Without hurting his feelings.. his wants....
Do I have to instill the fear of God in him?
14 years of age..
2007-03-14 04:19:58 · 5 answers · asked by suriapandi s 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Don't worry about hurting his feelings or his wants. That sounds to me like that is what his problem is. You have been tiptoeing around trying not to upset him. No no no...you are the parent, not the buddy or best friend and parents sometimes have to be tough. Fourteen is getting a very late start. I don't know if you raised him to believe in God or not but the Bible says to beat them while there is still time and it also says don't provoke them to anger, so therein lies the balance. It is normal for them to start pulling away at that age so if he is not doing illegal things don't worry about that part. We all go through that. Pray for him and with him and let him know you love him but you will not be disrespected. The Ten commands tell us to honor our parents. If he needs counseling then make sure it is a Christian counselor as the Scriptures tell us to not take counsel from the ungodly. His friends at this age will probably have more pull on him than you so hopefully he is in a situation where he has decent friends. Make sure he has chores and don't buy him anything unless he earns it in some way. I wish you will and my prayers are with you. Mmm
2007-03-14 04:55:23 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too late now...he is what he is. There is still hope but you have got to remember and frequently remind this once blank slate person who the parent and who the child is. Teach by your actions that respect is a given that is always present and goes both ways. Get over the not wanting to hurt his feelings...in the process of molding a child into an adult those raging hormones have hurt feelings and tears present. They learn right away that a Hershey bar is way better than green peas...and of course they are right...when the parent says they can be right.
At that age they are testing the aforementioned theory to see if they can get you to cave. The rules are the rules day in and day out and are not subject to change when whining and constant badgering are present. Open honest discussion is done, not in the moment of need via demand, but in the course of pre-recognized maturity and ability.
2007-03-14 11:47:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is be CONSISTENT. Children learn and are reinforced by whatever you do. If he breaks a rule, you tell him you're going to punish him, and then don't...well you've just reinforced to him that he can get away with it next time. Also be praiseworthy of what he does well. Maybe he just needs some parental attention. But be consistent and follow through. If he loses privileges follow through. If he does something good, follow through. Its called behavioral modification and is an effective therapy technique.
2007-03-14 11:27:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rebellion is a common phase for a teenager to go though. it can be seen throughout the ages of civilization.
one way that can be done... i belive that a teenager gets rebellious because they are trying to prove that they are capable of dealing with adult problems and are tired of being treated like a kid. from this mabe if you give him some responisbility and treating him like an adult then he will be less rebellious and less inclined to rebel
2007-03-14 11:28:57 · answer #4 · answered by ldsironman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps a new perspective is in order. Take him to a foreign country, and let him live there for a few months. It takes time to discover what and who you are, to understand that your parents are trying to guide you in the right direction. Right now there are so many voices, MTV, the real world, calling the shots. Get him away from that crap and he will satisfy what is burning inside-passion.
2007-03-14 11:32:35 · answer #5 · answered by Menga M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋