This girl I go to college with has a very bad almost unbarable odor to her, and really would like to help her out because people are starting to make fun of her and stuff...
2007-03-14 05:52:03 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
You are a friend, indeed! Kudos to you, girlfriend!
Many yrs ago, I worked at an office where a poorly dressed, odor strong gal worked. I heard people complain about her over & over. She was very shy, and I didn't know how to approach her. I'm sorry that I wasn't pro-active about it because next thing I knew, the company fired her due to the complaints. I'm not even sure if they even had the kindness to pull her aside and make suggestions...
So here we are today, and you have a similar dilemma. You want to help without insulting her feelings or damaging any potential friendship with her. Let me do some brainstorming:
1. Hold an AVON, BeautiControl, or similar party that has lots of goodies to buy for personal health. Invite her. Have cute little goody gifts for those who come, and make sure she gets one that contains bath gels, shampoo, deoderants, etc.
2. Find out if she has a birthday coming up and see if you can slip her a gift of toiletries.
3. Buddy up with her and be friendly in that, you invite her to your room, and you show her the neat stuff you have, tell her of stories of like - When you first did laundry and you messed up, but you learned how by..... this way she picks up on washing her clothes - she may not realize the importance, how often, how to even do it! And stories of allergies to some deoderant, but this one by So-N-So company works really great and is nicely perfumed. See if she'll allow you to share some spots of perfumes, test them for you , and see if she likes them. And what of this shampoo? Oh my, you think you are allergic to it, you hate to throw it away - would she like it? On & on, use your imagination with interesting scenario's and without being directed toward her. You'd have to be very careful of how you word things....
4. Send in her name & address to companies that give samples of toiletries. Maybe she'll begin to try some.
5. Invite her to go on a day's shopping excursion with you. Take her to nice clothing places that have sales racks (that YOU prefer, you see...), then to the drug store, you are out of such-n-such and it does such a great job of ...... whatever. And be sure to go grab lunch.
Prod her for information of her background: did she grow up in poverty? without a mom? was she abused in such a way that she felt less of herself - thereby not taking care of herself? If you understand where she comes from then you can help her better now. Allow her to take you gently into her confidence; be buddies for a long while before you begin to take these "baby steps" into doing a "Pygmalion" or "My Fair Lady" transition on her.
Whatever you decide to do, you will both benefit - she will learn how to take better care of herself, and you will grow in personal depth and character. I'm very excited that you are willing to tackle this situation and not just sit back and watch this girl go deeper into her anti-social habits. Take it slow, do it with patience, and keep her heart foremost in your mind.
031407 12:15
2007-03-14 06:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by YRofTexas 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest,to tell a girl that she need a bath would completely tear her heart apart so the best thing to do is to tell her about a new product like deodarants and perfumes and bath salts and stuff and how they help with the skin,in short bring the topic in an indirect way,where u will not hurt her feelings and u might be surprised to know that she might be strugglingling to get rid of the odour herself...so just give that girl talk a try
2007-03-14 06:01:52 · answer #2 · answered by sweetpie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I once heard the story of someone like that, but the reason was not that she didn't bathe but do to her parents she belonged to a religion that didn't permit her to use soap deodorant perfume. once she moved out and was on her own. She started using those things she wasn't permitted to before and the problem went away. Try telling her in a nice way and that you don't mean to offend her, but it bothers you what people are saying. If it's do to some sort of health issue she is probably aware of it.
2007-03-14 06:05:02 · answer #3 · answered by BarbaraJean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was friends with her I would buy her some bath and body works supplies. The shampoo, bubble bath, shower gel, and body spray. As well as samples of deodorants and tell her you want her to try them out because you can not decide on which you like better. Or you could be honest and tell her the truth. Maybe she can not afford personal hygiene products so then offer her some of your body sprays. Better yet go shopping together.
2007-03-14 05:59:37 · answer #4 · answered by mjfrog 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem at my school.. but not just the students noticed, a few teachers even thought it was unbareable. I guess what I'm trying to say is just be honest with her and tell her truth.
2007-03-14 07:38:11 · answer #5 · answered by SC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that she is a very nice person and say that I am really not trying to hurt your feelings but other people are making fun of you cause they say you stink and I don't want that to happen honey so I think you would smell so great and people would respect you so much better if you take a nice relaxing warm bath.
2007-03-14 06:00:32 · answer #6 · answered by Brad M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could pretend it's something that has just happened - like "I can tell you've just been to the gym - never mind, I'll run your bath!" And if she says she hasn't been, then tell her she needs a stronger deodorant!
You don't have to be mean, and to be too tactful might cover up the problem.
Hey - you're a good friend.
2007-03-14 05:56:42 · answer #7 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that easy to tell someone 'bout something, especially if it concerns about his/her personal hygiene. Certainly, it would depend on how close or how long you know each other (or her kins, coz' they could help her out too). Know her well first, know if she doesn't get offended easily if someone gives her a friendly advice.. by then, it would be very easy for you to get her right timing. Or, just invent any story/rumor to her.. maybe by it, you have helped/ told her then (even just to give her an idea only). I believe, it's much safer that way, especially on your side so not to let her feel uncomfortable!
2007-03-14 06:39:45 · answer #8 · answered by Love Freely 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess politely ask her what kind of bath soap she uses, deodorant, perfume and if she says that she does use some make a suggestion of what she should use that you think smells good.
2007-03-14 05:55:39 · answer #9 · answered by Mamie-Lou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get her a gift certificate to a spa she'll love it and then go back like once a month and get her bath or just slap her and say take a bath stinky!
2007-03-14 07:18:34 · answer #10 · answered by razorsharpdut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋