He would have been our first baby. My husband is in Iraq, and he can't make it home. Is there anything i can say or do to make him feel any better? I have already sent the one pic I have of Cody. Anything would help. As hard as it is for me, I feel like he's having an even harder time than I am because he can't be here. Thanks
2007-03-14 04:05:50 · 21 answers · asked by sarah h 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Sarah
Take care of yourself--talk with him when you can and let your heart guide you on how you handle things with your guy-- but-- don't be worrying too much about HIM-- believe me here-- as an ex-combat veteran--- I can tell you-- he has people nearby that are the best God ever gave a soul to lean on and hold him up against damn near anything that is--- and these guys have a way of being there like no one could possibly believe !! When the way gets as dark as can be imagined one of these dudes will be there with a candle !! On that you can rest assured !! They have a vested interest in one another like few people on the planet--- and it is a to the core heart felt thing !!! So, ease your heart and mind about him and settle in on finding that someone near YOU to be that go-to person YOU lean on---- and their bound to be somewhere near !!
I truly am sorry for this for you--- and, I can tell you this one thing for sure --- you may not think so at times -- but everyone has things come their way that causes one to reel from the blow-- sometimes it takes us all the way down to our knees-- but-- with just a touch of faith and a little guts to get up yet again--- there IS a brighter day around the corner !!
Better Days to YOU here---- Love to you, for YOUR sacrifices in all that is going on overseas-- a lot of us know of the hardships this has got to have been for you-- and many of us see YOU guys-- the ones that wait for their people to return -- as heros of their own sort --- and you ARE appreciated for it -- more than you'll probably ever know !!!!!!
2007-03-14 04:29:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry for the pain, discouragment, sadness, and suffering you and your husband are going through. Im sorry for your loss. I wish you the best out of life, and God will bring you a miracle again someday when the time is right. I would say maybe you should pray. That might help. Im not sure exackley what your husband can do since hes all the way in Iraq. I say wait til he gets home and then share what you lost together. This must be very hard for you and I am sad for you. I wish you the best of luck!
2007-03-14 04:21:26 · answer #2 · answered by FutureMrsBeck 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry for you're loss. I know that it must be so hard on you. Not having your husband here with you.
And it's equally hard on him because he knows that he cant be home with you.
Is there anyone over there that can give him some counselling? Or is there anyway that he can get some sort of leave? I mean, it is a death...so maybe they will understand.
And as for yourself, if you're having a hard time, to be afraid to seak some counselling also. It's hard having your husband gone all the time...and now this.
When he does get back. Be sure to spend quality time together. You will both need it!
Once again,
I'm so sorry
2007-03-14 04:14:11 · answer #3 · answered by dreamcatcher 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Woah! I can't imagine going through that alone!
I also can't imagine our US military not getting a man home to his wife and deceased child?? That's very unusual. Leaves a big puzzle in my mind. As an ex-military wife, I know they take care of their own, and I have never heard of something like this happening. There must be extreme circumstances you are not giving about your husband. That's ok.....You seem like a very strong, and UNselfish person to be thinking of him moreso than yourself! I would want to crawl in a hole and give up.....but you are only worried about your husband. That says alot about your relationship.....The strength and bond you two have will get you through this. I know the military offers any service needed to it's people, so make sure your husband checks into some counseling services while he's there. I pray for you and your husbands safe return. Allow yourself to grieve....it's ok. But also focus on things to come in the future for you and your husband.
2007-03-14 04:34:03 · answer #4 · answered by Jenintn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. It has to be troubling to both of you, made even more so by the separation you are currently enduring.
I think you both will need to talk about this. I would recommend you finding a support group (your hospital can put you in touch with some) and others who you trust to listen to you. Relay these concerns, comments, questions and conversations to your husband in letters, so he can feel that he is hearing some of the words that are being spoken to you about your son. Communication between the two of you is now more important than it has ever been in your marriage.
I know it doesn't help, but I have a cousin who lost her first two babies to miscarriages, one being still born about the same time. She was wracked with all sorts of feelings, from anger to guilt to denial, but she got through it with the help of her friends and family simply by talking, crying and sharing.
She now has three beautiful healthy children, as you can one day as well.
Best of luck.
2007-03-14 04:18:40 · answer #5 · answered by apleyden 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i am so so so sorry for u and your husband i don't know what it is like to have a stillborn. but i think you could tell him how much u love him and it is OK. I'm not good at this but maybe u should not let him know how much it bothers u. just let him dill with it. it s hard being there and not knowing what would have happened if he was there. maybe he wishes that he was there for u maybe this is why he fails Riley bad ( that and b/c of the baby). God will help. once again i am so sorry.
2007-03-14 04:14:35 · answer #6 · answered by linda s 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hI am so sorry for you both. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. Especially being apart from each other. God Bless you both and your baby.
I would try to keep in touch with him as much as possible for him and yourself. There are support groups here for you, but I am not sure what he can do out there. God this is awful!
He will be ok though and so will you eventually. He has to be a strong guy out there fighting for all of us, and you are a strong woman at home supporting him and being alone!
Keep up your strength and pray. I wish I could say more, but I am truly sorry!
2007-03-14 04:22:23 · answer #7 · answered by qpook 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh I am soo sorry for your loss! Its soo hard all you can do it to keep communication open between you -email each other when ever possible. Take care of yourself and encourage him to do the same. The hurt will never completely go away but it will get better-more tolerable! He is probably feeling like he's done something wrong because he cant be here but tell him you understand he had no choice.
2007-03-14 04:20:40 · answer #8 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-18 08:54:34 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is devastating to suffer the loss of your child. I give you and your husband my deepest sympathy. You may find support, comfort and help to resolve your grief from a group called, "Compassionate Friends". They are people, like yourself who have lost a child.
The Compassionate Friends is a national nonprofit, self-help support organization that offers friendship, understanding, and hope to bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings. There is no religious affiliation and there are no membership dues or fees.
The secret of TCF's success is simple: As seasoned grievers reach out to the newly bereaved, energy that has been directed inward begins to flow outward and both are helped to heal. The vision of The Compassionate Friends is that everyone who needs us will find us and everyone who finds us will be helped.
2007-03-14 04:13:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋