I have lived that and know the feeling of both. You carry them in your heart even when they're gone.
2007-03-14 06:41:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well love realy only last for 3 years it was proven by a ucla collage but the afection does last a life time for example the afection that you have for your brothers or sisters but me boyfriend have been together for 6 years i guess the afecion can last but good luck with your husband and don`t worry about little thigs like that worship every second that u spend with him.
2007-03-14 06:39:04 · answer #10 · answered by ciara 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scientist have proven romantic love lasts about 3 years; so you better have something more to base a marriage on than just sex.
2007-03-14 06:35:54 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋