Is anyone else terrified?

Question

I am scared as hell of becoming a parent.... dont get me wrong, I wanted adn planned for this but as I go along the pregnancy path, I have started worrying that I wont be a good parent or I wont instill good morals ect ect. I have alot of love for the wee thing that is growing inside of me, so much so that I can get quite emotional about it(hormones?or justa fool?)LOL

I worry that I wont be able to get that happy medium of being a friend to he/she but also be the voice of authority if and when a situation arises. Anyone else feel this way?

Answer 1

We all have that worry, i think. But think about the positives and as long as you are a good person and hold strongly in your values and beliefs, then you have nothing to worry about. Good luck and congrats! :)

Answer 2

Hi!

I think most people feel like this. Every person parents slightly differently and has a slightly different effect on their child - that's the beauty of life. You will certainly never be a bad parent, as you are on here worrying about it! It's those people that don't give a damn how they raise their kids that become the bad parents.

You will be absolutely fine. I think perhaps planning too much for this baby is making you a little over-anxious! Take advice from your own mother, or other parents around you. When your baby is born, take a mother and baby class so that you can be around other new moms and share your experiences :-)

Show your child a lot of affection, teach them to like hearing 'i love you' and to say it back, instil in them the values that you find important. You'll get used to it as time goes by. Just enjoy the experience of being a mommy - the child won't know if you aren't doing things perfectly if you put their first nappy on backwards. All they will care about is that they have a mommy that loves them.

Enjoy it and don't worry, you'll get used to it!

xx Emmie

Answer 3

I know exactly what you mean, and even now (pregnant with 4th child) I still get these sort of fealings. Am I doing the right thing? Am I being too hard on them? (when there naughty) I dont think that it ever stops. But I do think that all good parents wonder if the decisions they make in the upbringing of their child is the right ones. If we didn't then we would be saying that we know everything, and lets face it no one does, so we're right to question ourselves so we know that we are on the right path and that we are being true to ourselves in they way we hope our children will act and behave in their future lives and experiences.

Good luck and try not to worry about it too much as you'll worry enough (when they start to walk, first day at school, first date and more) later when your little bundle gets here.

Answer 4

Oh my gosh, I hear ya!

I'm not pregnant yet, but my husband and I just started TTC and there are times I am just scared to death about becoming a parent! I think everyone gets a little fearfull at times, its a big undertaking and shouldn't be taken lightly, so it's good that you're worrying about instilling good morals and being a good parent to your child!!

You really sound like a nice logical person, I'm sure you will do a great job with your little one on the way. Trust your instincts mom to be!!

Good luck!!

Answer 5

Yes, I feel the same way. I'm only two months gone with my first and both my husband and I are terrified.

Everyone is the same though and although it's not easy, you will be OK and you will get through it. Don't be scared to take advice from others (you don't have to act on it).

You are not a fool, your hormones have a lot to answer for!!!!

I have always said that I want my child to respect me and be open with me. If you teach them well and tell them to always be honest with you they are less likely to do things behind your back, on the other hand too much freedom could be asking for trouble. Just make sure that your child knows that you will always be there for them, and they must never be afraid to tell you anything.

All this is a long way off, enjoy your pregnancy and I'm sure you will be a wonderful mother!!!

Answer 6

A lot of mothers-to-be feel this way. I did when I was pregnant. You always think of the worst, sometimes even to the point of wishing that you lose the baby. It is fear of the unknown and the thought of responsibility for a human life for ever. Speak to family members or friends of your fears and worries and you will probably discover that you are not alone. Good luck with the pregnancy and enjoy yourself. We do not receive formal training to be a parent, although you can gain experience by being with other parents and their young children before your baby is born or reading books. Don't be afraid to receive advice, although it is up to you what advice you want to follow. Best to go with your own maternal instincts. I am sure you will be a great and caring Mum.

Answer 7

Yes, I know how you feel. It wasn't so bad until now...my oldest is turning 4 this month and I have a 2 year old and 7 month old. I'm now starting to realize that everything I'm doing as a parent now is affecting my kids, especially my oldest. She has a very fiery personality and won't listen, I feel like I spend so much time yelling that I barely get to be her friend. I guess you'll figure it out along the way. Or you'll read books, take parenting classes, and ask for advice along the way.

Answer 8

I've had that concern. But the good news is, the kid isn't going to be a teenager right away. As other parents have told me, they grow a little at a time, so you really get eased into the whole parenting thing.

For the first few months the only thing you have to worry about is feeding them and changing their diapers.

Answer 9

You wouldn't be human if you didn't have your doubts, Honey. Those people who don't have any fears about being a parent are usually those ones who end up doing a crappy job. I can't speak for anyone else, but I was incredibly nervous about becoming a Mother, but 8 years down the line I can look back at what I have done and feel proud. I've made many, many mistakes over the years, but all in all I'm pretty chuffed with my kids and I'm sure you will be too! (I mean with yours, not mine!) Good Luck.

Answer 10

These are just emotional and norma worries for a first time parent I went through the same thing. You figure it out. Just rememberthe things that your parents taught you, the things you liked and didn't like and just go from there. You will be a great mother. It comes naturally. So, try not to worry it's not good for the baby. Good Luck

Answer 11

Your job is to be a loving, caring, parent, not a friend. There is no happy medium about it. Sometimes you will just have to make decisions that your child does not like. Your child will love you without you trying to be his/her friend, trust me!
Your worries are normal though. I know it won't help the anxiety about it, but when you see that wee-ones face, you won't be worrying about these things. :)
The best thing you can do right now (proactively) is to read up on parenting to hone up on your skills! It won't teach you how to be a parent, but you'll find points you agree with and want to explore further..or ones you disagree with and want to avoid altogether. (ex. breastfeeding/bottle feeding, spanking/no spanking, etc.) Good luck, the fact that you even worry about it shows how serious you are about your job as a parent and you'll be a good one! ;)