What if you are living together and have been a housewife for 5 years but no longer love or fancy him?

Question

We sleep in seperate rooms and have become just friends. All his relationships ended up like this.
He is tied to his mothers apron strings and at 45 years old still stays there once a week and phones them every night. Sometimes even before he has sat down and talked to me from coming in from work.
I am 35 and worried that it is too late to start over again. I dont have a job or a car or a place to go to. Its really scary! I live in the middle of the country side with no public transport so I can't get to a job easily and I have no idea what to do. I feel so trapped and dont know where to start. Any words or advice?

Answer 1

You have asked this question and make it seem like you have a miserable existence (maybe you have), but I have just seen a question that you have given an answer to about what people have got going on this year and god if I were going away as many times as you said you are, I'd be thankful for the life I have!

Answer 2

Why dont you go away for a while and let him try and look after himself,or will he go back to Mummy's when you're away?
You must have friends you could go and see somewhere,even if it was to get your head a round things and find out what you want in a relationship.....
Why do people sleep in seperate rooms if they are in a relationship??????
Surely being alone and happy is far better than being with someone and being miserable????????
You must have a truly good friend somewhere,have a chat with them.....People only treat you the way you let them.....
Remember that,you deserve better and its not too late at 35 to start again with someone new,you are as old as you feel...
I'd get a job somewhere,get a place of your own and then get a car,your whole world will open up and things will get better for you....Good luck

Answer 3

You two don't appear to have much to gain by trying to work things out so your direction seems clear enough here. You will need to rely on family(if you have any) to aid you in moving so contact them prior to acting on any decision you make. Discuss your options with them. If you don't have family then a close friend for temporary help and a place to stay. Sit him down and tell him you are leaving and that you cannot continue living like roommates so you won't be back. As far as starting over, my second wife and I started over at your age and had a storybook marriage for 16 great years until I lost her to cancer. Love happens at any age so don't ever think you are too old to find happiness. I have a dear friend that was unhappily married for 22 years(his first wife had split personality disorder) and after a year of being divorced found a wonderful woman at age 56. They have been happily married for a while now. You will be okay as long as you keep your self confidence. Good Luck.

Answer 4

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Answer 5

It is not too late to start over. My husband was 35 when we got married so there is still hope.

I would tell him that you want to get a job so you have something to do and a little 'mad money'. So you need the car a few day a week. Then once you get a job start saving for your own car. That way you will have one not matter what happens you will have some freedom. Also, I would tell him that you want to get married. Wait until you have a car to tell him that either you get married or you leave. Then if he says no then leave.

It work of me. I told my husband that if he wanted me to stay then he would have to marry me. 3 months later we were married.

Answer 6

I see nothing wrong with a man that is close to his mother. My husband was close to his mother, infact he laid in the bed with her stroking her hair when she took her last breath the day we lost her to liver cancer. He to use to call her everyday {and his father as well} either on his way home from work or as soon as he walked in the door and 2 times a month he'd go and visit them staying over 2 nights. That being said 35 is NOT to old to start over start by talking to him about how you feel. Tell him you'd like to get a job and Im sure he'd be supportive then go from there. If youve never worked it ofcourse wont be the highest level job out there but it will be a job non the less. If you are married and want out get out dont try to find excuses ppl do grow apart. If you are not married then start finding it in yourself the drive to move forward. Either go to friends or family if they are around most decent ppl will not turn away a friend in need

Answer 7

I've just split with my partner, he doesn't love me anymore, and i don't want him there when he has no feelings for me and I'm sure your partner feels the same. You are only 35, plenty of time to start again, and at 45 the only way he is going to let go of mummys apron strings is if she dies. I have 4 kids its not so easy for me, get yourself a job it will give you some independance, you'll have your own money, then you can get your own place, and you'll meet people at work, and won't feel so trapped. you say you have no car, get one or at least a bike

Answer 8

Listen,
No matter what happens in your life there is always a way out,sure it may mean losing your home,your job,your family BUT you have to ask yourself what is more important.
If your not happy and know to become happy you must leave everything behind then you have a tough decision to make.
If your not happy and you know you could be happy by leaving then you have to do whats best for you.
If you cant see things any better than they are now and you know you dont love your husband and never will love him then you owe it to you both to leave.
Have you tried talking to your husband telling him how you feel?if so and you still dont love him then maybe you should think long and hard about what you want from your life and if its not to be with your husband then you should leave

Answer 9

Believe me 35 is not too old to start living. You are not married, you are not a prisoner. Hopefully you have access to funds and can take some, walk away and start living. Get a job, walk/bus to work, rent a room. Maybe become a live in nanny if you can handle children. Do this now before you are 45. (If you have family go to them for support, but I am assuming he has distanced them from you)

Answer 10

It might be scary at first but you are only 35 which is not old. Make a fresh start - do you still want to feel like this at 40? Only you can take the first step towards a big change in your life.