I have visited her family a few times and they do not like me because I am Asian. They have shown distaste for our relationship. I know they are quite proud to be white in Scandinavia. Is there anyway I can change her family's mind about me? I have never done anything to be dishonorable towards her family. The only reason her family does not like me is because I am Asian. It frustrates me very much because they make me feel like I am not worthy of my wife and I am starting to feel that way and it makes me depressed. We have a daughter together and I am not sure if her family even likes our daughter.
2007-03-14 06:21:33 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's pretty sad. I have known people who don't like their grandchildren because they were half black. You can't make them like you. It's only her opinion and your child opinion's of you that counts.
If the family does not accept you, then it's their problem not yours. Most Scandinavians want their race genetically passed down. It is rare to see an Asian man with a white woman where I live.
The best thing you can do is not visit them when she goes to visit them.
2007-03-16 15:06:42 · answer #1 · answered by TiredofIdiots 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly, but there’s nothing really for you to do to change their mind—for now! Just keep what you have been doing, be a great husband, respect them knowing that they don’t like you. Hopefully, they will see that and it will probably change their mind in a future, if not then it’s going to be their lost for not accepting their daughter’s husband. It will be their lost that they didn’t give you a chance to get to know you as a person, but because of your race.
Anyways, life is too short, enjoy your family. Don’t worry too much about them. Is not like you live with them, as long as your wife doesn’t change towards you then there isn’t really a problem. You are the better person….
Smile…. =)
2007-03-14 06:31:14 · answer #2 · answered by L!LO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We get it they don't like you because you're asian. The fact that they don't like their own granddaaughter show what vile people they really are. You are not the problem they and your wife are.
You can't do anything it is up to your wife to do something. She needs to tell her family that when you visit they will treat you with respect or the two of you will no longer visit and then follow through. Of course why she would want to subject her daughter to these people is beyond me. If she won't do that tell her you will no longer visit these people. If she loves and respects you she will not visit without you. We can't choose our families but we can choose how much time we spend with them.
Luck
2007-03-14 06:34:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am Russian, I currently live in Alaska, USA. I remember one of my friend, a white girl, married a Chinese man, and for her Russian "white" family it was like she dishonored all of them. They are married with two children (absolutely gorgeous sons) for about 20 years now, but her family still gives her husband a cold shoulder.
She is still IN LOVE with him!!! He is still IN LOVE with her!!! I asked her how can she do that and she simply said: IT IS ABOUT ME, MY HUSBAND AND OUR KIDS, NOT MOM AND DAD ANYMORE.
It does not matter what her family really thinks about you and what is your family thinks about her. You have found each other, you love each other, and I am sure your daughter is the prettiest baby in the whole world. People will change their opinion about you two, you will find friends who will cherish friendship because of who YOU are not what color is you skin. You have other responsibilities now and they are not her family opinion on you.
I imagine how probably hard it is for your wife to live knowing that you are sad about how her family is treating you. You cannot change the fact the you are an Asian. Continue to honor her family (or tolerate them if you will), but do not give her a hard time because of them.
Remember, if she is still with you ---> SHE LOVES YOU!
2007-03-14 06:41:24 · answer #4 · answered by Zomba_RS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't worry about what her family thinks. What does matter is your wife and daughter, take care of them and don't worry what your inlaws think. Prejudice can't be changed, if anything you may be able influence the next generation of children in her family... even then it may be an uphill battle.
2007-03-14 06:51:35 · answer #5 · answered by Darren 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything to change their minds, because what they don't like about you isn't changeable. If they are mean to your daughter, keep her away from them. Just limit your contact with them. Let your wife visit them alone, if she must. There's no reason for you to put up with their bad behavior.
2007-03-14 06:29:23 · answer #6 · answered by Tiss 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you don't care if they like you or not. All that matters is that your wife does. And if they disrespect your daughter, you will put a stop to that and for sure they are not going to like you. You will make sure of it.
2007-03-14 07:19:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have facial reconstructive surgery, wear blue tinted contacts, wear, then bleach your hair blonde. You'll probably need to change your name too. Magnus would be a good first name to use. So instead of being like a Chin Soo, you can now be a Magnus Johannson.
2007-03-14 07:01:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to stay away from her family. Your daughter should not suffer what you have gone through. If they do not respect you and your family, they are not welcome at your home. Have your wife speak up to her family about their attitude problems.
2007-03-14 06:33:51 · answer #9 · answered by Kimora Miranda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 you cant change who you are
#2 you should be proud of who you are
#3 try not to let it bother you and tell them to butt out
#4 your wife needs to speak up to her family
2007-03-14 06:28:15 · answer #10 · answered by Btieti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋