I subcontiously crave drama and have always been in dramatic relationships in the past. Now I am finally in a healthy one and I dont find it as exciting etc...
I dont feel like I "have to" hold his hand while walking in the mall cause maybe he was with that blonde last night. I know where he was last night cause he was with me....
So I feel as thogh I cannot "fall in love" with him current boyfriend who is so nice to me....What can I do to want this...I dont want to have to worry about cheating and lies when we are married, but I also want to feel that strong bond of love?!?!?
2007-03-14 04:52:26 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i think that a lot of us girls go for the "bad boys" because they seem more exciting -- what with their cheating, lying and abandoning us all of the time.
i have recently met someone who is caring and devoted. it's been a shock to my system.
perhaps after a while, you will fall in love with this man.... make a list of all his good points...
it's comforting to have someone who puts you first...!
2007-03-14 05:05:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I used to be the same way actually. The more drama, the better. I guess it was just an extension of the homelife I grew up with.
However, as I got older, and also got some much needed counseling to deal with various issues, I realized that desiring drame is not healthy. It takes way too much emotional energy to sustain that. Life is just too short and if you have a good man who loves you, why would you ever jeapordize that because he's not cheating on you and he is "too safe". OMG, do you know how many women only wish they had a man like that in thier lives?!!
Friend, work on your own emotional issues that are causing you to want the "roller coaster ride" relationships. The more you value and respect yourself, the less you ever want to put yourself into that kind of situation.
It is easy to love a good man. The hard part for you, is loving yourself enough to relaize that you deserve the best relationship life has to offer you. It sounds like you now have that. Don't lose it.
2007-03-14 12:00:51 · answer #2 · answered by Singthing 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've always been in situations or relationships that required you to be on your guard for so long, that it's become second nature to you....now that you've found yourself in a relationship that doesn't require this sort of behaviour, you feel at a loss with yourself.
This is very understandable...now you need to teach yourself all over again that this form of self protection is no longer needed. Counselling would be useful for you to re-learn how to do this.
I wish you the very best of luck.
2007-03-14 12:21:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just conditioned to think that love is a struggle. It hurts, it is a roller coaster ride....Am I correct?
Been there, done that.
It is YOUR problem.
Please don't take this the wrong way.
You need to get counseling.
You don't want to lose this man, believe me, I know EXACTLY what you are going through.
This isn't normal and it isn't your fault..BUT it is your cross to bear.
If you cannot afford counseling, get some self-help books.
Do some soul searching.
Good luck.
2007-03-14 12:05:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are out of your freakin mind Tell the BF From me to dump your sorry *** and QUICK
2007-03-15 01:42:36 · answer #5 · answered by markandharold1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not so normal. you want him to prove he loves you. but you want to work for it. so work for it.
2007-03-14 11:57:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋