My husband's best friend is his cousin. Who is a great guy! But he's single. So when they go out to bars, I know his cousin is talking to girls. Cuz has even become buddies with a female bartender, and now they hang out together-with her.
Sometimes this bothers me, but I'd never ask him not to be around his cousin. HELP!
2007-03-14 05:22:41 · 21 answers · asked by tamarastarr2000 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband's best friend is a woman.
2007-03-14 05:28:19 · answer #1 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It probably should bother you. Many years ago I had a single female friend who shared a love of sports and we went to some pro games in the city where we lived. She was just a friend like guy friends, but it bothered my wife and I quit doing anything with my friend because I was giving someone else time and cheating my wife out of our time together. Confront your husband and tell him how you feel, or better yet, ask to go out to the bar with him and his cousin. You'll know from his reaction whether his friendship with the bartender is on the up and up.
2007-03-14 05:31:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand perfectly where you are coming from. I used to feel the same way. When I first meet my husband he informed me that his best friend is a girl, but he also informed me that she was gay, but to be honest I still felt a little uneasy. I do think that you have to realize that just because he his married and is a guy, that its okay for him to have female friends and not have anything going on between them. Men's best friends are allows been a problem because their best friends are usually single and are the ones that get them into to trouble, but I do think that you have to trust your husband. Yes he goes to bars and has made friends with a female, but thats okay, in order to make your marriage work you have to trust him and I don't think you have much to worry about because it doesn't seem like he is doing anything that is inappropiate. So have a little trust and if you still feel uneasy talk to your husband i'm sure yall could work something out.
2007-03-14 05:41:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
(I'm a guy, 38yo) No, it's not alright. If he's hanging out in bars and places like that with single dudes ("Cuz"), he will *have* to play the role of 'wingman' when they encounter girls. That is just the way it is. It doesn't mean he's banging some girl in the parking lot, but it means he has to be talkng to, flirting, etc., with these girls. Eventually, one of these girls is going to come on strong to him, or be so appealing to him that he won't resist the urge to take it further than just talking. Alcohol being present can obviously speed this along. Just saying that odds are he will be put in a compromising position (either bc of himself or one of these women). If you were present, or if he just didn't put himself in such a position (meaning he doesn't go hang out with single dudes), then you would have nothing to worry about.
2007-03-14 05:32:34 · answer #4 · answered by guitarrista_sean 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well first of all it is very important that you let your husband go out, that helps a lot to the relationship it's a great thing, but if something bothers you, talk to him it's nothing bad, is the way you feel about a situation. Never, never, keep quiet. I know he is going to understand.
2007-03-14 06:09:49 · answer #5 · answered by Annette E 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why it's NOT alright to have friends or hang out with the opposite sex, regardless if you're in a serious relationship or not.
Is the reasoning that if you're married you should only spend time with married people, and if you're single you should only spend time with single people? Isn't that a bit ridiculous and jealous? Am I supposed to treat my brother's bachelor party as the last time I ever go out to a bar with him until I get married myself? Suppose you're the first of your friends to get married; are you not allowed to go out with any of them until they marry also? He's married, he's not dead; we call those people WHIPPED!!!
So what if they go out to bars; as long has he's not acting inappropriately (interpret that for your own relationship), then I see nothing wrong just because his companion is single. And no, he doesn't have to act as a "wingman", how do you know his cousin isn't perfectly capable of sealing the deal all by himself?
My girlfriend has guy friends. I have girl friends. Neither of us care because (according to our relationship), it's not inappropriate behavior. If my girlfriend goes out to bars with her friends (single, married, male, female), yeah I'd like to be able to go but I won't whine about it if I have to work late. Same if I decide to go out with my friends, she won't pout or throw a fit. That's because we have trust and don't have issues demonstrating that in each other.
If you have reason to distrust your spouse because of his past behavior, then you might have grounds for objection. But in that case you two have more important issues to work on besides who he hangs out with.
2007-03-14 05:43:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cuz is single? If he is single, he isn't going to spend his time trying to set up his married cousin. Its hard enough to find companionship on his own to waste time doing for a guy who is married. Would you feel better if he was gay?
2007-03-14 05:30:31 · answer #7 · answered by ckgene 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, hon, it would bother me. As a married man, he ought to be building his relationship with you and your married friends, not bar-hopping... that's for boys. He's a tad immature, and yes, it sure would bother me....Include the cousin in your married group of friends or the guys over to your house to watch a football game, but the singles' bar scene........... uh, no.
2007-03-14 05:28:14 · answer #8 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would your husband want to be a third wheel, when he COULD and SHOULD be taking YOU along, so you can all hang out as a group---a foursome. That sounds really strange to me. Maybe you should just tag along some time. As a matter of fact, I think you BETTER.
2007-03-14 05:28:45 · answer #9 · answered by lcamel2000 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if it bothers you, i think the problem is more of a trust issue.
my husband works with all women, i work with all men. we are around the opposite sex all day, and sometimes afterward. we have no problem.
honestly, if i thought he'd cheat everytime he's around another woman, i would never have married him!
2007-03-14 05:34:29 · answer #10 · answered by sisterluck12 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋