I totally don't get this.....?

Question

Why do women have to push the marriage issue? I have been with my, ok what to call him, hmm been living together for 5 years, no marriage certificate, ok my husband. Why do you have to have a legalized peice of paper stating you are married? Why can most women not be happy with the level of commitment from a man that is equal to marriage? You know, living together,home, joint accounts, children. If a woman wants marriage shouldnt she maybe take the time to explain to the guy before hand that she is going to be pushing this issue? Perhaps maybe I am wrong here, but it is 2007 and it seems common law marriages are making progress? What do you think?

Your right as far as benefits after death, but we live in a common law recognised province, or get legal papers drawn up. Easy solution to that.

Marriage is the union of a man and a woman, creating a new entity...a new “whole” (one flesh). This union is brought about by a mutual commitment before God (expressed through a public vow today) to forsake all others, to keep themselves only unto their new partner, and to act in the best interest of the other (to love), and to seek to fulfill God’s purposes for their lives as a new unit. This commitment is to last as long as they both shall live (1 Corinthians 7:39).

Can the commitment before God be done with out the legal paperwork?

Answer 1

If you don't agree with what marriage represents for the other person then neither of you will agree. If someone wants marriage, there is nothing wrong with it. Marriage is beautiful and wonderful with the right person.
If you don't intend in honoring what the other person wants then I would come out and say that so the other person can make their life-plans accordingly.

Love is about compromise, if you're so committed and the other person wants "marriage" why not do it?
Marriage is largely a social acceptance issue and it doesn't matter what year we're in. There are some things that should never change, like the sanctity of marriage.
It is what holds the values of this country intact. What gives our children stability, solidifies everything. And you know why all politicians are married?
NOBODY TRUSTS A MAN WHO CAN'T GET A WOMEN TO STAND HIS BUTT

Answer 2

I believe that you can have a "marriage" without a certificate, but you will be the only person who recognizes it. Because you can bet your butt the government won't when the time comes.

I am married but I had a traditional wedding. Why, you may ask? Because I wanted to say my vows to my husband in front of everyone we love. I wanted to look him in the eyes and tell him that I will be with him forever.

Besides that little piece of paper is a security thing. What if your "husband" dies? You have no claim on his estate. If you are not married you can not be his next of kin if something happened and he is in the hospital. You can make no decisions regarding his treatment or fulfilling his wishes. That is a pain if his family doesn't care for you. And the same goes for him. That little piece of paper means a lot. If it didn't do you think gay marriage would be such an issue?

Answer 3

Common Law is fine but it may lack teath when it comes to legal action. If one spouse works and supports the family financially when there is a split then the second spouse is left without an income, and perhaps without a place to live if the house is in the working spouses name. Getting a mariage certificate shows that in the eyes of the comunity and the law that you are partners working together for a common goal, and if things go wrong and you do split up you have legal recourse to get your fair share, of what was earned during the marriage.

Answer 4

Here's the flaw. This isn't a level of commitment that is equal to marriage. He could drain the bank accounts and walk out the door tomorrow and there isn't a thing you could do about it. You could do the same thing to him, too.

Marriage is a commitment to each other, sanctified both by a legal authority and (in most cases) by God.

Common law marriages, even in community property states like mine (Texas) are not on the rise, and cleverer lawyers are finding larger and larger loopholes to exploit.

I'll be frank. You aren't married. You are living together. Tell me something; what is YOUR FEAR OF MARRIAGE? After all, you claim it is just a piece of paper. Why not get that piece of paper, then?

I'm married. I waited until I was 45 to get married, but I spent a lot of time finding the woman of my dreams (I had previous engagements). I found her, and I'm the happiest guy on the planet.

Edit: Saw your addition. Hmmm, sounds like I'm right and you are just afraid of marriage. I'm sorry.

Answer 5

If you are happy with a common law marriage more power to you. I was not so I told my live in that and we got married. I do think that there are some common law marriage other there that are more loving and real then the one with the piece of paper. one of the reason I want a piece of paper was for legal reason. I did not want my parent to tell my husband that he could not make medical decisions just because of a piece of paper and knowing my family they would. But I did not push it. I told my husband from the first day we moved in that I was looking for marriage.

Answer 6

Mariage is a public commitment and for some women that is important. I know quite a few single mothers and I think most of them would really like to have a man actually love them so much that they would make this commitment.
You say marriage is a piece of paper, well so is the signature on a mortgage, etc etc. It all means something - a commitment, and to each other.
And if you're not prepared to make this commitment, why not? The biggest duty we all have is to our children, why are we so afraid to give them this small thing?

Answer 7

Marriage is more than a slip of paper. You can have all the joint accounts you want - if something happens to him, the legal game is more complicated unless you are legally married.

I haven't ever been one to hound after a ring... or a ceremony.

But, there is a higher level of committment with a legal marriage than there is living together, or common law. Besides, there are many states that don't recognize common law marriages.

Answer 8

When he marries someone else and you have leave with just the shirt on your back...you will disagree.

You will also disagree when someone else will be collecting the benefits that you should had (such as health insurance, social securituy benefits, pensions and retirement).

You will not be 25 forever and when you are old and gray you will need pensions, social security, health insurance, survivor benefits etc.

If he kicks the bucket you get NADA. Hmmm at 70 I'm sure you could use his retirement money to pay for your prescriptions and Depends.

Not to count legal battles in between out of wedlock children... you have to get to court to get a dime of his state if he gets married to someone else.

Sure, it works while youa re on your 20's, but marriage is about growing old together and building for your golden years. You will want someone to help you get your pills and push your wheel chair, don't you? Or else waste your youth on someone that doesn't want to "totally marry you" and then live alone with fifteen cats as an old maid.

Good luck

Answer 9

every state is different when it comes to recognizing a couple's live-in situation as a "common law" marriage -- and in some states there is no such thing.

i guess everyone has a different idea of committment... to some, marriage is more than a peice of paper. for others, a live-in arrangement with committment is enough.

i dont' know that "most women" are unhappy just living together versus marriage... i think it depends upon the person and how secure they might be (financially as well as emotionally).

i am sure there are any number of reasons a person would want to get married.

i am open to living together or getting married.. it would depend upon how i felt....hell, maybe i'd just opt to live in my own place!! ha ha

some people push every issue -- and can't seem to come to terms with the wishes of others. it's probably not a good idea to become involved in a relationship with someone who can't accept us for who we are.

Answer 10

I agree with you, you don't have to be married to have a committed, loving relationship. But, I'm a stay at home mom (or will be in a few months) and my husband has a good job. We need to be married for me to be on his insurance. As far as your common law marriages go, sure, that's great, but they're not acceptable everywhere. See, I look at your situation and you seem perfectly content being with your partner and not being married and that's cool, it works for you. I would never think less of someone who's not married and living together when both people want it that way. Problem is a lot of times, people are not upfront with the fact they never want to get married.