My wife recently implied in a fight that she loves her mom and her family more than shes loves me....and I get the feeling that if she had to choose sides she would go with her mom instead of me. I really am crushed by this because I have worked so hard (she is still a student and I support her with a full time job, she doesnt make a dime) and sacrificed so much for her (broke off long-term 6+year male friendships and moved into a less-than-affordable apartment) and I feel like it amounts to nothing now.......!!!! Extremely frustrating....
Is this normal for a wife to think this way?? I would never ever ever put my parents before my wife, so why should she? I have devoted myself to her compeltely, but then she gives me the idea that she is more devoted to her mom than me? Has anyone else run into this problem?
2007-03-14 04:14:12 · 9 answers · asked by jebul 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Re: person below asking about argument.
We were arguing over taxes. We just got married last summer. Before I could file our first joint return and save a couple thousand dollars in taxes for us, her mom went behind my back without asking myself or my wife and filed her families taxes for 2006 and still claimed my wife as their dependent (despite the fact that my wife moved out of her house and in with me in 2005).
I was obviously infuriated when my joint return was rejected because of her mom claiming her before I filed and this lead to alot of fighting over who should claim who....it wasnt pretty and my wife has been less than helpful with the entire situation.
In the end, my wife claims that her parents have done alot for us (paid for half of the wedding, paid for her 5k a year college) and that I should not be so upset with what her mother did behind my back. She took her mother's side in the disagreement and refused to answer me when I asked who she loved more.....
2007-03-14 04:41:39 · update #1
Since she feels that way, let her mom support her.
2007-03-14 04:17:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is the argument that has brought her mother into your marriage? Sounds like something is being left out.
Are you putting her in a position of having to choose? A good healthy relationship with mother and daughter is a good thing unless she is trying to run your lives,which was not said.
What is really the underlying problem?
2007-03-14 04:24:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds hard. Of course your wife is drawn to her mom because she's known her for a lot longer then you...but once you get married, your first priority always becomes your mate. It is sad she is doing this and it's got to be rough on you. The best thing would be to discuss it with her and explain how things are going...maybe she doesn't realize how much you've sacrificed to make her happy - and it's certainly time for her to return the favor.
2007-03-14 04:19:51 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are different types of love. She will love her mom more than you in ONE way, and she will love you more than her mom in another way. When we marry, we are SUPPOSED to leave our mother and father, and become ONE with our spouse. Her loyalty is NOT to her parents, but to YOU (supposed to be). She showed her childishness by saying such a thing to you. I think she needs to grow up some. On the other hand, you have been a little foolish to give up EVERYTHING for her. I mean, we are to "forsake all others", but to give and give and give, without them giving as much in return.....sounds like YOU may be headed for a heartache. When are you going to let HER give? Sounds to me like she is doing all the TAKING, and you are doing all the GIVING. I wish you all the best.
2007-03-14 04:32:30 · answer #4 · answered by lcamel2000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have given her too much, she is acting like a spoiled brat. Maybe it's time you do things that make you happy and the heck with how she feels about it. Look up that old friend and tell him you would like to make a mends. She shouldn't be putting anyone before you....
2007-03-14 04:20:37 · answer #5 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send her home to her momma. that is not normal sounds like you're there just to pay the tab while she is in school i would be very interested to know what she is doing and with whom while you are busting your butt to support her she does not love you like a wife should fer sure.
2007-03-14 04:40:11 · answer #6 · answered by bluemist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She loves you both. It is two difference kinds of love
2007-03-16 04:27:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so sorry for your pain...yes this is wrong...hubby and kiddos come before anyone else
2007-03-14 04:22:03 · answer #8 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so sorry for your pain, let her mum support her!
2007-03-14 04:26:18 · answer #9 · answered by jasmine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋