Okay i have been married 2 yrs just about and am only 23 / my hubby is 24 so we are both still young.I thought are marriage was great and fine till i caught my hubby cheating with a co-worker 1.3 into our marriage.At the time we were supposed to have been trying for a baby i was heart broken.After this we could not stop fighting so 2 months later he left throwing divorce papers at me .I ran into an old highschool bf while at the bowling ally picking up my little cousin and he was first love as well the whole home run deal.Later i gave him a call and one thing led to another drinking was involved.It happened 2-3 more times before i called it quits needing to get over my emotional issues.To my suprise my hubby came back wanting to work things out.He has since moved back in problem is i just found out i am 3 months pregnant and it cant be my hubbys.What can i do i feel awful?
2007-03-14 06:29:17 · 27 answers · asked by Ashley C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When he came back my hubby told me anything that happened while we seperated was water under the bridge so we never talked about it.I am afraid i destroyed my own marriage!?I cant seem to find the right way to tell him?
2007-03-14 06:32:30 · update #1
You really don't have a choice you are going have to tell him and let him know that happened while you guys were apart. If he leaves you then you know he doesn't care about you.
If he truly loves you he will accept this child as his own. But you need to let the other guy know also.
2007-03-14 06:38:53 · answer #1 · answered by Firestorm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't ruin your marriage, your hubby did. You did what you did, because you were seperated from your hubby. He left you, with the intention of divorcing you. So, you hooking up with the other guy, there is nothing wrong with that. You need to tell your hubby that you are pregnant with the other guys child. Let the other guy know as well. If your hubby has anything to say, he needs to realize, he was cheating on you, while you and he were living together. In my opinion, you did not cheat, so your husband cannot use that against you.
You are trying to make things work, so start off by telling your husband the truth, be honest with him. If he decides to leave again, then he is probably still wanting to see that other girl. Keep in mind, he cheated on you and he will probably do it again. I would also suggest go to counselling to find out why he cheated on you in the first place.
2007-03-14 06:39:27 · answer #2 · answered by George P 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Water under the bridge" according to him.
He screwed around, left, left papers with you and probably screwed around some more. If he's doing it, why can't you? If he actually cared for you, he'd be wanting to make a baby with you, rather than banging someone else.
Tell him. This is what happen under the previous circumstance "You brought on" and "these are the consiquences – i'm pregant by another man" Tell him to either accept it or complete the divorce. Two can play at the cheating game and you just hit a grand slam. If he's a voilent type, have a man authority figure(s) in the next room for safety sake.
Best wishes :)
2007-03-14 06:57:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell the truth. He did the leaving. You have a baby which is not your hubbys. he has the right to decide if he wants to raise another mans baby.
But Honey once a cheater they always cheat. He may say he is all over it. that it was a thing he had to go through so he can be all yours.
that he was scared and he found out he loves you.
you did not ruin your marriage he did that when he cheated. and decided to walk away instead of trying to fix it.
there is not such thing that what happens in vegas stays in vegas so to speak.
the thing is it is always going to come back to haunt you. Tell him before the baby grows to love him and then gets hurt to find out he is not the father later in life.
2007-03-14 06:45:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay seems like you have a serious problem here.
First lets address the issues.
He cheated on you! So, there is a trust issue here. He is the one that caused the break up.
Second, you were not with him when you were with the other guy, so that is not cheating.
You have a responsibility now to tell the other guy that he is going to be a father...first of all. If you do not want ot be with the other guy then he needs to know that also. That is the first thing you need to do.
Then you need to be honest with your husband. You have no other choice. If he really cares about you and wants to make it work he will understand the situation.
If he does not...well you need to move on because he caused the problem in the first place.
You need to think about the baby now.
2007-03-14 06:35:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont blame this on yourself. Its not your husband's fault either. Not the baby thing anyways. He cheated and he's the one that ruined your marriage not you. Did you know there was a chance of getting back together with him? Do you still have feelings for your first love? Is there a relationship there? You have to be honest with him. Tell him your pregnant, but also tell him its not his. I'm sure there will be plenty of fights over it, but DONT let him guilt you into taking all the responsibility for this. You thought you were a single woman again. This is a very very difficult situation. Good luck with everything. Whatever happens, happens for a reason, but please dont ever forget that from now on its not about you or him or the other one. Its ALL ABOUT THE BABY. Dont ever forget that.
2007-03-14 06:48:04 · answer #6 · answered by MariChelita 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is never going to be an easy conversation but putting it off with only make it worse. Tell him straight as soon as you can. Let's see if he means what he says about water under the bridge. If you are married, legally the child will be his, nobody will be any the wiser. If you can deal with this your relationship will be able to withstand anything. If you can't, well perhaps it's not the right relationship anyway and this is just a lull in the storm.
The very best of luck to you.
2007-03-14 06:41:20 · answer #7 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest now. Tell him the truth. He'll be even more angry later if he thinks the baby is his and finds out otherwise.
He left you and probably slept with other people while you were seperated. Not like he's innocent.
This will take a lot of comprimise and resolution but honesty is the best way to begin.
Take good care of yourself and your child. Your baby needs to be your #1 priority.
Your husband should also get tested for diseases cause who knows where he was while you were seperated.
2007-03-14 06:38:39 · answer #8 · answered by •√¡rgő• 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
water under the bridge is one thing. but i can tell u this. hes not going to like it. weather or not he stays is a diferent story. i have to honestly say if i was married to you and we seperated and got back together to try to work out our diferences i dont think i could take u back carrieing someone elses child. it would be hard. i guess i would have to love you alot. also the other problem would be that u could use as amo is the fact the hole reason u were in the mess to begin with is he couldnt keep it in his pants either. so i guess ur mutally screwed up. however urs came with more problems then his. if he wont except u maybe u should contact this other guy and let him in on this. so that way ur not totally screwed.
2007-03-14 06:38:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a situation! You poor thing. There isnt an awful lot you can do. If the baby can't be his then he will work it out. I think you need to have a long think about what you want and be honest with him. It will take alot of work but If you both want to make it then you will. He was the one who cheated. Then he left you. Yuo need to talk. If you try to cover this up it will cause much bigger problems down the line. Good luck, I hope you work it out xx
2007-03-14 06:35:50 · answer #10 · answered by katyllou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you've been taking your pills like you're supposed to, and using a back-up form of protection, you probably don't have a whole lot to worry about. It's very responsible of you to wait until you have your degree to consider having a child. It might put your mind at ease somewhat to talk to your doctor about your odds of getting pregnant, as they're really very low. Sometimes it helps to hear it from a professional. The only surefire way to avoid pregnancy, of course, is to stop having sex.
2016-03-28 22:59:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋