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i told my hubby to be more romanitc. he did buy me something he got me a movie is that romantic. i think not. why can't men be romantic.

2007-03-14 05:34:49 · 25 answers · asked by lisaanndubay 4 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

25 answers

Their brains are not in their head!!!!!!!! Sorry guys!!! LOL

2007-03-14 05:40:28 · answer #1 · answered by L 3 · 1 2

Believe it or not, many men actually try to be romantic and do what they THINK a woman would consider romantic. Here is what the movie was probably supposed to make happen in your husbands mind:
1) We have a nice meal (in his mind the fact doesn't register that your having to cook the meal is not very romantic)
2) We dim the lights and sit back together on the couch. Real romantic with bodies touching up close.
3) It is a boring chick flick but I have to try and pay enough attention to kiss her gently on the back of the neck or squeeze he thigh a little at the right points (look for crying to help guess when)
4) When it is over, look kinda sleepy and give her a tight hug, a big kiss, and 'the look'
5) When we get to the bedroom, keep it romantic. At least five minutes of foreplay just for her. Make sure she knows she is still special.

OK, probably not every girls dream of passion and romance. But guys minds work in terms of checklists, scenarios and concrete action lists. Most just do not do from the heart, 'go with it' emotional. Help him out here. What would you find romantic? Let him know you appreciate the effort but he needs to work on it. Then give him a 'script' you have written with what you really like. If you think about it, can't it be just as romantic to have him TRY to give you what you need? After doing this for a while, give him a challenge. Just give a note that says 'Lets see how well you know me now. Plan us a nice romantic evening.' Men like a test where they feel like they have a chance at 'learning the subject' and passing. Even if he still fails, isn't it romantic to have a man that would work that hard at getting it right for you?

2007-03-14 13:04:32 · answer #2 · answered by sepowens1968 3 · 1 0

By telling him he must be romantic already kills the mood. Are you waiting for him to fail?

If you want romance then you should make some effort and set the mood. It is much better to be romantic with a willing participant.

If your man is working hard to provide for the family, helping out at home, involved with you and the kids than he is being romantic.

Romance is not always champagne and flowers. Thank him for what he does do for you. He got a movie that you both can enjoy and yet you found fault with it - you are the problem not him.

2007-03-14 12:53:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Sweetheart, be honest he probably wasn't romantic in the beginning either. Some men aren't and you can't change that. The fact he tried should count for something.
Our Friends always compare me to their husbands about what all I do for my wife. But when the husbands try it not what the wife expects or considers romantic and then they get upset about it. Not taking into account that hubby tried.
My wife isn't overly romantic, but that's OK because 1. I know she loves me. 2. I knew going in. 3. As long as she stays true to me that's more important than a romantic evening
I'm not saying give up, because he did try, I'm saying we can't read your mind, say what you want, don't be shy. If he does it make the fact he did it more special than the fact you got something. Guys are like dogs, OK we are dogs anyhow, the more you praise us for good behavior the more we want please you.

But what do I know?Hope this helps.

P.S. My wife and I are newlyweds going on 12 yrs.

2007-03-14 12:46:08 · answer #4 · answered by walker9842 4 · 0 0

Maybe because a mans idea of romantic is different than a womans? My husband brings a coffee home for us both at the end of our work day, he thinks that is the sweetest gesture ever, and you know what, it really is nice. Men do little things that can be easily taken for granted, they are wired different than we are. Take what you can get, doesnt have to be a dozen roses and a bottle of wine, might be the movie he purchased for the 2 of you to watch together...thats couple time and that is sweet. He did make an effort after you told him what you wanted, so try to make the effort in return.

2007-03-14 12:46:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

The problem is, most men have different opinions of what is romantic. You should drop hints as much as possible. If you see something while you are walking down the street with him, don't say "see, why can't you be like that", say something like "aww, that's so romantic".

Also, something you can do that will stimulate his desire to be romantic is to be romantic first. Women seem to always wait for a man to do something before recipricating. My wife is always saying stuff about me never doing anything, but neither does she so we're both to blame.

Take the first step, see what happens!!

2007-03-14 12:39:15 · answer #6 · answered by ski4ever1977 5 · 0 0

go read the 5 love languages book. He probably is romantic- he just doesn't know what you think is romantic. IE_ to him romance might be that he gives you a kiss everyday after work or that he helps you with the kids or something- meanwhile your take on romantic is him cooking you a nice meal.

2007-03-14 12:39:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Be cause our brains are wired different than females. We use the analytical side of the brain more and women use the emotional side of the brain. We can change however and once we do it is learned behavior. It took me getting older and realizing after my first marriage ended in divorce that I needed to look at what I was doing wrong and what I didn't like about myself. Get the book Rekindling Romance For Dummies and give it to your husband. I didn't think about reading it because I had already mad the necessary changes myself, but it might help you with your husband. Good Luck.

2007-03-14 12:53:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If you don't know what you find romantic how will you be able to communicate this to your husband?

First, sit down and think about what romantic is to you. Then share it with your husband. I would also suggest that you try being the romantic one as well.

2007-03-14 12:43:32 · answer #9 · answered by Stefka 5 · 1 0

Men can be romantic. The good thing about that is that he tried. You need to communicate with him on what your idea of being romantic is. I would not be unappreciative of the movie because that was his way of being romantic.

2007-03-14 12:46:56 · answer #10 · answered by Moni B 4 · 0 0

What is "romantic" to you? Men are not good at guessing games. You have to ask for what you want. If you want him to light candles, dim the lights, and share a bottle of wine in front of the fireplace, you need to tell him. Don't expect him to be able to read your mind. The better you communicate exactly what it is you want, the better your chances of receiving it.

2007-03-14 12:51:47 · answer #11 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 1 0

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