I am about 7 weeks pregnant and really can't decide whether or not to keep the baby. I have been thinking about nothing else for the last 2 weeks and can't come to a firm decision. I am 29 yrs old and things aren't exactly great with my boyfriend, we were on the verge of breaking up until I found out I was pregnant. (I have only been seeing him for 9 months) He really want's me to keep it. There are no real reasons why I shouldn't have a child, I mean I do want to have one at some point, I am just not really a "baby person" and I like my independance.
2007-03-14 05:07:35 · 35 answers · asked by alice C 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I was on the pill, however I realised that I had missed one and took the morning after pill unfortunately it didn't work
2007-03-14 05:17:28 · update #1
Well you only have so much time to decide on an abortion because after a certain stage in the pregnancy you're considered too far along. If you have the baby you could place it up for adoption, but here's where I am confused you say you're not a "baby person", but you want one at some point it's simple you want or don't want children. I would keep the baby, but if you got a strong support system behind you that makes it easier to be a single mother, but I wouldnt have your boyfriend around if he's not going to be a productive role in the life of your baby. Your child deserves a parent who is going to be there to raise him or her into a productive adult.
You're 29 too so you might as well consider the facts that once women get older the chances of them getting pregnant goes down especially when they reach their 40s where the risks are higher for women to concieve so try to have your children in your 20s and 30s. Don't stay with your boyfriend because of a baby because that will complicate things since couples staying together for the sake of a kid end up having more problems on top of having a child. It's better you guys end it, but your boyfriend needs to step up and handle his responsibilities.
2007-03-14 05:25:23 · answer #1 · answered by nabdullah2001 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is an unfortunate situation. I can't tell you how many young women there are in your situation...it's so sad. What are you planning to do with the baby if you aren't going to keep it? Are you thinking about destroying that little life or giving him/her up for adoption? I can't say it enough that abortion is NOT the right choice for anyone. The heartache and pain you will feel after it's over and gone will stay with you for the rest of your life. It may take awhile for you to process....it may even be when you finally decide you want to have a baby of your own and feel it kick for the first time and you realize that little guy is very much alive and you chose to kill his brother or sister. You don't want to go through that. It's too painful. I've held and comforted many friends who aborted babies only to suffer the pain and anguish of what they've done later. I don't want that for anyone.
If you aren't thinking of keeping the baby because you just don't feel like you can be a parent, I highly recommend you look into adoption. There are so many families out there desperate to have a baby and can't without someone giving them the gift of their child. It's really a beautiful thing. There are many different kinds of adoption from open adoptions with you being able to have some contact with the child to completely closed adoptions where you never have to see them again. They will still get to keep their lives and you can have a clear conscious knowing you helped make it all possible.
Before you consider ANYTHING though I suggest you see your doctor and at least look at the little heatbeat blinking away on the ultrasound. You'll be surprised how many people find out they are more of a "baby person" than they thought. (I did) Blessings and I'll pray for you!
2007-03-14 05:35:59 · answer #2 · answered by Heavenly Advocate 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to really consider all of your options and circumstances.
Think about the future of the child. Don't worry about whether or not your boyfriend will be around, if you are still together, that would be great, but if you will not be, will you be fine raising the child on your own? Will he at least still be a good father and provide child support and spend time with the child? Will you two be able to be decent to one another for the sake of the child? These are all things that need to be worked out if you want to have the child.
Where do you stand on abortion or adoption? Really think about these options and which will be the best. Either decision is a choice that only you can make. If you don't think that the child will have a good life with you, think about these options. Don't worry about what others say, think about what you can deal with, if you are ok with these options, then no one else should make you feel badly about them. No one can decide which choice you should make, only you can do that based on what you think would be best for you and the child.
2007-03-14 05:19:55 · answer #3 · answered by lisa.ramirez 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the father wants you to keep the baby, then by all means continue with this pregnancy!!!
If the father wants you to end the pregnancy, by all means -KEEP THE BABY!!
I really don't see what the choices are here. You had unprotected sex, you are 29 years old and know better, your boyfriend wants HIS baby, and you are being very selfish!
Have the baby, and if you just really can't fall in love with him/her --- which I HIGHLY doubt once you see baby's face and know there is NO other love like it in the world --- then give all parental rights up to baby's daddy!! He wants baby and will take care of baby!!
I understand, I REALLY DO, that this is a hard decision for you to make but I think you should have been taking better precautions if you did not want to be a parent. Having an abortion is not meant for birth control methods. I am a pro-lifer but since abortion is legal I honestly feel that those who use it for birth control methods should be sterilized!!! No more babies for you. If you get raped (and even then I'm tossed on the option) or there is a medical reason for baby to be aborted then that should be the only reasons to abort. NOT because you didn't think smart and use protection!!
Sorry. And I'm sure you will get a lot of harsh comments sent your way --- take them like a big girl and then come to a conclusion quickly!!! Do you know where your baby's development is at 7 weeks???? Go on line and check it out - that may sway your decision!!!!!!!!!
****OKAY, OKAY -- I'LL EDIT MY ANSWER SINCE I'VE SINCE READ YOUR ADDITIONAL DETAILS: I see that you were using birth control and commend you for that. I also see you said you missed a pill.....usually missing 1 pill won't get you pregnant though. Maybe there's more to that story?? Also, I DO like the fact that you tried the morning after pill to avoid your current status. Sorry to hear it didn't work out for you. Looks like you took measurements to avoid this baby but now that it's here - what? I think there is a higher power at work here---you know GOD. Maybe he thinks baby is the best thing for you at this point in your life. I don't know, but like I previously stated, you need to come to a conclusion quickly before you get yourself to a spot where there really aren't any choices!!! Good luck, honestly!!!!!!!
2007-03-14 05:20:23 · answer #4 · answered by momto3 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, you already made the mistake of not using adequate protection during sex. Don't compound it by taking this baby's life. You'll have a very hard time living with yourself if you do (and yes, I know this isn't going to be the popular answer.) You have several options here, you can have the baby and give it up for adoption, or if your boyfriend is not ok with that, then relenquish your parental rights to the child, and have him raise the child. If you're torn, that's basically your answer, unless you can come to a firm decision that you can be at peace with one way or the other, your best bet would be to have the baby.
Maybe this can be a catalyst for you and your boyfriend to examine your issues, and possibly build a relationship on--and no, I'm not saying get back together for the sake of the baby, but maybe re-evaluate your relationship here, and see if there's not something in it that cannot be salvaged. Seek counseling and professional help if needed.
Children can be one of the biggest blessings in your life. For whatever reason, this has happened to you, now your job is to try and learn from it. Best of luck to you.
2007-03-14 05:19:20 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well, I have been in your spot before. Only you can make the decision, but having a baby is a big responsibility. How on board is the father? And will he be willing to sign on for 50% of the work? The baby will be there for you both to raise and if he isnt willing to take it on then let him go....it takes alot of patience and love to raise a child. Now dont get me wrong...it pays you back ten fold also. A baby will limit your independence but it will not strap you down for the rest of your life, you just start to do other things that involve them. You know what you should do deep down inside...and if you feel that you cant provide for the baby then do the blessed thing to do...give it to some one who can give it the world. There is people out there that deserve to be parents but for some reason can not. Talk to a doctor, counsler, church minister, friends whom ever you feel comfortable with. If you have a strong circle of support then I say go for it....there is no love like the love of your own child. Hope this helps...
2007-03-14 05:24:54 · answer #6 · answered by Andrea L 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Of course you should have your baby. You are a 29 year old adult. You are old enough to know about protection and the like.
I am 26 and pregnant the first time. I have only been with my fiance for 10 months and I have never been a baby person either... but now that has all changed. My party days are out of the way and I have lived my own life. There comes a point where it is time to settle down and delve into new challenges.
A baby is a miracle in a circumstance.
2007-03-14 05:14:36 · answer #7 · answered by hollilynn 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It is you decision, because in the end you will have the ultimate responsibility for that child, if you decide to have it.
Ending a pregnancy can be very difficult to overcome, I recommend looking at post abortion web sites to get an ideal of what some women feel after they end a pregnancy. I promise you either decision you make will have an impact on your life, make a choice that you feel you can always live with. Go one day and pretend that you made the choice to end the pregnancy- how did it feel? Now for one whole day pretend that you have decided to keep the baby, give it a name , think about daycare arrangements, ways to spend time with the child, the other people that will assist you with the child, values and morals that you want to teach the child, laughing and playing with the child, child growing up becoming a teen-ager/ adult- which option seems more appealing- how do you feel? Just the ideal that many on the post are referring to the pregnancy as "baby", lets me know what the majority of the people may feel. WHAT DO YOU FEEL?
2007-03-14 05:34:20 · answer #8 · answered by doubletree 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You're never ready; that's why you get 9 months. I think you should have the baby. As time goes on, you can decide if you should keep it or give it up for adoption. It's time to face that there is no easy way out of this situation. Abortion isn't going to "undo" the past. At least let the baby live. Whether or not you keep the baby and/or the boyfriend are questions that can be dealt with in coming months.
2007-03-14 05:17:07 · answer #9 · answered by Stacey P 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
To me you should have the baby. You shouldn't kill another life because you don't want to have it. If the baby daddy is that bad then you should see how he would act around a child and if the shoe fits then stay wit him if he dosent fit the right baby daddy that you like leav him and take care of the baby on your own or find the man who will be there for you and the baby no matter what and that is real talk if you find one of those then he is a good one to keep!! Have it now before you get too old and wont want any kids at a certain age.
2007-03-14 05:20:47 · answer #10 · answered by adorable angel 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋