Song Critique - Please feel free to criticize?

Question

Miserable Moments

Living days and dying nights
Waiting for you to come back
It’s impossible but it’s all I’ve got.
I can’t keep holding on.


Please don’t make me do this.
I can’t pretend you’re him anymore
It makes you smile to
Think you’re important to me.


But you are an echo
Of the life I once had
Miserable moments lying in my bed,
I can’t get past the past.

Answer 1

Sounds like a great start don't forget a good bridge and chorus. Good luck on the rest of it. Sounds good.

Answer 2

The middle one doesn't make any sence...However, the first and and last are really good. I really like the first sentence it has a good degree of depth. It reminds me of how i felt when i lost my best friend... couldn't sleep at night.... but anyway! You've got talent... keep it up!
~Tati~

And try this for the last one and make it the chorus:

Miserable moments lying in my bed,
I cant get past the past,
you are (but) an echo (in my head),
Of a life (that) i once had,