Am i being selfish for possibly not wanting any kids later on??

Question

I don't think i'll be having children. i have many personal reasons for this. i'll just cut to the chase. it is selfish of me to possibly not want any kids in the future??? My family says it is just because they think i only care about the money i will make on my own, which is not one bit true. i dont even have an income yet!! im 17!

Answer 1

Having children is selfish. People usually only have children for two reasons. One being that they have unprotected sex, the other being that they want them to fulfill their personal wants.

I knew I didn’t want children from the day I was old enough to understand the process (at about 8). I started having sex young, so I sought a vasectomy. I got one at 21. I am now 40, and don’t regret it one bit. I know a lot of other men that did the same. My girlfriend had her tubes tied at 27. I met her when she was 34.

We will be able to do things that most people can’t because we don’t have the financial burden of children!

Answer 2

You sound like the smartest person on the surface of the planet. Being born here is not a good thing. You are short lived and suffer and then die. If you don't do right you go to hell and suffer forever? So would that be a good thing?
We are over populated and children are the ones most responsible for the abuse of the elderly. They are the ones who take what you have and put you in an old folks home.
Or worse keep you there and torture you.
There is no way I would want to have a child.
So that he can grow up at a time when some third world country gets nuclear weapons. To see this world blown up.

Answer 3

In a word, no, it is not selfish for you not to want children. You say that you have "many personal reasons" for your choice. I of course don't know what they are, but I'm sure you have thought about them. No matter what these reasons are-- maybe you're planning on a lifestyle where you travel a lot and wouldn't be home for your kids, maybe you don't particularly like kids, maybe you can see yourself honestly as a person who wouldn't be a good mother/father, maybe you're seventeen and have a million other things to think about (like college or your job) besides procreating!-- children are a *huge* responsibility, and anytime someone takes on a responsibility that they don't want bad things happen.

It would be a good idea to talk with your parents (in a neutral time and place) *why* they think having children is so important. Now here's the hard part: you have to really *listen* to them if you want them to listen to you. If they explain their position in light of continuing the family, you could (calmly!) point out that your sibling(s) (if you have them) can take care of that. Some friends of mine whose parents have pressured them similarly have been given religious explanations concerning why they should have children. In this case, tell your parents how you intend on doing "God's will" in other ways: volunteering in a shelter or doing church work, for example. Remind them that there are many ways of being devout, and that while you don't have any desire (don't feel a "calling", as it were) for children, you still love your family and intend on being a dutiful son/daughter, sibling, and relative.

If your parents give you grief for your choice, remind them that you have your reasons and that you'd be happy to explain them, but you think it is very disrespectful of them to dismiss you by assuming bad things about you (like, that you're greedy for money). Maybe it would be beneficial to remind them that, after all you *are* only seventeen, and maybe someday you'll change your mind and have kids or adopt. (Even if you're 99.9% sure this is never going to happen, you might as well say it to keep the peace. It certainly won't hurt anything.)

In the end, respect is key here. Pressuring someone to have children when they say they don't want them is rude, and casting aspersions on that someone by insulting their character is doubly so. However, it is up to you to take the higher road in trying to understand your family's motivation, or else the badgering will never stop. And remember: there's nothing selfish about not wanting a responsibility you don't think you can handle. That's humility.

Answer 4

LOL!
When I was 17, I said I didn't want kids. and I was absolutetly right at the time. I was TOO YOUNG. I also didn't have unprotected sex, well, sex for that matter, and I made sure that I was up to date on Birth Control, Condoms, etc...

when you meet the guy you want to spend forever with, you may change your mind. If not, Its a personal decision and its not selfish. Being selfish would be having them and not being able to help them, Or getting pregnant multiple times and just aborting them.

Your young! You have soooo much time!

Answer 5

Dude, there's no pressure to start having kids right away when you're a kid with no money. That woud be crazy. However, I think you're just experienceing a little worry about the future. You're not always going to be broke. You'll get settled soon enough and then maybe you'll have second thoughts about not having kids. Just take life one day at a time. =)

Answer 6

It is incredibly unselfish. Why would it be? And in reference to my question you answered, I do not think that people shouldn't have ANY children, obviously because we would go extinct, but the extreme amount of children people are having when there are such wonderful advances in medical technology is absurd. So whether you choose not to have any, or change your mind and have a couple later, at least you have thought about the future and understood the possibilities and facts.

Answer 7

We are over populated and having a child is something that should require though not just inserting object A into port B and being done with it.

I agree a lot with the above poster it is slefish to of people to impose there will on you and at 17 your head is in the right place for now live you life have fun when you are ready to get married( assuming you want to) having childrin will a mutual decision .

Answer 8

If you don't want kids don't have kids. It's not selfish. Some people aren't good parents and shouldn't have kids. Some of those wanted kids and some didn't. If you don't want kids don't have them; if you didn't want kids but did have them you might resent or neglect them.

I am actually proud of you for deciding not to pass on your genes. (Not that I am doubting your genes or insulting you.) the world is overpopulated. I think more people need to stop having children or start using birth control. We cannot sustain this level on our precious planet.

Answer 9

It is selfish of your family to expect you to have kids if you do not want them.

No one should have children if they are not 125% invested in the idea and what it will entail. It would be selfish to not think of the lives of these less than loved children.

In the end, that is a choice that your opinions alone weigh in on.

Answer 10

First of all, you are too young to make this kind of a decision right now.

Second, regardless of your decision now or later, your family needs to get off your back and realize this. You may never have children...if not, that's okay. It's a total personal decision and just because having children is right for some doesn't make it right for all.