She had it all planned out for a long time. Married for 12 years with 2 small kids. We had a good marriage and a great family. She crossed over the fence 3 months ago and I divorced her because she chose him over me. I'm a nice guy and don't seek to hurt people its just how can I make her realize that she royaly screwed up. She acts like I was never there for her and I gave her all I could she was my wife.If you ever crossed over what made you look back.
2007-03-14 03:24:03 · 29 answers · asked by The best I can do 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You reep what you sow. My "revenge" on my husband - I let him go. He made his decision to be with the other woman and he missed out on so much with our daughter (by his own choice) - her first words, first step - all things he'll never get back and will live to regret. I also (sort of) live with the hope that she'll end up cheating on him or visa versa.
I know it's hard, I've been there. But, you're not doing you or your children any favors. Just continue to show her (and everyone around you) how good of man and father you are. Eventually, she'll realize what she lost.
2007-03-14 03:30:49 · answer #1 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a nice guy - don't worry about it - what goes around comes around.
She'll get what she deserves.
You do not need to take revenge or anything - spiteful people only end up spiting themselves.
She chose him - you can't build your happiness on someone Else's unhappiness - that relationship won't last..
If that's the kind of person she is - you are better off without her.
I have never cheated in my life but have been cheated on so I know how you feel and what your going through but take my advise - I've been there - You just take care of yourself and your kids and be the best father you can be.
Good Luck
2007-03-14 10:32:59 · answer #2 · answered by Juanita L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you're hurting and I'm sure it's devastating to be cheated on. But, the anger you are carrying isn't good. You know what, the truth of this situation is that you could do 100 different things and try to seek revenge in the dirtiest and nastiest ways possible, but your ex will always believe you were never there for her and blame you. There is nothing, NOTHING you can do to change her mind. Usually when a woman cheats the relationship is over in her mind, so you need to work on you and get you back in order and let it go. It's the healthiest thing to do for you and your kids.
2007-03-14 10:30:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing you can do is live your life to the fullest don't waste one minute of your time thinking about revenge it is not worth the effort. Take the high road and be pleasant to her for the kids sake because even through your relationship didn't work out you are the parents to your children. The parent/child relationship is totally difference than your marriage relationship. Your children needs the love and support of both parents. Try working on being the best Co-parents possible!
2007-03-14 10:36:25 · answer #4 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best revenge is life. I hope you have your kids. Move on and keep improving your life. The better a person you become the more she will think about what she did. When you decide to move on and start a new relationship she may get jealous. Remember, everything you do to someone comes back 3 fold. So she will get a dose of her own medicine without you doing anything to feel bad about.
2007-03-14 10:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by catmomiam 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is to start taking care of yourself. If you do anything for revenge then you will prove to her (and others) that she did what she had to do because of you. It sounds like she didn't appreciate the way you expressed your love for her. That's a tradgedy and I am sorry she took advantage of your love.
The best way to get "revenge" if you want to use that word is to take care of yourself. Start eating right, start exercising, and take care of your body. Buy new clothes. At the same time, start finding out more about yourself. Find out what you like and dislike. Find out who you are spiritually and socially. Make peace with yourself and find friends who accept you for you. Get out and do some of the things you've always wanted to do. Go on a trip. But be careful, don't run away from any of your problems because anything undealt with will still be there.
The most difficult thing she'll have to deal with is when she wakes up and sees what she lost. Continue to be you and be the best real you that you can be. Don't try to be perfect. That would be a mistake but be the real honest you. Be careful not to jump into other relationships before you take care of you. When you are ready for dating then only date people who share your same values.
Yes, your wife screwed up. It's too bad she wasn't honest enough with you, or wasn't willing to stick to her commitment with you. You must move on even though it hurts. So be good to yourself. Find a good counselor who can help you with your emotional healing. Take it one day at a time because the pain won't go away overnight. Whatever you do make sure that you don't go against your own concience.
2007-03-14 10:27:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best revenge is no revenge at all. Revenge is an immature response to being hurt, and it shows her that you are still thinking about her. Move on and simply treat her with politeness and respect. This will show her that she lost a good man and not some loser who wants to even the score. If you set out to get her back, all you are going to do is make her glad she left; and the worst part is you will be hurting your children in the process. For their sake (and yours) you need to get along with her as much as possible. It takes a real man to walk away with his dignity still in tact. Best wishes to you.
2007-03-14 10:31:44 · answer #7 · answered by ceegt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You want her to realise that that she screwed up! What for? That means you care and love your hurt more than anything else. Stop this .Start loving yourself and be compassionate to your own self. This way you will start forgiving your own self and then others weaknesses. You see world is not all white or black, but grey . Unfortunately you got darker shade of grey in your life. This does not mean that you (indirectly) should blame yourself for what happened to you and keep your wounds open by greiving. Try to heal your mind and soul by loving and respecting yourself and forgiving the weaknesses in others. Be so strong that you can forgive the weaknesses in others. Soul is pure , body is soil and bodily comforts and biological needs and deeds go to the soil with death. Soul when soiled with mind ( and thoughts ) suffers some time or other before and after death ,. So please try to become pure in mind and thoughts by loving your own inner self. Time is just a flash in the cosmos. Do not waste your own time with negativity. Throw the negativity away.
2007-03-18 09:33:25 · answer #8 · answered by vandana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it, and grow up. You still care too much for what you had and what you thought she was. But what you had is gone, and what she was no longer exists -- you're trying to get revenge against something that is no longer there....
Get into some counseling. The shorter the time you spend in anger, the healthier you will become, and more capable of finding another partner, should you wish again to be happy in one.
Good luck, hon
2007-03-14 10:42:01 · answer #9 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe this will serve as some consolation. I know a woman who cheated on her hunny, she left him for this guy. The guy, devastated, moved on and after a few years he remarried and was very happy.
The woman was still with the man she cheated with, who was also married at the time.
About 5 years passed.
About 5 months ago, the lover (they never married) got up and VANISHED, dumped her.
Now her ex husband is happily married and she is ALL ALONE in her 50's.
She so deserved it.
2007-03-14 10:31:31 · answer #10 · answered by Amy B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋