Please help me.... :(?

Question

My husband will ALWAYS tell me that he will be home at a certain time and then hours after that time when he is STILL not home, I will try to call him, and he has admitted that even though he has his phone on him and he can SEE that I am calling him, he won't answer. Then I get all pissed off because I feel like he is trying to hide something from me (even though he SAYS he is at a bar with his guy friend). Last night he wouldn't answer his phone and was only texting me....WTF??? I don't get it...it's like he was doing it just to piss me off. I was so pissed at him that I took all the couch cushions, and every single pillow and blanket and towel in the house and locked them into my room with me, so he wouldn't be able to shower or have anything to sleep on/with. Then this morning I wake up and find SEVERAL porn websites on the history, so I installed a pornblocker just to spite him...have I gone overboard? I just want to piss him off as much as he has pissed me off!

Answer 1

If I was a betting person I'd say that your husband is probably at the bar with his friends. However, when you call him he is probably saying "can't my wife leave me alone for 2 minutes." Are the other married? Probably not, but it doesn't matter. I'm sure by this time you have told him how you felt. But his behavior hasn't changed. You can't change other person you can only change yourself. So the next time he goes out with friends. Just say bye have a nice time. AND DON'T CALL! Under any circumstances. Go on to bed and try and get a good night sleep. One reason he stays out and is not calling is that he knows it bugs you, to prove to you he is in charge. As soon as he figures out that the bad behavior doesn't bother you any more he will probably cut back. In the meantime, do something that you want to do. Take a night class, go to a movie, go to the gym or just take a long walk. Something that you want to do that you will enjoy. Good luck

Answer 2

I am no better position to answer your question. But no you are not going over baord... Personal He is not the worlds greatest guy. You will not leave him till you have had absolutely enough... Even with all the advice in the world you will not walk away till you have to I know this for a fact. Your husband my have a sex addiction. That is what my ex had but there is still no excuse.. I have a child with him and every time I was turning around he was lieing cheating oh dear lord it got worse he was even sleeping with men. All I can say is you are two good of a woman to die for him if he gets aids he brings this home to you and your family if you have one or if you become pregnant. I can not stress it enough to get out of this toxic relationship before it is too late. He does not seem to care how this is hurting you and there is not enough love in the world to make you wanna stay with a man who has a woman who loves him so much and stays even after he pulls these stunts. he does not deserve you and you can not make any one change not even him. I really hope for the best for you no one wants to be devorced but some times it is better then being married in your shoes. Feel free to talk to me any time if you just need a friend. My name is Savannah I am 23 and a mother of three I have been there done that and am happy to give you a shoulder to cry on or a ear to vent on. [e-mail] My prayers go out to you

Answer 3

Ok, two problems here: Your husband, and then, you! Yes you.

So lets start with him.

He should not do what he is doing. If he says he will be home at lets say 7 PM, and is past 8 PM and he doesn’t call, then is ok for you to call, he is over an hour late, so you should be worried (about him, not of what he is doing).

So the normal and correct thing to do is to call him as I said, and he should answer if he sees the call. If he doesn’t see it, or he is too busy, lets say with work, then as soon as he can or see that you called, he should call you and let you know he is ok and that he got caught up with work, a normal thing these days.

Now, he has the balls to admit he sees you calling, is several hours late, and still he doesn’t want to pick up? Who is he kidding? Is he retarded or is he thinking you are retarded?

He is doing something wrong, I don’t know what, could be cheating, could be drugs, could be something illegal in search for money, I don’t know, but is almost for sure is something he shouldn’t be doing, or again, he is a moron and have no clue how to be an adult man.

But you are the one who knows him, so you should know what is going on more or less inside his head. If you tell me he did this once, or twice, then it would be ok, maybe he is really busy at work or he is having a little time off, maybe he is mad at you for something, or maybe he is planning a surprised party for you, who knows… but is not normal to keep on acting like that. And the situation will not improve more likely, but deteriorate to the point you two could end up separating.

So, you have to talk to him. But before I say anything about that, let me also talk about the second problem, which is you.

You are acting like a little teenager that wants revenge. If you did what you said you did, you are so but so immature that I don’t even understand how you got married on the first place.

Is obvious you are worried about this situation, but I don’t think you have a clue of how bad and dangerous could be if things turn out to be as we all probably suspect. You could have your matrimony depending on this. Taking pillows with you into the room is not a solution in case you haven’t figured it out yet.

You need to change your attitude. If you matrimony is going to be based on playing games and revenge every time any of you do something wrong, then you have no future and divorce will be happening soon.

Now, if you care about your matrimony and the family you two are trying to have and the future, you have to put yourself together and do what you have to do.

You need to sit down with your husband, and have a serious talk about everything. That means you have to choose a time where there will be no interruptions and that you can talk for hours if necessary. You both need to promised to each other not to fight, only to listen and talk like civilized humans.

There is obviously something wrong with the relation, and unless he doesn’t care and want to end it, he should agree and accept to talk to you. If so, you two need to try to understand what the other has to say, and then it will depend on you two on how things will be solved.

And this is the hardest part: even if he admits to be cheating, you must stay calm, and listen to him. Why? Because you need to find out why and if you are actually the problem (even if is not true, it might be a problem for him).

Maybe all this is exaggerated and there is actually nothing to worry about. Hopefully that will be the answer. But I don’t think that is going to be the case, so you have to be ready and prepared for anything bad.

I hope this can help, and wish you good luck.

Answer 4

I don't think you are going overboard. What is he out doing that would require him to ignore you. It is just pure selfish that he would rather be out doing whatever and not give you the common courtesy of a telephone call to say he is going to be late and then when you call him he acts as if you are bothering him. It is just disrespectful of him and I don't blame you. I would have changed the locks so he could not get in the house or better yet put his pillow and a blanket on the front step!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Stop playing games and act like an adult.

Sit down and talk to him.

Tell him how you fell and why. If he say he is going to be home at five then he need to be home at five or call you to let you know he will be later. Tell him it is call respect. And he is probably looking at porn to get back at you for taking all the pillows and blankets.

Answer 6

You both sound like you're 18 years old. You have done a good job sinking down to his level - but is this how you want your marriage to be? If you have certain standards of behavior, be clear about it, and slowly teach him to adhere to them - including by example. If you don't have enough maturity and patience to do that - you're going to be miserable in this marriage, as it sounds like you're married to a guy with an adolescent mentality. Help him grow up - or bail, and find a real man.

Answer 7

I think you are justified in doing all this. Even if he's at a bar with a male friend, he is cheating you of his time. I think you were also justified in blocking the porn sites on your computer. That takes time away from you as well. Everything you did serves him right. Hopefully he will see the error of his ways.

Answer 8

Are the two of you going to grow up and try to make your marriage work or are you both having too much fun making each other miserable? Can you remember why you wanted to be married to each other? It's time to stop the games and get serious about your relationship.

Answer 9

Seems to me you both are to busy playing games with each other to know what a marriage is all about. Maybe you should think about a separation or divorce. You should never stay in a relationship if your not happy.

Answer 10

sounds to me like he may have a drinking problem if he has to go out and not spend time with you .and kids?
no kids why arent you at the bar ?which one does he frequent?or turn spy and find out who he is with !something isnt right. i dont think he is telling u everything .