Is it ok for a man in a relationship to be friends with a girl he slept with ONCE?

Question

I'll make this short:
He is an ex- broke up coz of fishy friendship with a female- I knew they like each other and I was the only reason they can't date- told him not ok and he left me saying I should be able to trust in love and accept their friendship- within 2 months he dates 2 other women- 2nd being HER and they didnt work out coz she wanted to see someone else- he comes back to me now claiming he never felt anything for her- they are still friends and he won't give that up for me as that is my terms and conditions for me to EVEN CONSIDER his presence back!

What do you think of the situation? I am ready to walk away coz I deserve better but am I wrong for walking away? Am I being irrational?

He also claims I am still the reason they cant be together. She doesnt want him coz he is in love with me and he cant have her coz he loves me still and cant move on. Is he playin me?

Thank you in advance for answering!

Answer 1

Hmmm...sounds like you pushed him into it.

He seems like trouble.
SHE seems like trouble.
YOU seem like trouble.

All of you have issues. You all should go on Maurey.

Answer 2

honestly, i think so.

You wanna know why - because I've done this before. I know, horrible but true. I play girls. If i see something else I want, and I'm with someone already, I'll make up any excuse... even the 'you don't trust me.. we can't do this' excuse.
Then I'll go and see whats up with the other girl... if it works, great. If it doesn't... then I might go back to the other girl that I left esp If I know she'll take me back. And what he told you sounds like something I've said once before.

I think your getting played.

Don't be dumb. If he was really in love with you, he would have not left. Don't be another one of those girls guys can say "yeah i got that girl wrapped around my finger"

Sorry .. and ps- I'm tryin to change

Answer 3

In a relationship you have to have trust or it will never work. I think it is OK to be friends with a girl even if you dated her and had sex with her. If he truly is in love with you he will never cheat on you. You have to trust him and he has to trust you. If you don't trust him then I wouldn't take him back. When I got married I was still friends with one of my exes. We were keeping in contact through email. My wife found out and emailed her telling her to stop emailing me. She denies doing it but I checked the sent messages. We fought about this for a long time. The funny thing is she lives in another state so there is no way we would do anything.

Answer 4

The point is not is it okay for a man to have a friendship with someone he had sex with in the past. In some relationships it is okay for a man to have sex with a variety of women during the current relationship.

The point is for you to set standards for your relationships make the person aware of your standards and live with them.

It is not so much could anyone else handle having a boyfriend that behaves that way. Can you???? If not then it does not matter if we think you are right or wrong.

If you are mature enough to have relationships then you need to have your own standards for behavior in a relationship and be willing to live with the consequences.

Answer 5

Wow, he has player all over him. you sound like a well-educated woman who definitely deserves better. He shouldn't be blaming you for not being with this girl if he doesn't love her. My personal opinion, I think he just loves you cuz he wants support with his life, but when he is confident, he is going to 'love' someone for a night, if you know what I mean. I have been down that road. Listen, dump that *** of a boyfriend you call and go top this website:

www.okcupid.com

There you can browse profiles of guys in your area, instant message them, e-mail, flirt with them, and know what the guy might be like before you guys hook-up. The best part, it's all free. No gimmics or nothing.
I can vouch cuz I live with my girl. I used to live in chicago, now i live with her in Michigan. i love her and i know now there is better than the ex. And i met her on the site

Answer 6

Just because a man and a woman have had sex in the past, doen't mean they can't be friends. I went out with the same gal for 2 seperate relationships. It didn't work out either time, but we became good friends and remain so. I am happily married and would not cheat with her even if she was interested.

Contrary to poular beliefe, a man and a woman do not have to be having sex or wanting to have sex to be friends. Grow up people, it's the 21st century.

Cheers :-)

Answer 7

I think he is playing you. I have had guy friends I have slept with once and we are still friends. I mean really good friends.:) If I were in your situation I would get some guy friends and see what he say about that. But on the real
leave him, he still talking to that girl they could be going together. Follow him around sometimes and see what's up?

Answer 8

Ever heard the saying "Can't have your cake and eat it too"? Well, apparently he can. He can't be with her because he loves you, but he won't leave her alone because you should understand? He's got the best of both worlds, and probably has the two of you (ladies) angry at each other. Forget that! Be mad at him, then be rid of him. Because he is bad news. He reminds me of my first husband; when we had been separated many years, I asked him why he never got a divorce. His response was "As long as I'm married to you, I can get out of marrying anyone else." Sound familiar?

Answer 9

Men and women can be friends after having sex HOWEVER
your gut says he cannot be trusted so WALK AWAY.

His claims that you are the reason he cannot have her tell you everything you should need to know. HE WANTS HER but cannot have her so he is wanting to see what he can have with you.

Answer 10

I think that he has feelings for this other female. If he won't stop being friends with her for you, then you need to weigh out the consequences. Either take him back and except his friendship? Or stop trying to take him back. It sounds like he's is trying to play you.

Answer 11

No, you're no longer incorrect. only using fact somebody is your pal, would not advise you ought to help them whilst they are of course doing something this is morally incorrect. It shows what form of individual she is. She's so egocentric that she cares extra approximately what she needs than with reference to the kinfolk and marriage she helps to break. And the guy that she is messing around with? Why might she try this with this form of lowlife this is cheating on his very own spouse? Why might she even choose to be with that guy, understanding what style of individual he's and what he can do to his spouse? it is so unhappy. certainly, i would not proceed the friendship. i might take a seat her down, clarify exact to her which you care approximately her friendship, yet which you do no longer purely like the concepts she's making or the guy she's become, and tell her which you will no longer stay her pal and help it. think of approximately it, if that's her ethical scope, that she will try this, i might initiate thinking approximately what she ought to do to me. this is somebody i would not have confidence anymore, to be frank. and she or he expects you to be supportive of it? this is sparkling she has a me, me, me mentality? What approximately you and what you're dealing with? How are you meant to help that? Please tell her this... i'm an infidelity couples counselor: out of all the married men that go directly to divorce their different halves, purely 3% of them certainly finally end up marrying "the different female." And out of that 3$, eighty% of those couples divorce interior of 5 years. those are information she desires to be attentive to, using fact curiously she's residing in l. a. l. a. land. good success. in my opinion this would properly be a pal i would not choose to have anymore.