Situation: Seven years in this relationship. 2 old friends of my wife have popped up strangely in the last couple of weeks. They've not been in her life for several years and when they were around they caused alot of chaos.
Background: One or perhaps both of these women relate well to her and they have good times. But they are both pathalogical liars with some deep emotional problems and various situations arose that moved them out of our lives. I know a few of their exes and it was not pretty.
At issue: I am a big believer in leaving people be who they are and I don't want to in any way control who she befriends. I am however, catagorically against these two women coming back around. Although I believe people can change, I also believe what is from the past should stay in the past. Why bother when we already know what they're made of?
2007-03-14 04:32:04 · 4 answers · asked by donewiththismess 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm going to have to agree with you. I have been in the situation where old friends have come around, and although at first it's sorta comforting, not long after you are reminded why they are "old friends." I say that you should sit down, talk to her, and just find out what she's needing right now. She's obviously hanging with them to fill something else that isn't being filled. Maybe she's dealing with age, or just wants to relive the glory days, but either way, you guys need to sit down and really get it out in the open.
You explain why you don't trust them, and give her the chance to explain why she's drawn to them. Make sure to tell her that your not saying she can't be friends with them, but that your concerned because they don't seem to be positive influences in your life together. I think it's important to make sure that both of you have the chance to say how your feeling, then find a middle ground. GOOD LUCK!
2007-03-14 04:41:08 · answer #1 · answered by Queenelizabeth79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The short answer to your question is no - one does not have the right to nix the other's friends.
HOWEVER, one does have the right to set parameters they are comfortable with before they have to make a choice to change the relationship. I would remind your wife of the things they did in the past and tell her what you are comfortable and uncomfortable with. If your wife can't comply, you may need to ask her to choose which relationship is more important, yours or theirs.
2007-03-14 04:42:41 · answer #2 · answered by It's Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its no longer too previous due for you... merely get out and rub shoulders with greater people. at last, the sparks will will fly and you will experience an unequalled sensation referred to as love with somebody who would be right for you... the factor approximately love is it is going to come your way once you least assume it... merely be real looking... those old cliches have been used plenty and for some years now by way of fact those old cliches have become truths greater circumstances than could remember... Love will detect a manner... Praying to God truly facilitates, too...
2016-12-14 18:54:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot stop your wife from being friends with these women. It is her decision who her friends are going to be and who she wants to be friends with. Telling her that she can't be friends with them is not a good idea.
However, you can tell her that you do not want to be around them and would prefer not to have them around the house. If she wants to go out with them, she can have a girls' night out without you.
Of course, it's possible she feels the same way you do, so you might want to talk to her.
2007-03-14 04:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by Heather Mac 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋