I subcontiously crave drama and have always been in dramatic relationships in the past. Now I am finally in a healthy one and I dont find it as exciting etc...
I dont feel like I "have to" hold his hand while walking in the mall cause maybe he was with that blonde last night. I know where he was last night cause he was with me....
So I feel as thogh I cannot "fall in love" with him current boyfriend who is so nice to me....What can I do to want this...I dont want to have to worry about cheating and lies when we are married, but I also want to feel that strong bond of love?!?!?
2007-03-14 04:17:47 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
OK, I am a little but not too concerned for you because when I was 17-22 I loved the same lifestyle as you are wanting right now. In fact, I was in many of them and my life was absolutely hectic but fun and spontaneous. I never knew what was going to happen next. Yes, as already said in one of your other responders, this comes from the lifestyle you were raised in.
Truth is, when you find that true love, you will know it. It will make you sacrifice your drama and want to settle down with that right guy and have kids with dogs and cats and have a regular routine. I reached that point at 22 and have been with the same guy since and have 4 children and have never been happier with the stability.
If you settle for one of these guys who is just using you as a doormat and have children with him, you will regret it for the rest of your life. You need to be very careful about getting pregnant until you find the right one and as long as you do this, what the heck, Go For It. Enjoy the excitement while you can have it because most women who settle in to early or for that first nice guy that comes along, you'll end up wanting to spice things up and being a cheater and hurting someone innocent.
One thing you can do is try giving this gentleman a chance because seems like he really likes you and treats you with respect. Respect for yourself is the "TRUE" first key in building a stable life for a family. Good luck.
2007-03-14 04:33:00 · answer #1 · answered by Tell It Like It Is! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust is very important. As for bonding, that comes with time, and getting to know each other. Love doesn't always happen at first sight. Lasting love can take a long time to develop. Drama, is what you're used to, and isn't healthy. Give yourself time to get used to a normal relationship and you'll be surprised by how much you enjoy it. Just take your time, and let things evolve on their own. If this is the man you're meant to spend the rest of your life with, it will happen, just be patient. Good luck!
2007-03-14 11:27:10 · answer #2 · answered by grandm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you don't really love this boyfriend. Maybe you grew up in a household where there was always a lot of crisis and now you can't function without crisis. You call it drama but it's the same thing. If you don't seek some sort of counselling to help you sort out your feelings you'll end up back pedalling in all your relationships.
2007-03-14 11:22:59 · answer #3 · answered by bombastic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chrissy,
Sounds like you have a great guy. What you are going though is normal after dating such bad men. You see all you need to do to let yourself to "fall in love" with this guy is give yourself permission to. I know it's crazy but I have been there. When you date loser on top of loser and the all the drama and insanity that develops and then eventually you start to feed off of it, because that's at least something that feels real. It's OK, smile, you have a good one. Say to yourself, "It's okay to fall in love with (whatever his name is)." Then, the next time you see him, look at him with eyes of a woman who forgot all about those losers. See your guy for the real man he is. Let it happen. Good luck. :)
2007-03-14 11:26:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nope, not crazy!
'Drama' can be terribly addicting! Ask yourself a few more questions (preferably in a journal) like maybe...what is it I REALLY want? Also get busy! Find things that excite & amuze yourself that DON"T involve relational drama...try volenteering, take a new class, focus your energy on something positive. Mostly, be true to yourself, after all, this guy may or may not be "the ONE"
Have fun!
2007-03-14 11:24:08 · answer #5 · answered by mikki_doo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW, you sound like I am now.....lol. I used to be drawn to relationship that was consumed with DRAMA, b/c that was how I was taught to have a relationship. Now at 31 and starting over, I am dating a guy that is totally different. I have been living a DRAMA free life for about 3 years now, so I want to continue that in a relationship, but its hard. Now the guy that I am dating is calm......lives drama free and I love it. I just had to explain that to him and ask him to help me. I understand how it can seem boring if there is no drama, but trust me......there are better things to have in a relationship then DRAMA......just relax and enjoy it...... Also, talk to him about it, maybe he can help you with your feelings......Peace!
2007-03-14 11:23:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start looking inside for the answer to that one and then look at your life up until this point. Was it filled with chaos and abuse and fighting? If this is the case, then you are more comfortable in that because it's all you know. Once you educate yourself to the calm and loving atmosphere you will begin to crave that as well.
2007-03-14 11:26:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to mature... If wild unpredictable men are the only ones that excite you, be ready for a long life of misery.
2007-03-14 11:22:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Drama doesn't mean love. But if you need the drama then you are with the wrong man.
2007-03-14 11:20:45 · answer #9 · answered by kingsgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be careful not to cause your own drama and sabotage of a good relationship. it is a concious choice, you have to decide over and over again to be who you want to be. after awhile you will become who you want to be.
2007-03-14 11:27:34 · answer #10 · answered by CATWOMAN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋