My Husband talks to his female friend when I'm not around. We've been married for about 7 months?

Question

He talks to this one particular female that he's known for like 4 or 5 years. She has a boyfriend and has kids, I've never met her or really know anything about her. She and my husband talk on the phone, usually on his lunch breaks when he's at work or they text eachother. I don't see him talking to her infront of me, only one time when we were at the mall when she called and he told her he was with me shopping and he will call later. She called him back later that night. Why would she call back after telling her he would call her. I do feel unconfortable about her calling alot. He doesn't pick up the phone when she calls when he's at home with me. Just one time when I was in the bedroom. I asked questions about her and he told me there just friends. I mean I don't have a problem of him talking to her, but not all the time. He doesn't volunteer anything about her. I seen his phone records and text messages. I don't answer his calls as he rather have it ring. I don't know what to do?

I want to talk to him more about it but I feel that I am just taking his female friends away, as his ex is now out of the picture.

I know we're not best friends and sometimes I feel that he has a better friendship with his female friends than with me.

Answer 1

you should express to him that you don't feel comfortable with him always talking to her especially when your not around ask him why does he never talk to her when you are around? maybe you should hang out with her get to know her and what she is all about if you haven't already done so....also i would ask your husband "does her boyfriend mind you talking to her all the time"? does your husband talk to his guy friends that much cause if he doesn't than that's a problem cause if that's just how he is than maybe there good friends but if he only talks to her all the time like that than sorry to say something might be going on....also if he always gets off the phone with her when you come around than it could be two things 1. he doesn't want to be rude and talk to someone while you are around 2.or they talk about things that would show that he is cheating. also if she is such a good friend of his than she should of asked him and you if it was okay to talk to your husband that much you know asked you if it bothered you cause if she isn't willing to ask that and if he hasn't asked you that than that is disrespectful and not thinking of your feelings and something might be going on. She should realize that you and him are a family and that there has to be distance between friends and the mate especially when they are the opposite sex.

Answer 2

I am married and in my opinion it is not appropriate to have a relationship with the oposite sex when you are married. It's fine to be friends but to be spending so much time together is not right. You just don't put yourself in those situations out of respect for you partner. Come on - you are a woman - you know this other woman likes your husband. and what would your husband do if you spent so much time talking to another man? The fact that you have never met her and he doesn't talk to her in front of you just puts up a big RED flag. You need to talk to your husband and just let him know how you feel. She is calling him way too much - you need to nip this in the bud now. And if he doesn't do anything then you need to call her. Be calm and direct. If that doesn't work - hire a private detective. Because if he is willing to risk your marriage over just a friend then something more is going on!

Answer 3

DIng Ding Ding. The answer is: HE'S CHEATING. You have so many clues. I had a friend who was marry ;we had been friends for about 2 years. We had sex a lot when he got off work, on lunch breaks, if she went out of town, in the car at parks. (quickies) His wife diden't even have a clue.We would probably still be having sex if I didn't have a boyfriend. He doesn't answer the phone around you ;that's how my friend was. He said he didn't want to here is wife mouth. She calls on lunch breaks. I use to call him too on lunch breaks; that's about the only time we had time to talk when she wasn't around. 9 out 10 if you think he is cheating he is. Answer his phone one day and if he run behind you like he is crazy; he's cheating. Remember, just because she got a boyfriend and kids doesn't mean she doesn't want your man. Honestly, I don't think they are going together ;but they still have sex and probably meet up occasionally for coffee etc... I got to stop. I could go on for days.LOL Anyways, I know you are hurting but just pray about it . Remember this: what's done in the dark will come to light. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Yes you do know what to do,just talk to him and tell him how you feel, how annoying it is to know that his already married and still talking to this friend that he gives the attention to. You can also tell your husband that he needs to stop communicating with her even if she's only his friend. A friend do not bother other couple just to have chit chat behind your back.And also tell him that it's time for you to meet this woman who he gives so much time on the phone. Normal man that have friends even if its female or not do not keep in touch that often. If after talking to your husband and he say no you can't meet her,then why don't you go and see her,talk to her and if you need to be rude to her,do it after all you are married to the man that she's trying to steal from you.
now I'm going to tell you something and you can go and think if my experience can and will help you. My husband of 22 long years met a female friend on a dating site,which he joined 4 months ago,which he lied on his profile, anyway to make long story short, I caught him having an affair to this married woman as well, theday that I found out he called the wh##e and told her to lie to me and just say that they were only friends,which I never believed, talking about talking on the phone,they talk 24-7 for 2months till I caught them. So do you think men will not lie just to keep that thrill on having another woman??Think about it and just follow your intstinct.
Oh! this man that I married still trying to ask for second chances which I can't give him.....if you want to talk,I'm here to listen and will tell you how to approach his friend.......

Answer 5

Ask to meet her. Suggest lunch for all four of you. you never know you may just have another friend right in front of you. Afterall I was once that friend but since meeting my friends new girlfriend now wife her and I quickly became friends and I was even the bridesmaid at thier wedding and will be in the delivery room for the birth of thier daughter next week.

On the other hand if either of them have a problem with lunch or a meeting of some sort then I would say you and your husband need to really sit down and have a very candid talk.
Hope this helps :) Good luck.

Answer 6

It is called an emotional affair. If your husband did not feel some measure of guilt over this relationship he would not do the 'call you back later' routine in front of you. Part of the fact that he does this points to possible causes as to his behavior. The male ego is beast that is always hungry. The attention he gets from this woman feeds that ego and the fact that it bothers you (and be sure that he knows it does already) also strokes his ego and makes him 'special'. It is his way of keeping you on your toes while keeping his emotional options open.
It must be stopped and you must communicate this too him in the strongest possible terms. Even if 'nothing is going on' it will destroy the trust in your relationship and eat at the basis of your marraige. It is also not good for him to receive the reinforcement to his ego in this way. He needs to grow up and be a husband and quit playing this little boys game.
While it will not do anything to bring him to terms with his need for constant emotional stroking, you could also call the woman and ask for her boyfriends phone number. Tell her that you are having problems dealing with her and your husbands relationship and want to ask him how he is dealing with it. Make it clear if she doesn't back off using yours husband for an emotional affair you will not back off getting to her man. It may make her evaluate her relationship and hopefully put her effort into getting her emotional fix from her boyfriend instead of being the temptress on the side.

Answer 7

The same thing happened to me after a few years of marriage. The woman was a friend of both of ours but she started calling my husband at work to because she needed someone to talk to. I was cool with it at first but became increasingly uncomfortable. So I told him how I felt. He said they were just friends as well. I told him that I felt it was too intimate for her to confide in him especially about her relationship issues.
Don't suppress your feelings. It may be that he doesn't know how you feel and just talks to her when you're not around because he doesn't want to take time from you.

Answer 8

This should be raising a big red flag. Your husband has no business talking to and texting this woman all the time. Men and woman may start out as friends, but having this type of daily communication is not normal, and leaves the door open for something to happen between them later down the road. Your marriage is new and all his focus and energy should go to you. Tell him you want all communication with her stopped. Ask him how he would feel if you had a male friend that calls and texts you every day. You deserve better than this. Your husband sounds a bit immature.

Answer 9

tell your husband that you want to meet the woman.if he refuses he is sleeping with her.the phone calls are very disrespectful for a woman to constantly call someone's elses man and know he is married.I have alot of male friends and I have met all of there girlfriends.they still think sex was going on.I just get alone with males better then females.but in all fairness it is about respect.

Answer 10

I SORRY BUT IF I WAS YOU...I WOULD BE THINKING HE WAS CHEATING. I WOULD FIND OUT. HE IS UR HUSBAND DON'T BE AFRAID TO DO SOME DETECTIVE WORK. LOOK AT HIS TEXTS ....LOOK AT HIS PHONE CALLS....LOOK AT ANYTHING YOU COULD GET YOUR HANDS ON. MAYBE YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING OR MAYBE YOU WON'T.PLUS YOU SHOULD MEET THIS FRIEND...WHO THE HELL IS SHE AND WHY HAVEN'T YOU MET HER IF THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS. TELL YOUR HUSBAND YOU WANT TO MEET HER....DON'T ASK HIM. YOU ARE HIS WIFE AND YOU SHOULD KNOW HIS FRIENDS. ALSO LOOK AT HIS FACE WHEN YOU ASK TO MEET HER...IF HE IS AGAINST YOU MEETING HER....ASK HIM WHY? IF HE ACTS REALLY WEIRD...THEN I AM SORRY HE MIGHT BE CHEATING.