He told our kids not to tell me(but they did) do i have the right to know who she is if she is going to meet my children again as i told him i dont want them to see her again unless i know something about her, i told him when i met someone new over 2 years ago that i wanted my children to meet him and asked him if it was ok, my ex has told me it none of my business who he introduces to our kids what can i do?
2007-03-14 03:48:03 · 18 answers · asked by RACHEL M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
it isn't any of your business who he introduces them to. he is a parent and is alllowed to make these decisions
2007-03-14 03:52:29 · answer #1 · answered by Jason O 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a mother, you have the right to know who is coming into contact with your children as ultimately, they will impact on their lives in one way or another, especially if they are going to be on the scene for any length of time.
Children should never be introduced to partners unless the partner has been around for quite a while and then only if it seems they are going to be sticking around.
It isn't fair to let them get attached to people that are going to stay the course.
2007-03-14 04:30:59 · answer #2 · answered by Paula R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there and done that. You have every right to know who your children are exposed to, especially if YOU are the residential parent. Who knows, maybe his new floozy will be a bad influence on your children! In my case, I insisted on meeting my ex husband's new girlfriend, especially since he moved her and her 4 heathen BRATS in with him only after a month of knowing them!! (yes they are BAD disrespectful kids!). Now they have been together a year, and since then, my children have picked up some very bad habits from them. There is no discipline whatsoever. Luckily my kids only have to go over to their house every other weekend, and my teenage son refuses to go at all. I don't blame him.
Insist on meeting the new girlfriend. If she is a dangerous influence on your kids (uses drugs, is abusive, etc.), you can notify the court and get supervised visitation in place for you ex.
2007-03-14 04:16:50 · answer #3 · answered by Beach Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have obviously been apart a long time if you introduced someone to them 2 years ago. I agree that he shouldn't have asked them to lie but he is within his rights to introduce his own children to whoever he likes as long as he doesn't see the other person as a threat to his children, im sure he wouldn't put them at any risk.
2007-03-14 04:05:04 · answer #4 · answered by shez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you both have valid points, but really i feel he's right. i know if it were me, i would want to know who this person was especially since the children will be interacting with her. i would also have done the same thing you did, let the other person know there was someone else. BUT, at the same time i think i would back off pressuring him to tell you about the new person in his life. it's not going to make anything easier or better, it will just remind him of why you split up and will build resentment toward any future honesty.
2007-03-14 03:54:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing ....you do nothing. It really isn't any of your business. I say this as I have been on both sides of the fence. The only time that it is your business is when they have been convicted of some sort of abuse and that is the fathers part to tell you not the kids'. Aside from that you hold no claim to being informed. I do empathize with you though it can be tough but you trusted that man enough to have his children you have to also trust that he will not allow any wayward characters around your children.
2007-03-14 04:12:24 · answer #6 · answered by frogbfound 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no more say about who he introduces than he has you. Think about it. If you were to agree to never introduce the kids to someone unless he approved, what if he just disapproved of all for no good reason?
2007-03-14 04:12:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your ex, you are not married, so why does he have to tell you and ask your permission. It's his kids too and he wants them to meet someone he is involved with.
The same goes for you, you do not have to ask his permission when you meet someone else and introduce the kids to him.
2007-03-14 03:54:16 · answer #8 · answered by stoutseun69 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about the situation, but it just goes to show what sort of a man he is, when you started a new relationship you spoke to him about it before your introduced your new man to your kids, but he was thoughtless and couldn't care less.
2007-03-14 04:15:37 · answer #9 · answered by luz2loz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about it !! if you met someone how will you stop your kids from seeing him !!!!!!!if your ex didnt like it ? surely if you ask him in the right way he will give you a general run down on her to put your mind at rest !!! that would be better all round
2007-03-14 03:55:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing to do with you who he takes up with, and if they are going to be together then I don't think you have any right to make restrictions about who he introduces them to, after all I bet they know about anyone who comes into your life. This woman amy well become their stepmother, so it's important that they get to know her early in his relationship in case of difficulties.
2007-03-14 04:15:18 · answer #11 · answered by mike-from-spain 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋